Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A Weeks Worth of Meals...

When a pregnant lady can't stand the sight, smell, or texture of raw meat or eggs... what does she serve for dinner?

Monday: Fry's frozen Chicken parmesean, spaghetti noodles, carrots w/ ranch.

Tuesday: Ikea frozen meatballs , cannery mashed potatoes, frozen green beans, turkey gravy.

Wednesday: Nachos (chips w/ cheese), beef/bean dip (I can each: shredded beef, refried beans, diced tomatoes), black olives.

Thursday: Something I can't remember, and a can of black olives.

Friday: (I went to Costco!) Mini chicken tacos. I wasn't eating 'cuz I had a piece of pizza that didn't settle, so all they got was tacos with sour cream. I ate a yummy turkey croissant sandwich later.

Canned black olives count as a vegetable, right?

Monday, April 27, 2009


Scott is a pumpkin. You have to look at all aspects of the pumpkin's life to understand the pumpkin. It begins by having a fairly long developing period, like 6 months. It takes Scott quite a long time to form a decision because he looks at all the research and all sides of things before he's certain about something. There are also several theories on how to grow the best pumpkin. While one grower may be searching for the biggest and best pumpkin, another might just want a plentiful harvest. The first grower will start a vine and then search out the best one on the vine. The grower will then sacrifice the rest of the pumpkins that don't show as much potential and focus entirely on that one pumpkin. This pumpkin will stick out in a crowd and be special. It has put in it's 10,000 hours of practice and has mastered the art of being a pumpkin. The second grower will be happy with several pumpkins that fit in just about any situation. They can easily be centerpieces at fall gatherings, carved for Halloween, or sliced up and cooked in a delicious pumpkin treat. While I like the grand pumpkins for their sheer impressive behavior, I think I tend to relate better to the latter, more socially accepted pumpkins. Now, at first thought, one might think that a pumpkin is hollow. This is just simply not true. The great thing about the pumpkin is that it is full of seeds of knowledge. Sometimes those seeds are easy to extract, other times you have to pull and tug at them. It might be related to how ripe the fruit is and how ready it is to share it's seeds. I'm not sure. And now, here's the icing on the pumpkin cake. (Which, by the way is a cream cheese frosting and my absolute FAVORITE cake in the whole world. Is it weird that I've been asking my mom for pumpkin birthday cake since I was like 9 years old?) The most ironic thing about Scott being a pumpkin is the thought of when pumpkins are most prevalent. Pumpkins really start making a show in October and flourish at Halloween and early November. Can anyone think of what else happens, say the first Tuesday in November, that might get Scott out in the world and sharing his seeds with us all? Yep, although Scott is always nourishing his political knowledge, it is most apparent during the early fall when the rest of the fruit is paying closer attention.

This is pretty funny...But you should know, that people only really care on November about every four years, perhaps every two for those folks who pay more attention to non-presidential elections...But I love it. -Scott


YIKES! It's been a week since I've posted.


I've been sick.

Really sick.

I'm still hacking up fur balls or whatever you want to call that flem that wakes me up at all hours of the night.

So sorry. There is more fruity wisdom on the way. I know some of you are still waiting, and I haven't forgotten you.

"Patience, Iago, patience!"

Monday, April 20, 2009


Jeanette is a tomato. Yes, a tomato is a fruit. Look it up. In fact, tomatoes are so sweet and delicious that I actually heard a dad offer a dish of cherry tomatoes to his son and say, "here, do you want some candy?" That's how sweet Jeanette is, we can offer her up like candy! Now what kind of tomato are we talking about here? I'm not sure. I think there are times when Jeanette has been all sorts of tomatoes. The most important thing to remember is that she is most comfortable on the vine. She is more at ease, and more herself when she is surrounded by those in her family. That may be her husband and kids, her mom or dad, or her brothers or sisters. It seems like, at least when I've been around her, you get the juiciest bit of tomato when the tomato has a life line on the vine with another tomato. Silliness, laughter, jokes, and mockery are abundant, especially when the male tomatoes are around. You won't find a tomato of any sort without it's skin on. That is just unheard of, and quite honestly, it's unattractive. Right under the skin is a bit of meaty goodness that gives the tomato it's body. And finally is the gushy center. Different tomatoes have different levels of juice and seeds in them, and this is why I say that Jeanette is many sorts of tomatoes. I think I've mostly seen the cherry tomato version of her. She's not too gushy and you just take her like she is, whole and solid. There have been a few times, one that I can remember for sure, that I have seen her burst into a Roma tomato and ooze a little bit of spirit onto all of us. That was really cool, and I love to see that side of her. My understanding of her younger years is that she used to be one of those really soft and plump tomatoes that would burst at just the slightest poke of the knife. That's cool, and I can definitely see that side of her wanting to come out sometimes. Unfortunately, in the ward that we live in, tomatoes get stifled by other crazy fruits that don't know what the heck they are doing. The tomato just hangs out in the background, waiting for things to calm down, and then does what it needs to do. I don't think I appreciate the tomato enough, but I will say this, I love tomatoes in many different ways! I do eat the cherry tomatoes like candy sometimes (Costco sells a great package just for this purpose). Romas are my favorite for salads and hamburgers. Some of the larger versions are delicious if you top them with mozzarella cheese and a little oregano. And The Claim Jumper has a delicious beefsteak tomato side dish that serves like 40 people. The versatile tomato is so fabulous and is found along side all Mexican food dishes. Salsa baby! You can't do it without the tomato and I can't live without salsa.

Jeanette said (and you can actually hear her voice saying this), "Helena,You picked it just right. You are right on, when you say that I am more myself when I am around my family, they are my security/my comfort zone. I knew that I would be a fruit that had a vine of some sort. I still have my moments when I will gush out,(especially when my dad has something to do with it) I just hold back more. Thanks for doing this I love it, it turned out great." See that, a little squeeze of tomato juice just came out. And what the heck?! Something is swelling up in my eyes as well. I thought onions did that, not tomatoes!

Saturday, April 18, 2009


(Sara chose purple as her commenting color...)

Sara is a banana. The banana is such an unusual fruit in texture, looks, and juiciness (can you classify it as "juicy"). It doesn't really seem to have a "core", per say, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. In fact, the way I see it, the core pretty much works it's way throughout the banana and you can't ever avoid it. Avoid is the wrong word though, because you wouldn't want to avoid the core of a banana, it's too good. I think the core of a banana is what makes the banana so unique and delicious. Without it, the banana would cease to exist and would just be mush. It's a good thing that the banana has such a strong core. Ya, ya, you're thinking that there is nothing super "strong" about a banana, but that's where you are wrong! The banana is super strong in spirit, and even when you remove it's skin it can hold it's shape like no body's business. In fact, this is the way you will see many children holding onto bananas: the banana will be completely peeled and they just take a big bite out of it. Sometimes this can get messy and the child will go a little crazy squishing the poor banana, but more often than not, the child will share the banana without even being asked. This is especially true with young toddlers and babies that are first beginning to eat solid foods. We always turn to the banana first because it is such a welcoming fruit! I do my best.:-) The peel of a banana is unique in the fruit family. It is this outer layer that really gives away what's going on inside that banana. You can tell, just by looking at it, where the soft spots of the banana are. Sometimes the peel is really thick and you know there is a strong fruit inside that will be able to withstand just about anything. You bet! Even a thick skinned banana can be cut with a butter knife though. You can slice it up nice and neatly, dividing it amongst many people, or sometimes you can even cut it in half and save the other half for later. The cut end will blacken a bit, but other than that, the rest should be OK if you get back to it soon enough. As a banana ripens, the skin gets thinner. I've never really experimented on what ripens a banana quickly because I am always fighting to keep my bananas from going bad. Maybe there is something in the air at my house because other people's bananas don't seem to go bad nearly as quick. I could be wrong though, and hope I am, because I really try to nurture those babies. You really have to watch it with the banana as the skin gets thinner and thinner. Bananas tend to bruise very easily and one tiny bruise can really lead to a mess inside. Yeah, I know I'm emotionally unstable sometimes. ;-) The inside can usually be salvaged, given a careful peeling and working around the damaged parts, but the banana is usually never the same again. This isn't a bad thing though, the banana learns from everything it runs into, and everything that runs into it. At the store you will see bananas clustered together in families and this is the way they like to be for the most part, they stick together with their own kind. Sometimes you will find a lone banana, away from it's family, trying to make it in the world alone. Yup, as much as I love those pears and apples and strawberries and mangoes, sometimes I just really want to be with my bunch. This banana needs the most attention from the other fruits and it's really cool about accepting help from them. Bring it on! It really makes the other fruits happy to hang out with the banana since the banana brings such a unique texture into the mix. Often times the other fruit will try to protect the banana from getting bruised or going black, but there is one thing the other fruit can't protect it from: the monkeys! Monkeys are so mean to bananas. They think they have the right to just grab a banana with both fists, break it in half, and then munch away at the remains. How rude! We're sorry, dear banana, that we can't just chase those monkeys away, but we rarely see them coming.

And even when we go black, you can still make something good out of us! Hale the banana. :-)
So true, my sweet banana, who doesn't like a little banana bread... maybe with some chocolate chips?!

Friday, April 17, 2009


Jennifer is a cranberry. Well, obviously more than one cranberry because you can't just have one, that would do you no good. So, I guess she's the whole plant! Here's how Wikipedia describes the cranberry: "Cranberries are low, creeping shrubs or vines... they have slender, wiry stems that are not thickly woody and have small evergreen leaves. The flowers are dark pink, with very distinct reflexed petals, leaving the style and stamens fully exposed and pointing forward. (The fruit) is initially white, but turns a deep red when fully ripe. It is edible, with an acidic taste that can overwhelm its sweetness." Now, I'm not saying that Jennifer is low and creepy (no way!), but I do like the wiry stem description that helps one picture the petite likeness that is Jennifer. Add to that the pretty flowers and multi-colored berries that are ever changing as the berries mature, and that is her in all her beauty! But why am I so focused on the appearance of the cranberry? Mainly because when you see a whole cranberry it is not being presented to eat. Whole cranberries are put out as decoration and they enhance the celebration of the season which is not a bad thing. Not many fruits can pull that off. The first time I was introduced to the cranberry was in the canned, sauce variety. What's up with that?! I'd see it once a year at Thanksgiving and people would just sluff it out of the can, with all the lines and groves still apparent, and then slice it. YICK! Sorry, but there is nothing appealing about canned cranberry sauce. So now I make my own cranberry sauce from fresh cranberries. You have to boil them, with a little water, and then I add as little sugar as possible. If you put too much sugar in, it takes away from the true taste of the cranberry and that's no good at all. If the cranberry has no spunk, then it's just another sweet dessert and I don't need any of that. Cranberry juice is another popular way to partake of the cranberry. Most of what you find at the store is a sweetened variety, and that's OK for most people. It is probably one of my favorite juices, when I drink juice, because it is not too sweet like apple and grape juice. But if you want a really healthy version of cranberry juice, try the unsweetened version. You have to look pretty hard to find it but it's worth the search. I'll warn you that it is not like any "juice" you normally drink because it is super tart and acidic. I usually water it down to about half and half with lots of ice and drink it through a straw. Unsweetened cranberry juice is really good for you and can help you have a very healthy liver. I think Jennifer would like that about the cranberry.

Jennifer said, "Helena, I have to laugh! I love it! One might even say I come off a little bit too strong by your description? That was good! And yes, I do want people to be very very healthy!" Yep, I think this is true and I'm glad she laughed about it. Healthy people laugh, we all should do it more often. She also came up with this assessment of herself, which I suggested might be her husband, John, as well. I think it's interesting that we see ourselves in our spouses sometimes. She agreed that it could be him. We're also going to understand that the term "ugli fruit" could also be "uniq fruit", I just don't like the stigma associated with the word 'ugly'.

Ugli fruit.This is a little known and less understood fruit. It was accidentally discovered in Jamaica, and the origin and makeup of the fruit are a bit mysterious. It is believed to be a cross-breed of two or three fruits: the grapefruit, the tangerine, and possibly even the orange.It is not a showy fruit by any means. It hides itself within a thick leafy bush. It can also be a bit of a chameleon, changing it's outward appearance especially as it grows and matures. But by and large, it's appearance can be, well,generic. Looking somewhat like a grapefruit, it actually tends to be a bit lumpy with blemishes, hence it's name. By this, people may not view the fruit as appealing, appetizing, edible, or even a fruit at all. It has a thick skin which bruises easily, but also can be easily peeled to reveal the fruit beneath. And those who eat the fruit are shocked at their initial experience which can be described as surprising, refreshing, and unique all at once. Sweeter than a grapefruit, but tarter than a tangerine, this near seedless fruit can be eaten a variety of ways. It can be cut in half and scooped with a spoon and eaten like a grapefruit (no added sugar necessary), or it can be peeled into sections like an orange. As one learns and experiences more of the ugli fruit, one learns that it's subtle complexity of flavor lends itself well to a variety of dishes from breakfasts to desserts, making it a very versatile fruit to work with indeed. It is also a very juicy fruit and juices well. One little squeeze produces a high yield for delicious thirst quenching. But the ugli fruit has a very short season, and if one does not act quickly, one loses out on the experience altogether.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Crystal and Jared

Crystal is a mango. I was intimidated by mangoes at first and it took me quite a long time to get up the courage to try one. I mean, look at a mango! It's not like any of the other fruits that you see in the store and they are not all over the place. There is only one variety, that I know of, but they all look so unique. They have a smooth skin that is so full of different colors. I think I tried one a long time ago but really didn't know how to pick one or go about eating it. I liked it OK and thought, "I really should have someone tell me what I'm doing wrong with this fruit here." Later, when Kyra started school, her music teacher wrote a song about mangoes. I wish I had a copy of it so everyone could hear how jazzy and cool it is. I just needed a reintroduction to the mango with a little hype around it to really get behind this piece of fruit. Her teacher even brought in a mango one day and I got a better idea of how to eat it. I carefully peeled off the skin with a knife, trying to preserve as much of the fruit as possible, and then sliced off a few pieces working my way down to the seed in the middle. Man, the flesh of that mango really clung to the core for dear life. I don't know if that is typical for mangoes in general, but it was for the 2 that I've encountered. The thing is, mangoes are tangy and juicy, and have a very unique flavor that you can usually spot, even when they are mixed into a fruity blend of flavors. Some people like the mango, some don't, but I love it! Don't ever try to bite into a mango without peeling it. That would be really, really bad! I'll be keeping mangoes on my shopping list and on my counter for a long time. I can't really imagine giving up my desire for mangoes!

Jared is a grapefruit. I like grapefruit, all kinds. I am particularly fond of the ruby red version. Grapefruits usually have pretty thick skin and not many people take the time or effort to peel them. Most people like to slice open a grapefruit, put a bunch of sugar on it, and scoop the flesh out with a spoon. I haven't done that since I was a kid. When you do it that way you have to squeeze the juice out and pour it into your mouth without spilling it all over the place. Usually you have to drink it right from the rind and that just leaves an icky taste on the corners of your mouth. Even now, as I remember that taste, I'm making a sour face. When I eat a grapefruit now, I peel it and eat it slice by slice, no sugar. It was weird at first, and I thought, "you can't eat a grapefruit like an orange, people will think you're crazy!" But that's the way I like them, and I don't care anymore. I've also gotten pretty good at peeling them without leaving too much of the pulp on the actual fruit. I can even tell, sometimes, before I even begin to peel it, if it is going to be particularly difficult to peel. It seems like grapefruit are in abundance during certain times of the year and everyone is giving them away. I take as much as people will give. I have no idea how to preserve grapefruit or I might try, just so I have some during the off season. I used to like grapefruit juice, until I started eating them whole. I don't know what that means. Jared pointed out that, "The grapefruit is a very unique fruit even amongst the citrus family. There really isn't a seedless variety, but depending on the type there can be more or less seeds. Most grapefruit trees are constantly evolving and one can find differences in fruit from different parts of the same tree." I've noticed that about the seeds, and about Jared. Sometimes he's full of them, other times he's not. I think he's also evolving as he gets smarter and meets more fruit! (A-ha-ha!)

Do mangoes and grapefruit mix? Apparently better than most people would think. They both have a tangy goodness that makes them unique. I even found 3 recipes that had the two fruits together, one of which included avocado. That was interesting to me, because at first I thought Jared might be an avocado. I changed my mind though, because some people don't even know that avocados are fruit, and Jared isn't THAT strange! You don't see many mangoes and grapefruits at parties, and you will never see a whole one! They tend to gravitate to other fruits that they know and then settle in. If they feel like they don't fit in they will leave with no worries. They are strong enough fruits to hold their own and go their own way, especially when they are together.

When I first told Crystal she was a mango she was confused because she doesn't even like mangoes. Does that mean something? I don't think so. But now she says, "I get now why I am a mango." And, "I especially like the part about the party. I agree with all of it. I do think Jared's a grapefruit too. Nice. I just want to point out that you are the avocado in this story. You're the only fruit that can hang out with both of us. So what else goes with them so I can figure out what Bill is?"

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Fruity Revelation

As the number of people requesting their fruity profile has increased, I have found the need to do a little fruit research. I'd forgotten how many "fruits" we really think of as vegetables because of their culinary properties. And, in reverse, there are a few vegetables that I thought were fruits because you bake them in pie. Such is life, and I haven't decided what I'm going to do with that information yet. My good friend, Wiki, also informed me that nuts are technically a fruit. Go figure! We're all NUTS! (I can't imagine anyone getting the honor of being labeled a pistachio or pecan anytime soon.)

I have also had a few people address the fact that I'm not an apple. So YOU say! This is true. I view myself as an apple and may not be the same fruit to everyone. So please, put in your two cents and email me your fruity profile if you wish. I'll compile it and post it at my leisure.

WW: Defining "Fruit"

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Monique I think you are a cutie orange. They are really sweet and delicious and you can eat them any time of the day or night. Unfortunately, I think they are very seasonal and I only recall being able to purchase them about twice a year. When this happens, I usually get a big bag of them at Costco and eat them until I make myself sick. (Well, I don't really get sick sick, but you know, I've had enough to last a while) If I don't eat them right away, I will forget about them and they will go bad. The worst thing is that you can't really tell when a cutie orange is bad. You have to peel it and taste it to find out there is no sweetness left. What's up with that? Why can't it give us any warning that it's not feeling well and needs some attention? Kids really like cutie oranges. Sometimes I think it is easier for a kid to peel them than adults because they are so little. Anyway, I enjoy those cuties when I can and sometimes forget about them when they aren't around. That makes me sad, when I think about it. Sorry.

I agree that I don't always share my emotions, so my peel can be a disguise for my true emotions. -From Mo!


(Jayelee's notes will appear in red)

Jaylee, you are a pear. Pears are fairly well known, like the apple, but are much more elegant. Pears fit in nicely at fancy dinners and like to get dressed up. Although you personally don't like chocolate (I like chocolate, I just don't prefer it as my drug of choice), pears can be drizzled with chocolate and make a very fancy dessert that way. Pears don't look it, but they are a little bit delicate so they often times keep away from fruit that they know won't be around for too long (that's awesome). Their subtle flavor allows them to blend nicely with just about any fruit though. This is especially true when it comes to juice. I find that there is pear juice in almost every juice blend at the store because it adds a particular sweetness that is needed by many other fruits. I've never had canned pears because it just doesn't sound appealing to me. It was only a few years ago that I started eating the real thing and that was during canning season. I found that I really needed to devote myself to getting to know the pear before I really appreciated it. That, and I needed to learn when it was ripe. You can't bite into a hard pear, it just won't taste very good. Because the pear and the apple look so much alike, I think the pear is misunderstood quite often (alas, the story of my life). People think they are going to get one thing, and get another without knowing what exactly to do with it. That's their loss, because pears are great, especially when you know what other flavors enhance them. My favorite dish has wilted spinach, chicken, pear jam and bleu cheese on top. That bleu cheese is so tangy and good that it just makes the pear delectable! Finally, there is the core of the pear. When you split a pear in half you might not get all the core out without losing some of the fruit. There is a stem portion that is on the top, more slender part of the fruit (ahh, slender, say more words like that), and then the pit sort of digs in deeper to the belly of the pear. It's a mess to get all of this out without the proper tool (hint: a bag of doritos and a girls night out also seems to work). I've used the tool, when I canned several boxes years ago, but it was a friend's tool. I do know what it looks like though and was quite skilled with it when I used it. I think that helps me understand the essence of the pear.

Monday, April 13, 2009

April and Ryan

April is a pineapple. Most people are familiar with the canned version and that's the way they like it. The canned version is pretty versatile, comes in rings, chunks, and a crushed version which is particularly tasty in desserts and jello salads that are acceptable at church gatherings. The canned version is delicious and is hassle free but sometimes gets a little tasteless and is almost anemic looking if left out at a salad bar for too long. I am a big fan of fresh pineapple. I used to be afraid of the fresh version. I mean, just look at it! Where do you start? It looks so complicated but at the same time so very appealing. Before I knew much about pineapple I used to try to cut it up and usually boggled it up pretty bad. Now, I'm pretty good at it. You just whack off the top and bottom and then carefully try to remove the outer skin. The thing is, if you cut off too much of the skin you lose some of the best part of the fruit. Because of this, I will usually leave some of the thorny parts of the skin and just deal with it. I don't mind some of the thorns, it just reminds me that without that outside hide protecting the fruit, the inside could never be so tasty. Then there is the core of the pineapple. It's tough. There really is nothing you can do with the core of a pineapple (that I know of) except compost it. Maybe there is something I don't know yet about the pineapple, but I do know that without that tough core, the pineapple could not exist. That sweet, scrumptious, juicy fresh pineapple. I'll never go back to the canned version, unless I am absolutely desperate! In fact, when the pineapple is in abundance, I've even canned my own, leaving a few thorns just to remind me of her beauty and uniqueness. Here's what April added: "I died laughing, you were right on and truthful although you left out my background. The fact that I started out whole and someone cut the whole bottom of me off leaving only the shallow, unsure, delicate top to recreate roots and grow deep in the good earth. I struggled, but I think I'm as close to whole as I'm going to be for a while." I think that this shows you how great this particular pineapple is. She started as just a top a grew into a whole tree on her own, capable of creating more pineapples of her own.

Now Ryan, he's a coconut. Is a coconut even a fruit? I'm not sure, just like I'm not sure about Ryan. I don't have a clue what to do with a fresh coconut but I think they're pretty cool. I mostly want to knock a fresh coconut around and see if I can do any damage to it, sometimes peeling some of those funny hairs off the outside. If I had the right tools, I might just drill a whole in the coconut and shake the juice out. That would be fun. After that I'd split the coconut in half and try to figure out how to get the flesh of the coconut out. I think it's pretty tough and takes a skilled artist, so I might not do such a good job. The thing about a coconut is that after all is said and done, a coconut can be a lot of fun. You are left with two halves that you can clomp together and chase your kid around the house pretending you are a horse and mimicking crazy movies. For now, I'm OK with the flaked version of coconut that I can purchase at the store. I prefer the unsweetened version though because I don't like the fakeness associated with the sweetened kind. I almost forgot the part about how tough a coconut is. Do they ever go bad? This is a Sauer trait, no? They never stop, don't need sleep, and can work forever... definitely a coconut. I bet all those Sauer coconuts are a lot of fun rolling around together, knocking each other around, trying to break each other open. Ryan added this to the assessment: "I think I still have the coconut flesh in the refrigerator from our lone coconut purchase, because I as well wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it. Intriguing if nothing else." Intriguing? Ya think? Even Ryan doesn't know what to do with himself!

The best thing about pineapple and coconut is how well they go together. I think they are 2 very tropical and misunderstood fruits, but they were definitely meant to be together. Like I said, I know much more about pineapple, but when you add some coconut to it, it is so much better. Sometimes, in social gatherings of couples, the pineapple is quite pathetic if the coconut is not around. It's kind of like that sad, anemic looking, canned pineapple you get at a hospital salad bar. No fun, and you feel sort of sorry for it. Anyway, I look forward to figuring out what to do with a coconut and think I can have a little fun in the process. I'll always love pineapple and hope to understand that core a little better.

Friendship is Like a Fruit Bowl!

I've always hated it when people refer to America as the "Melting Pot". They infer that people of different nationalities come here and lose a bit of themselves and just meld into what is known as America. I took a class at ASU where the teacher compared the America to a salad. I like this much better. In fact, she compared it to the salad you get at the Olive Garden. When the salad first comes to your table all the greens are on the bottom, the tomatoes are sectioned together, onions are in another section, there are a few olives and peperoncinis. Then they drizzle the delicious dressing over the top, but they don't mix it up. Now, you can dig right in and scoop some out if you want and it will be a great salad. You won't get the delicate blend of flavors all mixed together though, and you won't savor all of the tastes. Personally, it took me a while to appreciate the red onion, but now I love it. Our family usually asks for more olives, and I've even gotten Bill to eat the peppers on occasion. The croutons are just the icing on the cake!

But what does this have to do with friendship and fruit? I thought that it would make Rachel laugh because I'm pregnant and think about food all the time! Actually, I thought friendship was a little bit like that salad bowl, but I know a little bit more about fruit than I do vegetables. Fruits also have a core to them and I recently had a conversation with a friend about the core of people. She said something crazy like, "I'm afraid if you find out what my core is like, you won't like me anymore." Silly girl! I can usually see through the fleshy part of the fruit into some one's core before they are really want me to know what it's all about. Sometimes I'm surprised, but for the most part I'm usually right on. She was probably referring to the core of the universe or something, but like I said, I'm pregnant and think about food... A LOT.

So are you hungry yet? What in the heck am I talking about here? Well, I'm saying that I think I can assign all my friends to pieces of fruit, based on their personality and friendship traits. Bill thought I was crazy, but when I gave him an example he said, "wow, that was a lot deeper than I thought it would be." What can I say? I'm deep when it comes to my fruit. But not everyone would want to be compared to a piece of fruit, especially from my point of view. Here's an example, and I'll use myself as the guinea pig:

I'm an apple. Plain, simple, nothing too special, but most people like apples. There are many varieties of apples to fit my many different moods. In a social setting, apples are usually diced up and spread out. Rarely do you see a whole apple at a party. People eat apples in many different ways too, and that's OK with me. My least favorite way is the apple slicer though, that hurts. You just place that baby on top of me, push down, and throw out the core. That's harsh. The funny thing is, most of my close friends adore the apple slicer, including my husband. He keeps buying them and I keep "losing" them. Other people don't like the skin and carefully slice it off. Then they either slice it up, or eat it whole. Some people just take a bite and eat it whole, all the way down to the core. The funny thing about the core of an apple is sometimes you can get to the seeds pretty easily, other times the center is kind of hard and you don't want to mess with it. I think I'm like that. Personally, this is my favorite way to eat an apple: I slice it in half, then in quarters; then I carefully cut the core off the tasty flesh of the apple; sometimes the seeds fall out, sometimes I accidentally cut them in half, sometimes they just cling to the core; then I slice the quarters into 2 or 3 more pieces, depending on how long I want that apple to last and if I am sharing; I'll usually leave the quartered core on the cutting board until I'm done, but sometimes it will go right into the compost pile. This complicated apple slicing just goes to prove how high maintenance I am and Bill just said, "If I had known all this about you, I wouldn't have even gotten close." That's the funny thing about the apple: sometimes a slice or two will do, but when you're starving you might want the whole thing.

So, do you think you can take it?! Do you want to know what kind of fruit I think you are? The better I know you, the more juicy the details. (haha, a little fruit humor there) April, you were the easiest and you are going to DIE laughing! So leave me a comment and I'll try to email your fruit personality and see if you want me to post it. But remember, this fruity theory is based on how I know you.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

A Warped Sense of "EASY"

As typical "me" style, I have waited until the day before Easter to decide what I'm going to do. I had grand hopes this year of really doing the Christ centered Easter thing all week and then celebrating the traditional egg and bunny bit the week after (taking advantage of after the holiday sales!). In fact, last weekend, Kyra asked me, "mom, what are we going to do for Easter this year?" I answered quite reverently, "we're going to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." Seriously, I had high hopes.

But, I've felt rotten all week. I spent most of conference in bed, in a ball, with an icky nauseous feeling. I was able to get the Easter box out and put the stuffed bunny on the couch and the Spring pillow and wall hanging up. So here I am, it's Saturday, it's raining, and I'm trying to play catch up. As I was typing this my mom called and told me she got a couple of small baskets for the girls. YIPPEE for thoughtful moms!!! One mission accomplished and I only had to get up to answer the phone.

Anyway (the point of this post!), I was emptying my inbox of 263 unread messages, and saw a line that read, "Easy Easter Treats". I thought to myself, "PERFECT! That's exactly what I need, EASY!" I saw the following, very elegant looking dessert/fruity dishes:

Chocolate and raspberries, how can you go wrong?! It looks like there is some kind of smothery yummy frozen treat on the inside too. Yummy. And look at that, in the email it said "Difficulty level: Easy. Prep time: 18 min. Cook time: 21 min." Shoot, this will only take 30 minutes to do and look at how scrumptiously fabulous they look!

Excuse me! Anything that takes:
  • a food processor
  • a double boiler
  • an ice cream freezer
  • parchment paper
  • blowing up balloons and dipping them in chocolate
  • cooling chocolate to a certain temperature
  • deflating said balloon without popping it
  • shaving Dove chocolate singles

... can hardly be considered "easy", am I wrong?! Now, on second look, I notice that once you click on the website it does bump the difficulty level up to "moderate" and includes the extra 2 hours and 15 minutes of cooling and refrigerator time.

Needless to say, these Easter treats will not be making their way to our table any time soon. I'm now thinking the decoupaged blown eggs that Martha showed me a few days ago seem "simple"! I think maybe I'll hard boil some eggs today and we'll dip them in some dye, one color each, no crayons or wax, but maybe some stickers.
If you happen to have about half a day to devote to those raspberry/chocolate babies, feel free to chick here for the full recipe and instructions, and please bring me one!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Friday, April 3, 2009

Breakfast at IKEA

I used to go to IKEA for breakfast all the time. It was one of Tasha's favorite things to do because she could watch TV while she ate her potatoes and drank her chocolate milk. I haven't been in months. It is all April's fault. Yesterday she talked about eating pancakes and waffles and french toast for breakfast. YUM! I wanted them all. What really sounded good was IHOP and a big giant slice of french toast and a fluffy white buttermilk pancake with some sort of fruity syrup and then a thick waffle with strawberries and whip cream. But can you really order that? Do they have a carb plate? I know there are meat lovers omelets and veggie burgers, but really... give me everything made of white flour please? I don't think so.

So it's Friday and Tasha does not have preschool and she loves IKEA. I settle. They have lingonberry sauce for their very thin Swedish pancakes, yum. But please! Do you have to dump the sauce all over my potatoes too? I don't think so. I can't eat that. I eat everything on the plate except the potatoes that have been crapped on by the lingonberry fairy. Yuck. I actually took them back and asked for a side of potatoes. No problem.

Oh, sweet heavenly crispy potato butts... how I love thee, let me count the ways. And have I mentioned how delightful it is to share food with Tasha? She generally likes the opposite part of whatever I'm eating. She likes the middle of the lettuce, I like the green ends. I like the ends of the potato that gets crispy and have a little skin on them, she likes the middle that is soft and squishy. Does anyone see a trade in our future? You bet. "Tasha? Do you want to trade plates?" (As I show her a plate full of perfectly square middles.) She's game, and her plate came with 2 uneaten french toast sticks as well. I love that kid.

Chocolate milk, potatoes, and 3 slices of bacon is good enough for a 5 year old, right? We won't even discuss what I had, but the baby is happy.

Keepin' It Real

Here are some random conversations that pretty much sum up what life is like in our world...

Tasha: See my owie mom? (She shows me her knee)
Me: Yeah, I have one too. (I show her mine)
T: We need some band aids. (We've been out for weeks)
Me: I know, I keep forgetting to buy them.
T: Maybe I'll get some for my birthday tomorrow.
Oh, how very sad that my child wishes she will get band aids for her birthday. Shouldn't this be an essential in a home with small children? Lame mom. But then again, at least my kids aren't spoiled if this is what they are hoping for as a gift.

Kyra: Here Tasha, I bought you this brownie at our bake sale at school.
Tasha: Thanks Kyra!
K: Happy Birthday Tasha.
T: Thanks, this looks yummy.
K: It is. I had some. It was a little bigger before I gave it to you.
T: That's OK.
Nothing is sacred in our house, especially brownies. It's fair game to take a bite before you give it to the one you love.

Me: Tasha, you need to lick the bottom of that ice cream.
Tasha: That's what's great about moms. (Not her mom, moms in general)
Me: What?!
T: If a kid has an ice cream... and it is melting... and a mom sees it... she will tell us to lick it so it doesn't get all over.
Me: Well, I'm glad to be of service.
I think Tasha gets this from Kyra. Kyra likes to explain why things happen a certain way, even when one thing has nothing to do with another.

(The day Tasha is going to go spend the night at my moms house)
Tasha: Mom. Why do we still have Bomp's glasses?
Me: Because he left them here and we haven't seen him since then.
T: We-e-ell. (yes, it is exagerrated) The next time that me... or Kyra... goes to spend the night with Maggy (his lady friend that lives with him)... when we pack our stuff... we should make sure to put his glasses in our stuff so that he will have them again.
Somehow this conversation does not sound nearly as long as it took her to spell it out that day. I'm sure there were a lot more details that I am leaving out. That kid (and her sister for that matter) can go on, and on, and on about things that just make no sense to me until the very, very end. Typically, I don't make it to the end so I have no idea what point they were trying to make.

Tasha: Where are we going now?

Me: I think we'll go to the Lee's. But maybe we need to go home first.

T: No, let's just go there now.

Me: Why? I should put this stuff up and get some food.

T: Well, maybe Sister Lee will feed you. You like it when other people feed you.

Yes, yes I do like that. Apparently I've said that one too many times in front of her.

NTS: Pregnancy Cravings Won't Last

Just because hummus tastes great one day, doesn't mean that you will like it the next. Seriously, the (seemingly) gallon sized jar of hummus from Costco was not a good idea. It has sat in my fridge, untouched since Friday.

Beef one day, chicken the next. This seemed to be the pattern. Yesterday it was salami. Today it was eggs. What's going on?! Eggs made me want to puke all week long and today I've probably already downed 3-4. But then again, other people cooked me those eggs so maybe that was the difference.

Popeye's fried chicken. Thinking about it right now is repulsive, but I had 3 pieces for lunch on Tuesday. I'd take KFC in a heartbeat though. Umm, spicy, boneless hot wings, yum!

Also, if I'm thinking about an Arby's roast beef sandwich I need to get just that, nothing else. I can't decide that I need the one with lettuce and tomato on it because that would be healthier. I couldn't even eat 4 bites of the thing. Just give me beef on a bun please.

And finally... the sweet aroma of freshly ground succulent coffee. PLEASE, oh PLEASE, let this craving vanish. I LOVE the coffee isle of the grocery store. I LOVE Starbucks. I went there to use their WiFi the other day and my shirt smelled like coffee. When I got home, I took it off and just held it to my nose. Oh, sweet coffee, how I love your smell! If this one doesn't go away you may find me working at Starbucks.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Disconnection Never Felt So Good

I might not ever reconnect my Internet at my house. Public access is so much more fun. I think we all seclude ourselves in our homes and hide out, away from the world that has so much to offer. My day wouldn't be the same without:

  • The Chinese lady behind me rambling incoherently
  • The seemingly homeless man in his sweats and beanie, working on his laptop
  • The old lady that I made smile because I was laughing to myself about something on my way back to my computer
  • The conversation I overheard where a man was trying to convey to a salesperson (on the phone) that he could not say yes without talking to his wife first. He even went so far as to say, "listen, you're talking to the CEO here, but I can't make a move without getting the OK from the president."
  • The screaming baby
  • The occasional whiff of coffee coming from the Tempe Cafe. (This actually makes me want to go plug in at Starbucks

And, I'm thinking of starting to study German or Gaelic. They have multimedia available for checkout here. Maybe Arabic instead? I don't know, there's also the books on CD about the Clintons. Hmm, so much to offer here, so little time.