Pretty Boy Payton Turned 2

On his 2nd birthday, Payton walked into nursery on his own, without crying for the first time ever.

He now lets us read to him. His favorite books being:

• If You Give a Cat a Cupcake (he asks for "cupcake, cupcake")
• If You Give a Pig a Party (we enjoy finding all her friends)
• Blue Hat Green Hat
• Who Stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar
• A stupid pirate book that has a "(s)cary bug" that we squish with our thumb and a "peencha c(r)ab" that we immitate by pinching each other with our fingers
• 10 Little Ladybugs (another "bug" book, but they are not scary)

He's not nursing anymore. He completely weaned about 2 weeks before his birthday.

He's settling in to a bedtime routine: teethbrushing, stories, and sleep.

When we bless the dinner he folds his arms, lays his head down on the table, and then after we've all said "amen", he will lift his head up, smile and kindly say "amen" as well. (this, instead of declaring in his loudest voice "A-MEN", or telling us "no pray, no pray"... I'm glad those 2 phases are over, although the first was hard not to laugh at)

He still likes "cook-een" in the kitchen with me. He mostly stays away from the oven though.

He has generalized that anything you plug in is either "loud" or "hot". It cracks me up. I was plugging in the hot glue gun and he said, "oh, loud!" On Super Why he always says "oh, HAUT!" when the pig saws out the letters creating a bunch of dust.

He knows the following shapes: cir-coe, tie-an-goe, oh-boe, ec-tan-goe, and kwair.

His favorite color is "lelloe". If you are familiar with the Sandra Boynton book, Blue Hat, Green Hat, he will read, "lelloe hat, lelloe hat, lelloe hat, oots!" This is precious. I need to get it on video.

The only way I can cut his fingernails is to bribe him by painting them as I go. I try to stick to boy blue, but he really likes the green and purple. Bill absolutely LOVES this.

He really likes to try on clothes when Tasha is. He especially insists on trying on the dresses and spinning. When he does this, Tasha and I say in our sweetest voices, "awe PT, you're so pri-tee!" He then gives us his most petite smile ever.

He can walk pretty well in Kyra's slip on high heals, even with his toes poking through the front and hitting the floor. (this may help, actually)

Bill might get concerned about all this pretty boy stuff, except that he has the following disgusting habits that I would like eliminated:

• He calls most brown things "poop", including the dinner I made last night.
• "too-pid, too-pid, too-pid" is a regular word, along with the phrase, "oh, c(r)ap"
• He likes to pretend to hawk loogies (is that how you spell that?), complete with a hand swipe of the mouth.
• He's fallen asleep more than once with his hand in his diaper. I got a picture, but it is very dark.
• He is VERY good at being a little brother. Ask his sisters. Someday we hope all the bullying will be put to good use and he can fend off undesireable male suiters.

40 is the beginning of everything that matters...

"It's when you start to be respected in the world,

make an impact, and get listened to.

It's when you let go of everything fake

and pursue what's important to you for real.

It's when you realize that

knowing what you know,

you wouldn't go back.

40 is when you deserve to celebrate yourself

and take pride in your strengths without apologizing.

So celebrate you today-

where you are right now-

you deserve it.!"

-Hallmark

"I'm going to be 40..."

This is one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, When Harry Met Sally. Sally is all upset because she's not married and doesn't have kids and her ex boyfriend just got engaged and it wasn't to her...blah, blah, blah. Then she declares:

Sally: "And I'm going to be 40" (sob, sob, sob)
Harry: "When?"
Sally: "...SOME DAY!" (SOB, SOB, SOB)
Harry: "Yeah, like in 8 years."

OK Sally. I've got you beat. I'm going to be 40... SOON! Like in 5 days!

AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

So, I'm making a list of 40 things I'm going to do while I'm 40. I'm up for suggestions, although if they cost too much money I'll be calling you to flip the bill.

Q: What do you say when your vacuum is not working properly?

A: You can't say, "this vacuum sucks", because it doesn't.

Hmm, I really only told you what the answer insn't. I guess this post should only be a "Q". Oh well, maybe you have the answer.

PT is 2 Today

Odd Things

There has been a guy playing the bagpipes at the park every morning this week at 8 am. It's the best music I've ever heard coming through my bedroom window.

All my kids were up at 6:30 this morning. I went back to bed as they snuggled on the couch to watch "(In)credibos" together. The 2 girls weren't feeling well and ended up staying home.

I was trying to make a rocket cake for PT's birthday and was quite disappointed in how it was coming out. As I voiced my opinion and was about to give up, my oldest daughter pipes in with, "M0-om, he's 2. He's just going to see Buzz sitting on top and be happy." When did we switch roles?

I've done more cooking and baking this last week than I did all last month. It concluded with 2 new yummy recipes this evening at 1am (I guess that's actually tomorrow morning).

There's been a fly on this computer screen the whole time I've been typing and it hasn't budged a bit. Not even to move a little leg or flap a wing. Whoops, there he goes... he must know I'm talking about him.

Speaking of him and her, It's odd that we give gender identification to certain things. Yesterday I told a friend that the compost cake we made was looking good. I said, "I think he's done" as we threw on a few more crushed oreos and some sour worms. She giggled and said, "oh, it's a him is it?" Funny how gross things like stinky compost and annoying flies are boys.

I've been reading this person's blog for a while now and I'm pretty sure he's posted about a keyboard he likes more than once. It reminds me of Greg Kinear's character in You've Got Mail and how he has 3 or 4 typewriters at his various places of writing. Even though I want to mock these people in their specific preferences, I have recently become annoyed at our keyboard and (not so secretly anymore) covet this guy's obsession because it lights up and has a cool kind of glow to it. I think I'd be happy if I just didn't confuse the backspace key with the \\\\\ key. That's annoying.

There are 3 movies that keep replaying on our movie channel that I will stop and watch at any time of day: Easy A, Dear John, and Burlesque. Dear John is playing right now.

We have some pillows on our couch that have feathers in them. Sometimes they will poke out the fabic of the pillow and poke at you. When this happens, Bill pulls them out and then searches for more. It annoys the crud out of me, but also makes me laugh because he makes a funny face when he's found one and trying to get a grip on it. Now, of course, I sort of look for those boogies to pull out as well.

The Cardinals won the World Series! Woo Hoo! This isn't the odd thing, we have to go to last night's game for that. (If you don't follow baseball you can skip over the rest of this paragraph.) Last night the Cardinals were down by 2 runs. There was one out, runners on 1st and 2nd, and the guy at bat struck out. The next guy up hit a long fly ball to center field that scored 2 runs and sent them into extra innings. If they had not won last night they would have lost the series. Now, if you've stuck with me this far, here's the odd thing: if that guy had not struck out and given them 2 outs, the runners would have had to stay on their bases in case the ball to center field was caught. But, because there were 2 outs, they started running as soon as it was hit and both scored.

We've been talking about getting a land line again for a long time and finally did it. We haven't given out the phone number though because then we'd have to answer it. So far it's just a bunch of telemarketers, which reminds us of why we got rid of the line in the first place. We mostly use it to call our cell phones to find them. It's quite convenient for that since it's attached to the wall and isn't going anywhere.

That dumb fly is still there and is now inching (or maybe millimetering) his way down the screen to interfere with my ability to see what I'm typing. I guess it's time to go. Goodnight!

The Best Thursday, EVER!

Some days I seem to get nothing done, while other days I accomplish plenty. If I have a fun day but get nothing done I try not to feel too guilty for goofing off and it typically involves one of the kids so I call it motherhood. The accomplished days are usually good because things get done and I have something to show for it, even if it's just empty laundry bins and folded, clean clothes.

Today was something entirely different. I had a blast, got a lot accomplished, AND spent plenty of time with friends and family. Here's what went down:

First I spent 5 hours decorating cakes for a fundraiser on Saturday. I've never done this before and got to use all kinds of fun tools. I didn't have to make the scrumptious looking frosting and didn't have to clean up. I saw plenty of friends and acquaintances that I haven't seen in a while, and I got to be creative all at the same time.

It was so much fun I called it a play date for moms!

After that I came home and helped Tasha finish her homework before we headed off to IKEA. Anyone that knows me knows that IKEA is one of my favorite places to go. I'm not sure why, but it is. This time was even better because it was Tasha's idea to go and it was just the 2 of us. I needed to find some lighting and picked up a few more things because that's what I do. It was a productive trip and Payton was asleep when I got home.

Also when I got home, Billy and his girlfriend were sitting on the couch chatting with Bill. It was great to see them both again, and we set a couple more dates to get together for PT's birthday and pre-Christmas festivities.

Sadly, Kyra was sick for most of this day, but I did a few motherly things for her and she mostly just needed to rest. She, too, was in bed when I got home from the store. I got her some more medicine and she's resting well now.

When everyone was tucked away and Billy had gone, Bill and I watched the end of game 6 of the World Series. It didn't look too good before extra innings, but the Cardinals pulled it off and we're going to the final game tomorrow night. Go Cardinals!

During the bottom of the 9th inning, I put together 2 of the lights that I bought at IKEA. I heart IKEA and the keen folks that put together the products and their instructions. This is one of my favorite guys:

He doesn't talk much, but he isn't afraid to admit that he doesn't know what he's doing. He'll ask for instructions and then is very helpful and draws pictures for me to assemble things. Over all, he's very thorough and gets the job done. I especially like it when he tells me that I need a friend to build something big. I didn't need anyone else tonight, but that's OK.

Finally, I finished the sewing I needed to do for Halloween. This is odd, like really odd for me. I'm usually working on it as the kids are dressing and here it is 2 days before they need the dang shirts and 4 days before actual Halloween.

Oh, and now, as I type up this blog post, I'm using one of the desk lights that I bought and assembled to light up the keyboard and not hit a bunch of keys I don't mean to.

Aaah, here's to bedtime and a good Friday.

My mom passed me a note at church today. She asked, "Does Payton say, 'oh crap'?"

Yes mom, yes he does. It comes out "oh cap", but it is used appropriately with the right intonations so you really know what he's saying.

He also says:

"give it" when he wants something

"give it bak" when you've taken something from him

"shu-up" when he wants you to stop talking

"go way" when he wants you to leave

"cum ON!" when he's ready to go, usually while pulling on a part of your body or clothing

"ah dis" when he wants you to hold him or something else

"oh can-ee, can-ee, caaaannnnn-eeeee!" when he'd like a piece of candy

"chock-it" for chocolate chips, only when "yem-en-emm's" are not available

"shu-de-door!" which is actually quite cute. Sometime he's telling you that he will shut the door, sometimes there is a question mark at the end of the statement as he's asking you if you would like him to shut it.

"gim-me" if it's clear that he'd like what you have

"NO PUTER!" as he climbs onto your chair, up over your body, onto the desk, and puts the screen to the laptop down. What can I say? The boy takes things into his own hands if you've been on the computer for too long. Unfortunately for me, "too long" is not very long at all.

And a nice rendition of the "clean up" song that he sang today, on the bench, during sacrament:

"keen up, keen up, evee buh-ee, shu-up!"

I couldn't be more proud of this rowdy boy. (please note the sarcasm!)

Oh Mother!

My mom took Bill and I out to dinner this weekend. Just as she sat down, she said, "hey, my grandson didn't call me like he was supposed to". So what does she do? She whips out her cell phone and sends him a text.

I believe it was only a short year ago when she was lecturing my brother and I about putting our phones away when we were out with her. My, how the times have changed.

(sorry for the lame picture... MY cell phone doesn't take that great of pic's, especially in dim, Outback lighting!)

Score One for The Dinosaur Train

I love how children's shows change for the times. You have politically correct characters, kids excited about recycling, and parents using modern parenting techniques. These things make me sit back and wonder who writes these shows and how they come up with the topics and dialogue.

I have no doubt how the following dialogue appeared on The Dinosaur Train. Someone had my house bugged (they just changed the word "park" to "beach" and added in the train bit).

Child dino: Mom, can we go down to the beach?
Mom dino: Sure kids.
Child dino: We're gonna find ... and ... and ... (I wasn't really listening until...)
Mom dino: OK kids, you're father would be happy to take you!
Child dino: Alright! Can we take the dinosaur train?
Dad dino: (a bit hesitantly because he just got hosed into taking the kids to the beach) Sure kids, let's go down to the beach and give your mom some quality time to herself.

I KID YOU NOT!!! That show just taught my 2 year old that I need quality time for myself. LOVE IT!

Long ago were the days when those kids would come home to a glass of milk and homemade cookies with mom in an apron, dress, heals and pearls, mopping the floor. "Awe shucks, Beaver, what'd you have to go and do that for?" I still have a crush on Wally Cleaver.

Above is a picture of all the EXTRA computer paraphernalia I found on, under, behind, and viciously tangled around the computer desk and floor.

Below is a picture of everything that we actually need.

How To

Today I should have googled many "how to" articles and videos, including:

• How to remove vanilla scented lotion from carpet
• How to remove vanilla scented lotion from leather
• How to remove vanilla scented lotion from Bullseye, the plastic horsey
• How to save lunch after it's been dumped on the floor
• How to teach a toddler to make a pb&j sandwich
• How to read the directions on the dinner that takes 5 hours in a crock pot to prepare, before it is an hour until dinner (oops)

Instead, I watched a how to video on how to make avocado rolls. I can now make them, but I am deeply disappointed in humantiy. The girl on the video was annoying as all get-out, but very thorough. The comments were more about her appearance and asking her out than they were about the food she prepared. Don't concern yourself with the fact that she claimed her eggrolls were vegan and then smeared egg on the wrapper to seal them, go ahead, leave your number and contact information for all utube fans to view. Ugh.

And the video that I should have made:

"How to get age defying face moisturizer out of your son's hair" would have included a fit as I shoved his head under the shower head and would have ended in a nice soppy towel that he decided needed to be on the floor of the shower instead of hanging up.

If You think this is a Picture of Dessert, You're Wrong

The picture is actually of the clean counter, underneath the dessert. I finally have an island back! I haven't seen it since the beginning of the summer. How do I know this? We bought some bamboo at the end of last school year and set it in the middle of the island. That's the fatal mistake, we can't put ANYTHING on the island as a permanent resting place. If there is anything on it, it works like a magnet and attracts EVERYTHING. I've seriously been preparing and cooking off of 1-2 square feet of space for quite a while now.

NTS: Don't leave anything on the island or you will loose the island.

Now I can have people over again. I can make delicious looking cupcakes like my friend did here, and have a party! I can spill something and not worry about it soaking a bunch of school papers. Kyra can leave me a note in the morning and I will see it. "Oh, the things I can think..." of to do with a clean counter!

Turns Out

I lurk on my husband's facebook account sometimes and it usually doesn't bother him because I do it while he's asleep. When he's up I question him on who people are and he threatened to change his password so I couldn't log in anymore... TURNS OUT he didn't change it, I clicked on something weird, but then read something nice he said about me. Awe.

There was this girl sporting a long blond ponytail with pink highlights that bobbed back and forth as she walked down the street... TURNS OUT it was a guy.

Kyra's school was supposed to start at 7am this year and I thought, "holy crap, how am I supposed to get up and get her to school so early?"... TURNS OUT they switched it to 8am, she carpools with my neighbor and I don't even have to get out of bed to see her off because she's 13 and self-sufficient.

Payton wakes up at 6:30ish and wants to wath TV...TURNS OUT if I make him go back to sleep (this usually involves a smack on the butt and a yell), he'll sleep until 8:45.

NTS: Get a Home Phone

I made quite a few phone calls one evening and got to leave messages with several husbands. That just doesn't happen very often anymore. I have my phone, Bill has his. Whomever you wish to speak to, you call and leave them a message. Nobody writes things down anymore, or do they?

Well, it was such a delight chatting with these old guys that I feel I'm doing people an injustice when I am the only one answering my phone. Shouldn't we have a home phone that my children can answer? Isn't that part of growing up, a rite of passage, or at least a fun way to torment telemarketers? Shouldn't Bill be able to share his vast knowledge of my whereabouts with my friends that call?

I just think we're missing out on a little socializing when you only get to talk to the person you are trying to reach. With caller ID, we're also forgetting our manners. We forget to acknowledge who we are, assuming that the person on the other end knows who we are before they pick up the phone.

So, next on the list: buy a home phone without caller ID or an anwering machine and teach my children phone etiquette. (and possible re-teach those same values to some of the people that call my home)

Dear Allrecipe Critics,

If you don't like spinach, don't make spinach enchiladas. Duh! Please don't give them a bad rating because you are stupid. Of course you didn't like them, you don't like spinach.

Let's review: don't try a recipe with ingredients that you don't like and then say it is no good.

Fondly,

H

FHE: Tasha Style

Tasha conducted because that's what she does.

Paton prayed.

Kyra was not informed that she had the song so we skipped it because Pt was cranky anyway. Kyra is usually really good at doing the song. She likes to ask what the lesson is on and then picks something to go with the theme. She will then gather song books and/or make copies of the song so that everyone has the words. Sometimes she will conduct, if I harass her to.

Tasha gave the lesson. It went something like this:

"OK. We're going to talk about how to keep your body healthy and clean. So, everyone, what kinds of things should we eat like fruits and vegetables?" (we answered with fruits and vegetables, because we're THAT kind of a family) She continued..."now we're going to do a spearmint." She poured orange food coloring into a glass, added some baking soda, then poured vinegar in it. It bubbled, turned orange and almost topped the glass. Next, she did the same with green. We all oohed and aahed and PT said, "gen, gen" so she would do it again.
"OK, now I'm going to mix them together.(she does) Which one of these would you like your body to be?" She makes a face at the yicky, now brownish colored vinegar mix, and then smiles at a glass of clear water. We all agree that the clear one is best.

Bill gives the closing prayer and blesses my treat which is resting and waiting to be cooked.

I had treat. We had tacos for dinner and while the family was out washing the van and the car I made them fresh chips as well. Since the oil for frying was out, I looked up a recipe for sopapillas. At dinner, Tasha suggested we have "those puffy things with honey in them" for a treat. I've tried several recipes and have never gotten them right until now. I learned the secret: don't overknead/roll the dough or they will not puff. So, if you want the best recipe with the best tutorial, check this site for super duper sopa's!

And there you have it, FHE, done!

It's NOT Just Spilt Milk

After finding his milk in the fridge, but having a new cup in hand, Payton convinced me to pour his old milk into his new cup. Then he proceeded to take sips from his cup and spit his milk into a shape sorter bucket. He did this repeatedly as I sat in disgust. Then he picked up the bucket and dumped a good couple of teaspoons of spit-milk onto the floor. Of course, this needed rubbing in, so he did it. Now, why use a middle-man bucket... sip milk and spit it directly onto the floor. He's now brought me a new cup, without a lid, and is respectfully asking me to pour his milk into this cup. I don't think so!

I'm Tired of Saying "NO!"

After listening to myself say "no" to Payton so many times, I just get tired of it. I wonder if it's worth it, doing any good, or necessary. So, this morning I decided to restrain unless I absolutely had to. I realize "necessary" is a relative term, so guess which 2 items below I did NOT say no to:

1. Eating his baked potato in the living room, dumping it on the ground .
2. Pushing the chair around the kitchen to climb up onto the island.
3. Pushing another chair over to the sink to play in water and dirty dishes, some of them glass.
4. Playing in the beads for the vase that holds yet another stem of dying bamboo.
5. Playing in the bowl of flour mix leftover from Sunday dinner.
6. Drinking from the gallon milk jug after I poured him a sippy cup full of "muck!".
7. Shoving a DVD under the door while I was taking a shower.
8. Throwing a metronome on the ground with the possibility of it busting to pieces.
9. Climbing yet another chair to reach into the knife drawer.
10. Pulling my computer chair down the hall for who knows what reason.
11. Taking cucumber and zucchini into the living room to remind Potato Head that if he loses his body he can just use one of them.
12. Playing with scissors.
13. Playing with our double deck of Canasta cards. (the ones that haven't been crumpled to pieces yet by his grubby little hands)
14. Trying to cut through a henna tube with scissors, then going back to the drawer for a knife.
15. "Cutting" the homemade granola bar on the counter by himself with a spatula.
16. Pulling out the vaccuum and bringing it to he living room.
17. Pushing a chair to the freezer to withdraw some ice from the door.
18. Topsizing the chair as he tried to get it onto the carpet, for who knows what reason.
19. Climbing me like a jungle gym.
20. Pulling off the counter and stepping on an unopened CD, repeatedly.

UGH! Boys. Seriously, I only stopped him twice and it's not even noon. Maybe I can convince him it's naptime soon.

Like Father, Like Son

Payton is obsessed with Toy Story, but he won't watch the beginning of the second one. It's the one where Rex is playing the Buzz Lightyear video game. Now, who knows Bill well enough to know why Payton does not like this part?

A Thespian, however, Bill is not. Payton acted out one of the Toy Story 2 scenes at Sonic one day:

Fortunately he did not cause any traffic accidents.

We have this friend...

...who will remain nameless. He calls every Thursday because he has a long drive. He typically calls during dinner time, dinner prep time, or post dinner clean up time. It's inevitable and we usually don't answer the phone.

Last night he called Bill. Bill didn't answer.

Then he texted Bill. Bill did not reply.

Then he called me. I didn't answer.

Then he texted me. "will u have bill call me"

Then comes the confession, from Bill. "OK, here's the thing," Bill begins.

Oh brother, this is going to be good. I start to laugh immediately because only these 2 could come up with something that involves 2 calls, 2 texts, and an explanation to precede the actual event. I'm laughing, but Bill is still serious.

"Um," he continues. "(insert friend's name here) asked me to join a Fantasy Football league. They were short one person and they weren't going to be able to have a league." Like I care who does or does not get to play Fantasy Football. Oh brother, THAT's what this is about?

Bill's team name is "The Oneders". Site the reference and/or come up with a better Fantasy Football team name.

Dear PT,

I am not:

• a stepping stool
• a chair
• a towel
• a tissue
• a jungle gym
• a punching bag
• a Stretch Arm Strong
• a balance beam
• a trampoline

Please stop treating me as such.

With sincere love and care,

Mom

If Looks Could Kill

The morning didn't start off great...

Kyra couldn't find her ID and thought waking me up would help. It doesn't, because I don't know where it is. So I lay in bed praying (seriously) that she will get it together, retrace her steps and find it. She doesn't, but comes in to cry to me. That REALLY doesn't help because that just makes me mad. I get up, yell, send her out the door without it. Because I yelled, PT and Tasha now get up, which is fine because I want to get into the shower.

After my shower, my head is clear and I can think clearly... I ask Tasha if she's seen Kyra's ID and she said yesterday she was wearing it. A-ha, a clue! She was wearing it yesterday when Tasha came home. She was playing with PT in his room. Is it possible that PT got it? And what would PT do with it? Yep, the same thing he does with everything these days...he puts it inbetween his bed and wall, which means it's under the bed with the bickit. I send Tasha under and she comes up with it within seconds.

I call Millie (she drives K to school), she says Kyra was worse by the time they got to school (mainly because they discussed what would happen because she didn't have her ID- a normal child would calm down at this discussion, but this is Kyra we're talking about here), and she even said she felt sick. I imagine she did, being Kyra and all, feel very sick to her stomach. Anyway, I decide to take the stupid ID down to the school but determine that this is my one trip to school today so Kyra can ride the bus home. I don't know where her bus pass is though, so I take Tasha's, hoping they don't check it on the bus.

I call Glenda so I can pick something up, drop Tasha off, forget to pick up the stuff from Glenda, and drive to Kyra's school. I spend 15 minutes in the office waiting for Kyra to finish taking notes on 3 slides in LA (as instructed by her teacher). This would be fine if I had a book and no toddler, but I don't and I do. After searching AZ Parenting mag for balls, flowers, babies, and (woohoo!) Buzsh, and pulling him off the chair that leads to the alarm on the wall, I head outside. BIG mistake because it's stinkin' hot outside. FINALLY Kyra makes it to the office and we take care of business. She's better but now I'm pissed. SHe has a sticker on her shirt that says, "I don't have an ID tag today". Seriously? They branded her! This from a school that has a no bullying policy. UGH.

We leave school and go to SUnflower and this goes well. PT likes to throw the fruits and vegetables into the cart and they hardly get bruised.

I forgot to ask if they sell stamps at Sunflower, so I go to the post office where they apparently don't have stamp machines anymore so you have to wait in line with all the folks mailing packages to purchase said stamps from a super helpful, and cheery post office worker (snicker, snicker). I walk in the door, shift left, then right on past the 2 people at the end of the counter bickering over what to do with their stuff, and get at the end of the line. Apparently the bickering people WERE in line because the lady gives me a look. Yep, THAT kind of look. The kind where you should be visiting me at the morgue right now because I'd be dead. She pushed the man down to be right behind me as they continued to discuss their papers and she continued to give me the stink eye. Whatever! PT and I move to stand right behind her. I consider letting him dance all over the counter and stomp on her stuff, but I take the high road. By the time we make it to second in line (only behind stink eye lady) one of the three post office workers decides to close her line. Now there are 2 workers and a line of people, nothing new. 5 minutes later, I walk out with my stamps in hand and letters deposited, while stink eye lady is still working out her problems.

"Bickit"

We've been wondering for months what "bickit" means. We've repeated it, questioned Payton, and looked around wondering. I FINALLY figured it out! He has said it in every room of the house, except the kitchen.

1. Yesterday morning Payton wakes up to nurse at 5:30, finishes, rolls over, "bickit" and falls asleep.
2. Last night I'm carrying him past the crib full of all kinds of stuff because he doesn't sleep there. He's just showered, points to the crib, "bickit", and we continue on to get dressed for bed. No cries or concerns over whatever bickit is.
3. He takes me to his bed to nurse this afternoon, looks under his bed, "bickit". He follows it up with a "oh no" and a "ah gone", shaking his hands because the bickit is all gone. He crawls up on the bed to nurse because milk is way more important that whatever this bickit thing is. (at this point I think I've figured it out but I'm distracted by something and forget to look under the bed)
4. I'm at the computer in the livingroom. He points, smiles (I kid you not!) and says "bickit". Yup, that's a bickit and it's exactly what I thought it was. There's more than one in this house and the one in his room is gone, best I can tell. It probably is under his bed.

What's YOUR guess?

Payton Speaks

Payton will repeat just about anything you say to him, ask him to say (if he's in the mood), or wish you never said and he never repeated. Most of the time it's stinkin' cute, but sometimes he can be a trouble maker. Here are a few of his best moments:

(of course, we all have names) "mom, mommy... dad, daddy... Tash, Tasha... Keya... Bee-y" my favorite are when he wants his sisters to do something or they aren't paying attention; "taaa-SHA!" and "Keee-YA!"

(repeating you, one word at a time) "I...wuf...mommy" he won't say "you", won't even try. He'll repeat any family member's name though.

(more affection) "hoe chew" with his arms up, dancing in front of you to pick you up. It's only sweet if it is followed by "hug", which is rarely.

(a few of his favorite foods) "peeza" was originally his word for all food. "oh-gurt" which he now just likes to get out and smear anywhere he can before I take it away. "eg" is his favorite breakfast food, he'll eat an entire serving of them at IKEA. "ap-oe" he's still mostly biting it to pieces and spitting out all the skin, but it entertains him for quite a while and is fairly easy to clean up. Sometimes he'll even spit the skin into my hand, lucky me! He has a word for ice cream but I can't figure it out yet.

(usually done while pointing his finger) "Bickit!" We have no idea what this means.

(any time the water is running) "showuh" He mostly likes to drink water from the shaving cream lid and doesn't like to get clean. Typical boy.

(while looking in a mirror) "paytin" SOOOOO CUTE! The first time he did this I squeezed him and teared a bit.

(when he was ready to leave) "mom...van...go"

(a declaration) "dun!" or "ah dun!"

(he agrees) "hoe-kay" usually said with a sweet little smile, a jump up, or a cute little run in the right direction. I like it especially when it is "hoe-kay, mommy".

(he doesn't agree) "NO!"

(he really doesn't agree) "NO-wAH!"

(polite manners) "tank oo" and "peas"

(to get under his sisters skin) "Nya nya nya nya naaah!" said with an awful face, hands on hips, shifting his weight back and forth. I'd get upset but he totally got this one from Tasha. Tasha gets really angry, almost cries, and screams "shut up" to him. This, of course, is what he wants.

(a variation of the above) "Nya, nya nya... shup!" This is him acknowledging that he's not going to make anyone upset but wishes that he could. I try hard not to laugh.

(he's now, officially, a Toy Story finatic) "Moo-ee?...Buzsh?" We watch one a day, fortunately there were 3 made. Again, he's cute, I just can't resist. I'm so in trouble with this little boy. I bought him a Buzz action figure and he lost it. We searched and searched. When we came back into the living room he kept saying "ar, ar, ar..." I thought he'd seen something on TV. Then it occured to me that he was asking me to check in his ear for it. Poor guy, mom doesn't find stuff in your ear to pull out, only dad does that. I held him close and almost cried.

(with a wave) "bye bye...balaLAla" see you later.

Here's to some even BETTER days...

The 13 year old girl on the left entered 8th grade today, after 3 hours of debate over her schedule.

The bear stayed home with Payton and I. The house was calm and quiet for 5 hours.

The 7 year old girl on the right entered 2nd grade and declared it, "AWESOME!"

So, raise your glass and "clink!"

Blah, blah, blah...

I bought a 4pk of Romantic Comedies at Target for $5. Bill was going to bed so I quizzed him on which one he absolutely wouldn't be watching so I could plug it in. Michelle Pfeiffer was in, as was "the Spiderman chick" (Kirsten Dunst), so I was down to 2 flicks: a PG with Hilary Duff and one with Freddie Prinze Jr. Yeah, I don't think Bill can handle Freddie, even if it has a bunch of supermodels in it.

You can plug an iPod shuffle directly into your stereo system if you have the appropriate jack. The jack costs $20, which makes birthday shopping for Kyra super easy this year. I'm glad the kid knew what she wanted.

I was trying to figure out why I knew the actor Paul Bettany. When it occurred to me what he had been in I explained it to Bill in this order: he was the naked guy, in that movie, you know- the naked guy, umm- with Heath Ledger, he yelled a lot. At this point Bill jumped in and saved me, knowing the movie and agreeing that he was "the naked guy" even though neither of us came up with the name of the flick.

I went to Changing Hands to purchase a gobbler game by Blue Orange. They didn't have anything by this company, even though Blue Orange said they were a retailer. Apparently Changing Hands traded up, or down. All their toys were by Melissa and Doug. I hate Melissa and Doug. Mostly because they didn't have my game.

Only in AZ would someone consider a lightening storm reason enough to gather their family into the hallway for protection. Yes, I know her, we laugh about it, and I love her anyway. Do we really consider monsoon season having "weather"?

Payton is now the kid who will repeat anything that you say. Watch out. You wouldn't want to be the one that taught him some inappropriate phrase now, would you?

We went to Kyra's meet the teacher night. First hour, good. Second hour, not-so-good. She is signed up to be in a Men's Chorus. It was just downhill from there. I'm sure I'll be spending an eternity down at the office tomorrow trying to straighten this out.

Is there anything better than chicken, hot sauce, and blue cheese?

Well, maybe this Caramelized Nut Trio from Trader Joes.

I just read that during menopause a woman's body will suck fat cells from her butt and move them to her stomach to make up for the lost fat created by missing estrogen. (or something like that) Seriously? It's not bad enough that our hormones go out of whack making us mental patients on most days, we now get a saggy butt and something much more than a "muffin top" to go with it. I don't think those are the kind of curves we really want.

I'm going to be 40. Not someday. THIS YEAR! It's awesome. I have an idea for a celebration, but am looking for alternative suggestion. Give it up folks!

I'm thinking of adopting a new motto: "Think Less. Do More. Live Simple."

Yup, you heard it here first: I'm going to try to stop thinking so much. Of course, that was several days ago and here I sit, blabbering my thoughts to a keyboard.

What are the Chances?

Kyra and I exited the Credit Union and walked to the car. I tried my key in the door and it wouldn't open. I jiggled it, I tried to lock then unlock it, because sometimes that helps, and I pulled it in and out repeatedly. Kyra was loosing patience and told me to jut toss her the keys. Yes, sometimes that helps. Sometimes the key only works on the passenger side door. She tried and tried and it still didn't work. I bammed on the window and yelled at the stupid car because that helps. She tossed the keys back and I tried again, to no avail. This is why I don't drive this dumb Nissan.

Then Kyra said, after peering in the window, "MOM! This isn't even our car!"

What are the chances of there being 2 faded maroon Nissan Sentras with chipping paint and missing hubcaps in the same parking lot with less than a dozen parking spaces?

A Forgotten Birthday Greeting

As most people know, I am really bad about remembering birthdays. Out of nowhere I texted a friend this afternoon...

Me: We haven't gone to a movie and summer break is over this weekend. Blah!
Friend: Where's my happy birthday?
Me: That was my intro :) wait for it...
Friend: K. Lol

it took a few minutes to have Tasha help me pick out all the cute faces to add to the text...
Me: HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! From (dude with glasses face) Bill, (laughing girl face) H, (winking gal face) Kyra, (chica with shades on) Tasha, and (winking dude face) Payton.

then it took a few more minutes to gather the family for the birthday greeting yell...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, from us!

Friend: It's very cute. Thank you. We are gonna swim at my parents house. After, are we going to a movie with hot guys in it?

Me: U asking me out 2 c hot guys on your birthday? I'm in:) tell me when and where.

So that's how we do impromtu birthdays around here. We had a good time and saw Ryan Gosling's hot, hot bod (not photoshopped). Wow, it could have been my birthday too!

Pirate PT

I was browsing older posts from last year, seeing how things were the same and different from last summer...

July 2011:

July 2010:

Same pirate shirt

Same shaved head

Same PT

(Interestingly observation, now that I look closely: Tasha is still wearing those same clothes as well. I guess my kids stopped growing last year. Except for their feet!)

An Hour of Peace

1. Go outside
2. Turn on the water
3. Fill up the holes with water
4. Get soaking wet so mom takes off your clothes
5. "Wash" clothes in water hole

This scene can be viewed in our backyard just about any given late afternoon. Usually it happens while I am fixing dinner. Sometimes it waits until after dinner. Other times it happens right after awakening from a nap or when I'm trying to leave without him for one reason or another.

I can not remember the last day that has gone by this summer when this boy has not ended up outside watering the lawn. He's going to make such a good landscaper someday.

My $17 Goodwill Bookshelf

Softcover:
The Kindness of Strangers (Katrina Kittle)
Call Me Hope (Gretchen Olson)
Peony In Love (Lisa See)
Sundays at Tiffangy's (James Patterson)
Tears of the Giraffe (Alexander McCall Smith)
girls' night out (Collection of female authors)
The Weight of Silence (Heather Gudenkauf)
Shopgirl (Steve Martin)
a childlike heart (Alan D. Wright)
Love Between Equals (Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.)
the 5 people you meet in heaven (Mitch Albom)

Hardcover:
tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
Another Season(Gene Stallings and Sally Cook)
White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
a complicated kindness (Miriam Toews)

Well, if you've read any of these or have an idea on where I should start, please give me a suggestion. I actually finished the 5 people you meet in heaven already, which is why I snatched up tuesdays with Morrie when I saw it today. I guess I found a new hobby: shopping for books I don't have time to read at Goodwill on halfprice day. If you're interested in any, you know where I live.

I have one of those old school photos of 2 kids walking away from the camera holding hands. The caption below states:

"It's not how others make us feel

that is important in life,

but rather how we make others feel."

I'm wondering how accurate this statement is. And, isn't it possible to hurt one person in order to help someone else? Does that justify the act? I imagine it's all just really in the intent, isn't it? But then again, even if your intent is good, you can't control how someone else feels. So, where does that leave us?

Ugh, shoes.

If someone would be so kind as to come to my house and throw out these shoes I would be very much in debt to you. They keep showing up. I've put them in the garbage, thrown them to the dog, placed them on top of high objects, and screamed not nice words at them. And yet, somehow, as I was lurking on Bill's facebook account this morning, I looked down at my child that was urging me with, "shoo, shoo, shoo" (to get going) and found these nasty things. The only thing they are good for are smashing roaches, which, I might add, we are 2 for 2 on this season. We've seen 2, smashed 2.

WW: Try Sharing a Bed with THIS Guy!

"bok bok"

.This is the noise I hear coming from the kitchen: "bok, bok...bok, bok". My son is making chicken noises in the kitchen and I have no idea why.

He comes into the livingroom with a squash that has a curly neck and a top that looks like a beak.

I'd take a picture but he later turned it into a gun, it broke, and I'm not showing the remains of a headless squash chicken.

Come on, be a little impressed that I had a squash in my house!

Is Ignorance Bliss?

It seems like the more I know about these things, the more I NEED to know about these things, thus making me work that much harder:

• school
• religion
• food additives
• healthcare
• politics

...the list goes on.

Really, life would be easier if I could just live in ignorance. I guess that's like living without a conscience though, isn't it? Ugh.

Finished!

There you have it- the first project I've finished in, well, I can't remember when. It's just a simple baby quilt I put together with fabrics that I had for a young women's project. I let Kyra lay out the pattern and then I promptly sewed 2 of the rows together in the wrong order so we had to rearrange the whole thing. The back is the brown polka dotted flannel fabric you see turned up at the bottom. It's an odd shape (more long than it is wide), so I might add another row or 2 to the width if I make another one, but then I would need more than a yard of the backing material. Now, although I didn't finish it by the time said baby was born, I did get it completed before she was blessed. Yeah me!

"Flawed"

Here's a great link if you have a few minutes. (Thanks, dear friend o' mine!)

"We can either feel terrible about our flaws or we can take a different route and embrace them. I might not have perfect ----s, but I am ME and no one can pull that off as well as I can."

I can't agree with this statement for all flaws, but I think there are a host of what some would consider flaws that fall into this category. To those people, and those flaws that just really don't matter... I say to heck with it all! Be yourself. Who knows, that flaw might just become your greatest asset.

A Scientist in the Making

Kyra was one of 2 7th grade students to receive the Science award at her school. Yeah, Kyra!

Me: Hey Kyra, I sent you an email today. It has some good links on stuff to do this summer.

K: Like places to go and stuff, or stuff to do online.

Me: Both. There are some sites you can visit and do educational stuff on. One teaches you the science and math behind softball and what hits a homerun, another is put out by NASA. I thought they would be good so your brain doesn't go dead this summer.

K: Cool.

Me: Also, I want you to look up what soy lecithin is.

K: What?

Me: Look up what soy lecithn is. It's in a lot of yummy stuff (as I'm looking at the ingredients on a delicious Utah Truffle that I'm eating). It says it's an emulsifier. That sounds scientific. Find out what an emulsifier is.

K: Why would I do that?

Me: Because you're the scientist in the family so you should find this stuff out.

K: But if it's bad for us you'll stop letting us eat candy.

Meanwhile... Payton is licking the chocolate off the underside of a Fiber One bar. I'm sure that's the part with all the soy lecithin in it, and not the part with any of the fiber. Now, the scientist in him is trying to determine how much licking and stickiness it will take to make that bar stick to the side of the leather ottoman. It's not working though, so he'll have to talk with his sister when she gets home from her last day of 7th grade... the last day at McKemy, ever.

As We're Sitting Waiting for Sunday School to Start...

Me: That guy is grouchy.

Bill: Who? Why?

Me: That guy in the front. He has always has a grouchy face.

Bill: He's probably been married 18 years.

(Thunk on the head)
Nice. Happy Anniversary! Has it really been that long? Geez.

18 Years...

Seriously, the only reason I know this song is from Glee, which I stopped watching after the first season was over. We have the first CD though, so the songs are still played frequently. After 18 years of marriage, this line from Gold Digger (hear Glee's version) makes me smile and want to recreate some lyrics. So here goes:

18 years, 18 years
She got three of yo kids, married for 18 years
I know he workin hard just to support all of his kids
His baby momma's at home takin care of the crib
You will see him watch TV Any Given weeknight
Playin with the kiddos dressed up like a white knight
She was spose to buy ya shorty drummer with ya money
She went to Home Depot got lumber with ya money
She usin plunger, called a plumber with ya money
Should go out a town for the SUMMER for ya moneeey
If you aint no punk holla We Want Vay-Kay!
WE WANT VAY-KAY!, Yeaah
It's something that you need to have
Cause when there ain't no school the kids make her nuts
18 years, 18 years
And after 18 years they ain't got in a rut

Who are the Awards for Anyway?

This is the first year that Kyra has been at a school that gives awards, rewards, and even grades for that matter. It's the first year that the word "honors" has come up. The first year that placement in classes has been an issue. Testing has been stressed, achievements have been noted, and goals were being set. Now, fortunately for us and Kyra, she has excelled in these areas and hasn't stressed out over any of it. Is that just who she is, is the work not hard, or does she rise to the challenge?

I went to the 7th grade Honors awards today and chased Payton around the gym and outside for an hour and a half. I was very impressed with the cheering and kind attitude most of the students had for one another and for their teachers. They were attentive and really seemed interested in what was going on. These were all the kids, not just the ones receiving awards. In fact, it seemed like most of the students getting awards were coming from one side of the gym and I was on the other. My side was doing all the cheering. It really was quite impressive. Even the final awards, the ones based on GPA, were receiving quite the applause. I say "even" because that is available to all students who work to receive the grades. The kids that didn't get the grades were proud of and cheered for their peers that succeeded. Would adults be that kind to one another? Would we cheer our neighbor without making excuses for our lack of success?

It got me to thinking... who are the awards for anyway? As they called Kyra's name, I was astonished at how successful she had become in one year at this school. I was proud. I started to look at the program and compare my child to the others, but then I stopped. The question I had to ask myself was, "Why now? This is who Kyra is, she didn't TRY to earn these awards, she just did. Why haven't you been this proud all along?" Why does it matter to me or anyone else how she compares to other students? But then the flip side is, shouldn't she get recognized for going above and beyond? If a teacher looks at all his or her students and selects one that has excelled over the past year, isn't it a good thing to reward them? And isn't a little healthy competition, well, healthy? But then again, if you didn't know you were competing, did you really earn the award? If you just did what you thought you should do, do you really need the reward? Should self-satisfaction and self-appraisal be enough? And isn't that the ultimate goal, being 'proud' of yourself? Really, just having confidence in yourself and your abilities, knowing you've done the best you can not based on what anyone else can do should be what we teach our children, shouldn't it?

I don't know the answers to all these questions. They are the ones swimming through my head as I weigh the options of school choices for the next several years. Ugh, when did being a parent become so difficult? That's the real question!

Thanks, Squidoo.com

Thank you for your Mothers Day 2011 page. I googled to find an idea to honor my mother and found just what I wanted. The odd thing is, I can't find it there again, just 5 minutes later. You must have a rotating set of ads on your right tool bar because there are now coupons for laundry soap where my great gift donation was. Ho-Hum.

The thing about Mother's Day and my mother is that I can't buy her gifts. It's not that she's picky or anything, she just honestly doesn't need anything. I can always get her a book that she will recycle back to me or get flowers or some such thing, but she really values our time more than our things. She wants a card, which I will send with a thoughtful handwritten note in it, but when she is out of town it's hard to know what to do.

So, what'd I find? Meals on Wheels Association of America. I made a cash donation in honor of my mother to feed hungry moms. There is meaning there because I used to deliver Meals on Wheels during my college years. I think I spent a morning once a week driving for about a year. That was my mom's influence, of course, to donate my time and energy to help others. I can't do the driving and time at this point in my life so what better way to honor than this? I'd hope that if she was some lonely old lady living alone somewhere that someone would feed her.

I love you, mom. Thanks for helping me become the person I am today. I hope I do you well.
Love,
H

Donate as little as $7 for one meal and print a lovely bouquet card for your mom at http://www.mealsformoms.org/

Not Even a Half of an Hour with the Sauers

No, not THOSE Sauers, the parents of THAT Sauer. (I'm going to talk in super secret code here so as not to divulge any names. If you don't know me or the people I know you will be completely lost.)

Upon her arrival home, Mama S. is on the phone talking the talk of a working woman. When she finally hangs up...

Mama: OK, I'm home now. (smooch, smooch) How are you?
Papa: You know, always busy. (or something like that)
Mama: There was a song on the radio today and I was sad because you weren't there to dance with me.
Papa: Oh, well, I'm sorry.
(More kiss, kiss, smooch, smooch)
Mama: I was on the freeway driving though so it wasn't the best time.
(I can't stop laughing. They know they amuse me.)
Me: Oh, that is so bloggable!

A few moments later, THAT Sauer takes a step over the gate to get to the door and his mom gripes about it. He forgot the fake sour cream (four cream) and needs it for J's dinner. Some talk ensues about when A will get home and when she rescheduled her flight for. There is also some discussion on what it's like to be in charge of the children 24/7, not getting a full 40 hours in and taking vacation time without getting a vacation (we played the silent violin for him), and something about bladder control. I don't follow all of this discussion because, as much as they amuse me, I'm trying to input some data here. All I hear is...

"Vagina, I have not."

I don't have to tell you who said it, do I?

An Afternoon with Bill

On the way to buy sunglasses:

Me: I don't know why you need sunglasses, those visor things the eye doctor gave you look pretty cool.
Bill: I'm sure they do. I'll tell you one nice thing about them though...I've been looking at your boobs this whole time and you didn't even know.
Me: Nice. That's why you want shades? To look at women's boobs?
Bill: Yeah. I keep getting slapped in the face for it.

While buying sunglasses:

Bill: How about these?
Me: They're ok, but a little small. Try these.
Bill: Huh, what do you think?
Me: Naw, you're not cool enough to pull those off.

After buying sunglasses:
(ok, this has nothing to do with the glasses, it's just after shopping)
Bill peels out of the drive thru area where we pick up Tasha and Justin. I yell at him to slow down, so he does... a lot. I give him the not-so-amused face and he speeds back up.

Me: I DARE you to go slow.

So he does. Really, really slow. I start to giggle. Then laugh. Then I can't laugh because it's too funny and nothing comes out. I'm sucking air at this point and the kids are wondering what's going on and why Bill is driving so slow. I seriously can't stop laughing and it hurts. We eventually get home.

Maybe you had to be there.

"Is that code for: get this lady in because she doesn't bring her son in enough?"

I've now seen my son sit perfectly still twice today. The first time was at the doctor's office while the doc examined the rash that spread from his leg to his tummy and pit over this last week. I waited for the dreaded news that he had the measles or was in the middle of a major allergic reaction to some food I had given him. Ugh, food allergies, the only thing I could think of this past week would have been eggs or dairy. But, the doc checked him out, as he sat perfectly still, and determined it was just a rash of unknown origin. Now, the second time he sat still was as his father rubbed the hydrocortisone cream all over that itchy rash. Sit, P.T., sit. Good boy.

The doctor pointed out that the last time I was in Payton was not walking yet. It's been that long? I don't remember. Dr. Curran has a great bedside mannor for both the kids and their parents. Including their negligent parents. You know, the ones that are supposed to come in for well visits, but don't. The ones that say they will come in every 4-6 months to get shots, but don't. He's a nice guy. He didn't yell at me. He did ask me to bring Payton in for his well visit and he added, "tell them up front we can see you anytime." I replied with, "Is that code for: 'get this lady in because she doesn't bring her son in enough'?" He laughed. He laughed hard at that. Even his med student laughed. I'm a riot, apparently. Then he said something about living in a commune and Payton was probably healthier for it. He's a good doc, with a good sense of humor, and I've never felt judged by him. I'm sure he'll be moving far away soon because that's just my luck.

NTS: All Ground Turkey is NOT Created Equal

You can pretty much tell when you buy ground turkey if it is super soft or more like ground beef. The problem comes when you plan on making burgers and you want to grill them. Seriously, if you can't mold it and put it on a plate, don't try to grill it. That just seems to make sense to me. This evening I could pretty much tell, as I flopped the turkey in the bowl, that there was no grilling these babies. Bill really wanted to, so he started the grill, but they never even made it out the door. I pretty much had to drop the sticky mess into the frying pan and hope for the best. And oh boy, were they the best.

I started with 2(ish) pounds of mushy ground turkey, added an egg and all the bread crumbs I had (maybe 1/2 a cup). I chopped up some fresh parsley I had from a weekend meal, added some fresh minced garlic, and a chopped green onion that I bought for a Cinco De Mayo meal on Thursday. Tasha wanted them plain, so I cooked 2 just like that. Then came the feta cheese. Mmm,mmm, feta cheese. I crumbled in a bunch (like a cup) of Greek Feta from Haji Baba's in Tempe. That's the place to buy feta- $3.99/lb and it's good stuff. I know. I'm Greek. I added a couple of these burgers to the pan while I cut up some kalamata olives. These stupid olives, if they weren't so good, would be on my never-buy-to-cook-with list. But they are yummy, so I spent the pan frying time cutting the meat of of these olives. The first 2 burgers came off, I flipped the ones with feta, added 2 more with just feta and then proceeded to add the kalamatas to the remaining mix. I ended up with 4 burgers with all the goods in it.

10 burgers total (leftovers, hooray!) and they were a hit! Deliciously juicy and tasty with a little Greek kick to it. I was surprised that Bill raved about them since he ruined my Greek Easter plans with a "I don't like lamb" comment. But, that's a whole other post in the making...

Freeze your Eyebrows

I attended a parenting Q and A panel last week where I thought I might just cringe at all the old school, by the book advice that was sent out. There was a little, but mostly I was refreshingly surprised and even picked up a good tip or two. The best thing I learned was "freeze your eyebrows". That just cracks me up, but makes so much sense. When your kids (or anyone, for that matter) are talking to you, freeze your eyebrows so as not to give away your immediate reaction. If you don't respond right away, you have time to formulate a coherent statement, gain a little composure, and even say a little prayer if you need to. No more shock value if your teenager wants to knock you to the floor with the latest scandal at school or in their life. Maybe I'll practice in a mirror since people typically know how I feel because it is written all over my face. I need to find a non-fake, sincere, non-contemplative, and loving look. Yeah, not gonna happen. Hmm, anyone got any better advice?

This Friday:

In case you can't read the details, here's the link: Concert for Japan

It's this Friday, the 29th at 7:30pm
Desert Foothills United Methodist Church
2156 E Liberty Lane, Phoenix 85048
(west of I10 between Chandler Blvd and Pecos)

An Easter Thought

There is a blog called "project mayhem" that I tune into when the subject and writing seems interesting enough. This evening I saw that this man gave an Easter Sermon and posted it on his blog. He starts off with Mel Gibson, Braveheart, and The Passion of the Christ. Interesting beginning, and I felt it was worth the whole read if you want to check it out here. But here are his words in conclusion that hit spot on as I think about what our life here on earth is all about; growing closer to Christ:

"As the cross shows—as Christ on the cross shows us—the true love of Christ is not always easy, and it is not always rewarded. It is a love that can make us vulnerable and uncomfortable. I do not believe that it necessarily requires us to put ourselves at risk as others have...In fact Apostle Paul warns us not to do more than we are safely able. However it does require us to extend our selves, to reach out, and to speak out in ways that may be new and uncomfortable.Just as the cross on Calvary points back to the life of Christ, it also points forward to the resurrection—in both the literal body of Christ (which announces or literal resurrection) and the figurative body of Christ, which calls for us to continue that which Christ was doing. Pilate and the Jewish elite thought that by ending Jesus’s life that they would end what he had started. His resurrection signified that they could not end it, and the growing body of Christ showed that they did not. It is for this reason that we are not asked to look upon the cross, but are called to take upon the cross as well. As Christ taught, “Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Mk 8:34)

On this Easter—and in every day—as we reflect upon the cross of Calvary. May we think about the sacrificial life of Jesus Christ and how we might join, follow, and emulate our Savior. As we rise up as the body of Christ, let us extend ourselves beyond our comfort zone to reach out to those who need some lifting up. Let us extend our love, help, and our means to the homeless, the mentally ill, and the struggling drug addicts. Let us open our hearts and friendships to the strangers and those who are different—to people of different faiths or no faith at all, to immigrants and persons of different races and nationalities, and to our gay, lesbian, and transgendered brothers and sisters. Let us forgive those who have hurt us and stand up for those who have been hurt.We are called to be saviors on mount Zion. We are called to not just be like Christ, but to be a Christ to others. So let us take up the cross and be saviors to those who are in need, for “whosoever doeth this shall be found at the right hand of God, for he shall know the name by which he is called; for he shall be called by the name of Christ” (Mosiah 5:9). "

Well, I couldn't have said it better myself, so I won't. I realize some of these things may be harder than others to do, but we all have to start somewhere. I have a hard time thinking about Christ's crucifixion without tears welling up in my eyes and heart, so I will continue to think about taking up the cross and helping those in need, reaching out, and being uncomfortable as I look for hope in the future and move forward with faith.

"share with you i "

Yoda was in my inbox today but he disguised himself as one of my friends. I got an email from a friend I don't see very often (I think it's been about a year now) and it read:

share with you i
Nice to see you again.
I help a friend introduced to (insert website here) Just click it and you will feel great.
Take good care of yourself and write often.

I replied with:

Hey ----. "I not thinking this was you" because you have much better grammar than what is contained in this email. I didn't clink on the link to feel great, but thought you should know someone hacked into your email address.
Hope your Easter is great!

The response I got:

Well, I try help friends with good links. I wouldn't click on it either and yes, it does look like I was hacked. I changed the password and refreshed all my antiviruses...sigh, the internet can be such a pain sometimes! Take care and have a wonderful Easter weekend!

All I can really say it that I didn't click on the link but I do feel really great. Bill, Kyra and I got a good laugh out of this. It's fun to have a 12 year old that appreciates bad grammar.

"Intaxication"

Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Shhh... don't tell...

Tax day is actually April 18th this year. Because of a government holiday we have 3 extra days to file. Even if today was tax day, you wouldn't have to pick up your taxes from your taxman if he efiled them for you. They've already been filed. Electronically. Hence the "e" in efile. There is no magic button that he pushes to grant your request once you pay him. Unfortunately he does not have that power. But don't tell. The 30+ people that rushed down to pick up their papers today will feel dumb. (Also don't tell the taxman that I'm posting this while on the clock waiting for a client to come in and pick up their already efiled taxes from 2 months ago.) Silly people.

Oh, Jimi... really?

Knowledge speaks,

but wisdom listens.

Jimi Hendrix

The funny thing is that I know people who speak with knowledge and then don't listen to themselves. That's the really odd thing. The people that know all the right things to say and then just don't do them. Odd, funny? Funny, ha-ha? Or just plain sad? I don't know. I try to listen to other people and then reflect on that before I speak. Sometimes I need to clarify or talk it out to make the most of something someone has said. I think maybe wisdom comes after you listen, reflect, learn, and act. I wouldn't know though.

The Best Fix

"I have seen what a laugh can do.

It can transform almost unbearable tears

into something bearable, even hopeful. ”

Bob Hope

May we all find a way to find more laughter in our lives. Almost all of my memories involve laughter, even those of my grandparents funerals. My relatives have a way of remembering the good and enjoying the lives of those around them. My poor grandfather was going to be without is wife of 50+ years and we were all gathered around in their home. He was going to miss her desperately, but having us all around enjoying one another helped. Grandpa wasn't able to laugh when we were, but I believe it helped to make things bearable for him.

The best way our family knows to get out of a battle of wits amongst ourselves is to break the tension with a laugh. More often than not, laughing at our absurdities helps us get over the anger. And let's face it, most of our battles are absurd and are based on stubborn pride. Pride that needs to be laughed out to bring it back down into perspective.