The Shack: Limiting Yourself

Bill and I were discussing why I thought he was a good teacher in Primary.  Oh shut up, we do talk and yes, sometimes I compliment him!  It took me a while to get there, but the bottom line was that I thought of this idea from The Shack about "limiting yourself".  Here's the quote:

“Remember that choosing to stay on the ground is a choice to facilitate a relationship; to honor it.  Mackenzie, you do this yourself.  You don’t play a game or color a picture with a child to show your superiority.  Rather, you choose to limit yourself so as to facilitate and honor that relationship.  You will even lose a competition to accomplish love.  It is not about winning and losing, but about love and respect.”  (pg 106)

Bill is really good about talking to the kids at their level.  Not eye level, or "on the ground", but at the level of their understanding.  We talked about how sometimes Kyra and I will push that to the next level and how that is good, but we have to be careful not to do that too much with Tasha. 

Last week, the girls had a fight because Tasha tends to "forget the rules" of a game when she loses too many times.  I understand how frustrated she could get, and at the same time I could see where her sister doesn't just want to let her win every time, she wants to challenge herself.  With this quote in mind, the argument seems pretty lame.  That's because I want them to have a relationship based on respect, but I'm not them and they are still young.

I think to "limit yourself" is to stop thinking/looking/feeling things from your perspective, and to start doing it from another's.  Some might call it empathy, but it doesn't even really have to go that far.  Say that you don't want to give a homeless person $5 outside of a fast food restaurant because you know the money would go further and be spent better at a grocery store.  But that's your broad perspective of what a person with a home, fridge, shelf, car, etc. has to work with and plan for.  What if you limit yourself and think that you really don't have any idea where you will be headed after your next meal, when you might eat next, who will be with you, if you have a place to sleep, etc.?  You're hungry and this is where you are.  You want to fulfill a need, one that maybe you haven't fulfilled in a long time. And maybe you stopped thinking long term or next day when you lost hope in that idea for whatever reason.  With that $5, you can spend a while indoors with air conditioning as a paying customer, get a meal and an ice cold drink that you can refill an take with you.

I'm having a hard time limiting myself as to where to stop the flow of ideas on this subject.  I think the main idea I want to come away with, especially when it comes to helping and serving others, is this:  the solution to their problem lies within themselves and how they are capable of handling it.  It doesn't matter what I would do because I'm not them.  It's my choice to help or not to help, serve or not to serve. 

Above is a picture of all the EXTRA computer paraphernalia I found on, under, behind, and viciously tangled around the computer desk and floor.

Below is a picture of everything that we actually need.

Like Father, Like Son

Payton is obsessed with Toy Story, but he won't watch the beginning of the second one. It's the one where Rex is playing the Buzz Lightyear video game. Now, who knows Bill well enough to know why Payton does not like this part?

A Thespian, however, Bill is not. Payton acted out one of the Toy Story 2 scenes at Sonic one day:

Fortunately he did not cause any traffic accidents.

We have this friend...

...who will remain nameless. He calls every Thursday because he has a long drive. He typically calls during dinner time, dinner prep time, or post dinner clean up time. It's inevitable and we usually don't answer the phone.

Last night he called Bill. Bill didn't answer.

Then he texted Bill. Bill did not reply.

Then he called me. I didn't answer.

Then he texted me. "will u have bill call me"

Then comes the confession, from Bill. "OK, here's the thing," Bill begins.

Oh brother, this is going to be good. I start to laugh immediately because only these 2 could come up with something that involves 2 calls, 2 texts, and an explanation to precede the actual event. I'm laughing, but Bill is still serious.

"Um," he continues. "(insert friend's name here) asked me to join a Fantasy Football league. They were short one person and they weren't going to be able to have a league." Like I care who does or does not get to play Fantasy Football. Oh brother, THAT's what this is about?

Bill's team name is "The Oneders". Site the reference and/or come up with a better Fantasy Football team name.

Ugh, shoes.

If someone would be so kind as to come to my house and throw out these shoes I would be very much in debt to you. They keep showing up. I've put them in the garbage, thrown them to the dog, placed them on top of high objects, and screamed not nice words at them. And yet, somehow, as I was lurking on Bill's facebook account this morning, I looked down at my child that was urging me with, "shoo, shoo, shoo" (to get going) and found these nasty things. The only thing they are good for are smashing roaches, which, I might add, we are 2 for 2 on this season. We've seen 2, smashed 2.

As We're Sitting Waiting for Sunday School to Start...

Me: That guy is grouchy.

Bill: Who? Why?

Me: That guy in the front. He has always has a grouchy face.

Bill: He's probably been married 18 years.

(Thunk on the head)
Nice. Happy Anniversary! Has it really been that long? Geez.

An Afternoon with Bill

On the way to buy sunglasses:

Me: I don't know why you need sunglasses, those visor things the eye doctor gave you look pretty cool.
Bill: I'm sure they do. I'll tell you one nice thing about them though...I've been looking at your boobs this whole time and you didn't even know.
Me: Nice. That's why you want shades? To look at women's boobs?
Bill: Yeah. I keep getting slapped in the face for it.

While buying sunglasses:

Bill: How about these?
Me: They're ok, but a little small. Try these.
Bill: Huh, what do you think?
Me: Naw, you're not cool enough to pull those off.

After buying sunglasses:
(ok, this has nothing to do with the glasses, it's just after shopping)
Bill peels out of the drive thru area where we pick up Tasha and Justin. I yell at him to slow down, so he does... a lot. I give him the not-so-amused face and he speeds back up.

Me: I DARE you to go slow.

So he does. Really, really slow. I start to giggle. Then laugh. Then I can't laugh because it's too funny and nothing comes out. I'm sucking air at this point and the kids are wondering what's going on and why Bill is driving so slow. I seriously can't stop laughing and it hurts. We eventually get home.

Maybe you had to be there.

How Did Bill Score THESE Tickets?

A couple of weeks ago Bill came home and told me he got us tickets to a Mercury game. Cool, I like women's basketball and you usually get to sit pretty close for a decent price. He said it was for all four of us if we could get my mom to watch Payton. OK, whatever, we'll figure it out when the time comes. He knew absolutely NO specifics, so I waited.

So Tuesday was the night. Kyra had to decide to miss her Honor Choir practice, and Tasha missed a softball practice. We debated not going, but went anyway. We got there REALLY early because he was told to get there by 6. There were a lot of people wearing Sun's orange, but I figured people just didn't have Mercury attire. I mean, they are women. Who buys sports attire to support a women's team, right? Anyway, Tasha has to pee really bad, so while Bill trots around the main lobby trying to find who to talk to about our tickets, a security guard sneaks us into the bathroom and waits patiently for us to come out.

Bill finds us. He's in shock. The Mercury's season doesn't start until the summer. We'll be seeing the Sun's play from BOX seats. What?

So, here is the box:

Where we sat and ate snacks:

And Tasha could do this:

So Bill and I could do this:


I'm glad we decided to go. And the Sun's even won!

Let the Texting Begin

I was listening to the radio and heard some crazy "report" that I had to share with Bill...

Me: If given the choice between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, a woman will always choose the later without regard to if there are men on base or not. :D 100.7 is so full of information!

Bill: regular season or playoffs?

A couple of days later as I'm sitting at DMS at the Michaelmas festival, about 10am...

Me: EVERYONE around me has tatoos!

Bill: at the biker bar already?

10 am in the morning...

Me: Too early for a hamburger?
Bill: Never!

While discussing the fact that I can't use our new internet explorer...

Me: Why have you not bookmarked stuff for me yet?
Bill: Because I don't visit the "Derek Morgan" website.
(and then, after some back and forth over our temple excursion tomorrow)
Bill: just for you....
http://derek.criminal-minds.net/

I love my husband.

"Ya Know, It's Exhausting Following Your Brain Sometimes"

Bill said that to me tonight. It isn't the first time he's said something like this. I believe the other time it was "do you ever think you over think things?" He said that as we were driving home one day and I was contemplating the placement of all the Walgreens in my life. They all seem to be on the southwest corners and that just doesn't suit me. It generally means a left hand turn out of the parking lot which is right by a corner. This is no easy task, especially in rush hour which is when I inevitably end up there. This doesn't make sense to me. Do the owners of Walgreens have something against other corners? The one Walgreens on the way to school is in the same location and if I went there on my way home then it would be a right hand turn out. The problem is, I don't usually need to go there on my way home from school and if I did I only have Payton with me and I'm lazy. I'm too lazy to get him out of the van and take him in for what will be a 2 minute shopping excursion. I like to leave the girls in the van with him, jump out, get my pharmacy needs, and hop back in the van. The weird thing is, now that I think about it, I don't even know what I go there for. Last year, if I couldn't find it at Walgreens, you didn't get it. The girls got a lot of fun notepads, pens, nail polish, etc. for their birthdays because that's all I could muster up. I literally shopped for Tasha's birthday present at 11pm the night before because I was sick prego. Now I'm over that, prescriptions can be picked up a the drive through, so I don't know what I would need from the inside. Maybe it's just that left hand turn picking up prescriptions that's getting me. Since the doctor is east of us, I would need to make a left to get into the parking lot, then a left to continue on home. When I go back I make a right into the drive thru, but then a left to get back home. See that, 3 lefts do make a right. Or something like that.

"Ya know, it's exhausting following your brain sometimes."

I don't know what he's talking about...

Ya, it Does.

Bill is still whining about no TV. Blah, blah, Suns. It's the first round of the playoffs. Those don't really count. I said, "one of 2 things are going to happen: 1) they win and they will continue to play and you can see it next week; 2) they lose and that's because they suck and you would be yelling at the TV anway. Either way, you don't need to watch it."

He responded with, "Just because you make sense doesn't mean you're right."

Ya, it does.

We're Done Having Children

And Bill will soon be having a procedure done to make sure it doesn't happen. That's what we call it around here. A "procedure". We don't use the V word because the boys don't like to hear it. Yes, when I say "the boys" I'm talking about those boys. The ones that Joey won't let go commando in another mans fatigues. Or was that on Seinfield? Either way, I think you get the point.

Bill didn't understand why he needed a consultation before the actual event. I said, "are you kidding me? There should be at least a 3 day waiting period, just like buying a gun." Shouldn't that be the way? Guns, abortion, vasectomy (the boys can't read), IUD's, immunizations... you should have to get all the information (pro's AND con's) and then think about and research the darn thing before having anything permanent or semi-permanent done. Don't ya think?

Turns out there is more like a 30 day waiting period.

Anyway, he comes home with his little pamphlet and a list of things to consider. He passes it across the dinner table to me, points and says "read this". It's the section titled, "What are the Benefits of a Vasectomy?" It says, and I quote:

You may find that the freedom from fear of producing an unwanted child will greatly improve the mutual enjoyment in your sexual relations. You may find that your desire for sexual expression becomes more spontaneous and more frequent.

Umm.









WOOHOO!!!

Why Bill Needs a Boy

Chatter around the water cooler at work...

Aaron: My son is only 2 and it's so fun to watch football with him. He just sits right up next to me (hand pats his leg affectionately) and will stay there for the whole thing.

Bill: Yeah, that's pretty nice.

Rex: My nephew is pretty cool too. He'll watch any sports with me. It's awesome.

(long pause)...

Bill: Ya know, the new Tinkerbell movie came out last week. It looks pretty good.

(awkward silence, followed by stifled laughter)

Answer: (Bill) Struck Out Lookin'

I've never been one to play stupid, not even for a man. It's just not in me to play the helpless female role and get rescued or schooled on a subject that I already know everything about. Seriously, doesn't that just make the other person feel stupid when they find out you already know what they are talking about? I would.

Every once in a while Bill will forget that I know stuff. Stuff about baseball and nuts and bolts, and other notsowomanly stuff. It cracks me up, and I call him on it. He was more careful about it when we were dating, and sometimes I can't believe that he forgets after so many years of marriage. I'll take some of that blame though, since I do feign ignorance when I don't feel like discussing something or going to the hardware store for one of his projects.

I just can't get into baseball season without going to a live baseball game. I love it when spring training comes around, but it's been years since I've actually gone to one of those games. Not good. It's especially not good for Bill when he's such a sports fanatic and loves to follow even the lamest of home teams because they are, in fact, our home team.

The regular season of baseball is almost over now. Playoffs start in October and I had/have no idea who is contending for the World Series. Bill and I were given tickets to the Diamondbacks game Tuesday night and had a blast. So much so that I really care about this stuff now. As we were sitting down, I asked Bill, "Am I going to know any of these players?" Of course not. They've traded all the good ones and my original DBacks players are retired. Can I name some of them now? You bet! I even have a favorite, the second baseman, Rusty Ryal, from Oklahoma. Go ahead, say his name out loud, it's fun. He had an awesome game and has a Dennis Quaid kind of smirky smile. I also know the first baseman (Allen), right fielder (Upton), and center fielder (Young). I'll tell you right now I'm not impressed with Young. (Long story, I'm sure Bill will rant about it on his blog.)

Enough about that, I've probably lost half my readers by now anyway. They think this post is about baseball, but it's not. It's really about my silly husband trying to school me, forgetting that I know stuff. Stuff about baseball.

There we are, about halfway through the game, just enjoying idle chit chat. That's the best part about attending a live baseball game...nothing to do but relax, enjoy the game, and enjoy the company of the person next to you. I really enjoy hanging out with Bill this way and we don't get to do it enough. Baseball takes a while so we have plenty of time to remember things we haven't had a chance to talk about, and he has plenty of time to stick his foot in his mouth. Like this incident after one of our guys strikes out at the plate...

Bill: Ooo, backwards 'k', not good.
Me: Nope.
Bill: That means he struck out looking.
Me: Really?
Bill: Yeah.
Me: Seriously? If you don't swing it's worse than if you do?
Bill: Yeah. You have to protect the plate when you have 2 strikes on you.
Me: Really? (the sarcasm gets a little thicker now)
Bill: Oh. (feeling a little sheepish)
Me: Yeah. (it finally dawned on him)
(we both laugh)
Me: Did you forget that we met playing softball?
Bill: Yeah.

Alright, the conversation probably wasn't THAT bad, but he was busted none the less. I further questioned him if it sucked that he couldn't teach me this stuff. You know, like would he prefer to have some ditsy blond next to him that he could explain baseball to and impress with his infinite wisdom on the subject? Fortunately he said, "no", and said he preferred to be able to talk intelligently with someone that knew what they were saying. We laughed that he had to get out the rule books while we were dating so he wouldn't look stupid when we watched our first World Series together. Awe, how sweet, huh?!

WW: What Does THIS mean... (lengthy answer tomorrow!)

"You curled your hair today..."

It was a statement, not a question. Bill and I went out to lunch today, and as we were finishing he said, "You curled your hair today..."

And just as I was about to smile and thank him for noticing, he followed it with:

"...either that or you went through a car wash with the window down."

Geez. Clearly this is no longer a compliment, right? I went to the bathroom (because that's what you do when you're pregnant) and then came back to clarify.

Me: What did you say? I went through the car wash?
Bill: With the window down.
Me: Right. Just checking.
Bill: Oh no, this clearly falls under the non-blogging clause.
Me: Not a chance! This conversation happened in a public setting, was not in the bedroom, and had nothing to do with bedroom antics. Clearly, bloggable.
Bill: Ya know, sometimes the jokes just aren't worth the price I'll have to pay later.

Of course, if I didn't think it was funny, I wouldn't have to post it. I just love this man, sarcastically rude comments and all.

My Husband is Such a Riot!

Bill went to the grocery store for me today, with the girls. We were desperate for food in this house, as we were eating up every last crumb in the fridge. (minus the stuff that had gotten moldy and gross during our hospital stint) I was in the shower when he got home and he was able to unload and put everything away before I was finished. (I like me a nice, long shower, what can I say?!) Some of the items on the grocery list Bill had deemed "Costco worthy", so he yelled through the door that he would be going to Costco next. OK, whatever floats your boat my dear!

I get out to find these flowers on the counter. Sweet, right? Yes, they are. Carnations are clearly the yummiest smelling flowers that there are and Bill knows that. I like to stick my nose in them and just soak up the aroma. I joke about nibbling the petals, just like I nibble my little kid's toes when they are fresh out of the shower. Sooo... along with the flowers is a note that reads, "DO NOT EAT!" Funny babe, really, really funny.

Happy Birthday, Babe!

I looked back to see what I had posted about Bill last year on his birthday. Turns out, I didn't. Good enough, that takes the pressure off, right? Well maybe, except that I used that little trick where I labeled my posts and I've made 13 birthday posts, for other people. That seems a little wrong so now I'm searching for ideas. I told Bill, over the computer that I've been ignoring him on for the last hour, that I didn't know what to write. First he said, "Happy Birthday" is enough. Then he said, "or you could write 45 ways that I rock your world." I'm choosing the latter, but I'm not sure this is what he meant by it.

45 Ways that Bill ROCKS my world

1. 
   
   
   He leaves his socks wherever he takes them off



2. 
   
   
   His shoes are big and I trip over them ALL the time



3. 
   
   
   He kisses the dog, on the mouth



4. 
   
   
   Soda. Need I say more?



5. 
   
   
   Receipts scattered throughout the house



6. 
   
   
   He really likes William Shatner and the show Boston Legal



7. 
   
   
   Trash on the counter, 2 feet from the garbage



8. 
   
   
   Recycling in the trash can



9. 
   
   
   Trash in the recycling can



10. 
    
    
    Overflowing trash can



11. 
    
    
    Overflowing recycling can



12. 
    
    
    He likes beef, a lot!



13. 
    
    
    Cold ravioli, straight from the can. EEEWW!



14. 
    
    
    Cantaloupe. Yick.



15. 
    
    
    He named his pancake griddle "Betty" (that's kind of cute, but...)



16. 
    
    
    He thinks Betty lives propped up behind the stove top instead on in the drawer.



17. 
    
    
    He listens to country music more than anything else now.



18. 
    
    
    He's got me listening to country music more than anything else now.



19. 
    
    
    Pillows on the floor, EVERY night



20. 
    
    
    Clothes by the side of his bed, EVERY night



21. 
    
    
    He paces when he talks on the phone



22. 
    
    
    Rocky



23. 
    
    
    Rocky II



24. 
    
    
    Rocky III



25. 
    
    
    Rocky IV



26. 
    
    
    Rocky V



27. 
    
    
    Rocky Balboa



28. 
    
    
    Rambo



29. 
    
    
    Rambo II



30. 
    
    
    Rambo III



31. 
    
    
    (How many Rambo's were there?)



32. 
    
    
    Groundhog Day



33. 
    
    
    Pretty Woman



34. 
    
    
    He leaves the TV on when he goes to bed



35. 
    
    
    The TV is inevitably on a sportscast of some sort



36. 
    
    
    Popsicle sticks strategically placed, NOT in the garbage



37. 
    
    
    He steals the fan from the living room when he goes to bed



38. 
    
    He taught and encourages the girls to burp, fart and make bodily noises of all kinds


39. 
    
    "Zoe,zoe,zoe,zoe,zoe,zoe, ZOEOEOEOEOE-EEEY!"


40. 
    
    Football watching


41. 
    
    Yelling at football playing


42. 
    
    Basketball watching


43. 
    
    Yelling at basketball playing


44. 
    
    Baseball watching (on TV)


45. 
    
    Yelling at baseball playing...

So why would I list all these things that make me crazy about Bill, on his birthday?

"Because, after a month of cataloging all his faults, I realized that none of it matters... and he sure can kiss" (name the movie!)

And let's face it, none of these are really faults. They are just the little things in life that make Bill who he is: the man I love, cherish, and adore. Happy Birthday, Babe!

"What'd ya do today?"

This is the question Bill asked as I sat down after I got home from the temple this evening. It sounds like an innocent question in writing, but his actual tone of voice was not so much inquisitive, but accusatory. What do I mean by this? Here's the rest of the conversation:

Me: I slept in, got dressed, went to the chiropractor. I checked and responded to some emails, checked in on Flo, then called Evelyn to report in. I finally got in the shower and made it to the temple around 5 or 6, now I'm home.
(short pause as I look at him and his stupid little smirk)
Me: Why?

Bill: Well, I was just wondering what you DID do.
Me: Uh, huh. What are you insinuating?
Bill: Well...

• You didn't do the laundry.
• You didn't unpack.
• You didn't make the bed.
• You didn't do the dishes.
• You didn't pick up the counter.
• You didn't touch the mail.
• You didn't vacuum the floors.
• You didn't make dinner.

Me: I wasn't even home for dinner!

It's important to note here that my kids are at my mom's house for the day and night. I just drove into town yesterday, have one day to myself, and have to drive up and back tomorrow to get them. Yes, I should have taken full advantage of this day without children and gotten a lot done, but I didn't. I relaxed. I turned on the radio. (Not the TV, the other thing that has Bill baffled.) I had a very loose timeline of places I had to be and I didn't stress out. I think my neck/back/trap muscle are all doing better because of all this. I took care of myself today.

But what else did I do?

I peed my pants laughing with Bill as he was saying all those things that I didn't do. It was freakin' hilarious and now I really do have to do the laundry. That's twice now, in one week, that I've had to get up and leave the room because he has me laughing so hard that I can't stop unless I'm out of his presence. I know, I know, we're a bunch of freaks over here, but we know how to have a good time. And, if laughter really IS the best medicine, Bill should be feeling better by morning and my aches will have disappeared as well. Here's hopin'!

Father's Day Trivia & Fun Facts

(This post is for Bill. Mr. Cut and Paste. I went against all my instincts, pushed back all the pride I had to rewrite and edit, and went straight to a website with a bunch of Father's day trivia. Here ya go babe.)

The idea of Father's Day was conceived in Spokane, Washington by Sonora Dodd while she listened to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909. Dodd (now known as "the mother of Father's Day") wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart, a widowed Civil War veteran who was left to raise his six children on a farm. The following year, June 19, 1910 was chosen for the first Father's Day celebration, proclaimed by Spokane's mayor because it was the month of William Smart's birth. Decades later, the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers was issued in 1966 when President Lyndon Johnson designated the third Sunday in June as Father's Day. Father's Day has been celebrated annually since 1972 when President Richard Nixon signed the public law that made it permanent.

Father's Day by the Numbers
This is a big day for the 66.3 million fathers in America.

Nearly 95 million Father’s Day cards were given last year in the United States, making Father’s Day the fourth-largest card-sending occasion.

Sons and daughters send 50 percent of the Father's Day card to their dads. Nearly 20 percent of Father’s Day cards are purchased by wives for their husbands. That leaves 30 percent of the cards which go to grandfathers, sons, brothers, uncles and “someone special.”

While not everyone in America is a fan of Father's Day, 72 percent of Americans plan to celebrate or acknowledge Father’s Day.

(While we will be part of the 72% acknowldeging Father's Day, our family did not account for either the 50% of daughters, nor the 20% of wives purchasing cards for the man in our life. See, I couldn't do it! I couldn't just paste without commenting! Geez.)

Gifts for Father's Day
Neckties are an old standby and lead the list of Father’s Day gifts. A good place to buy dad a tie or a shirt might be one of 9,189 men’s clothing stores around the country.

Other items high on the list of Father’s Day gifts include those items you may find in dad’s toolbox such as hammers, wrenches and screwdrivers. You could buy some of these items for dad at one of the nation’s 14,864 hardware stores or 5,795 home centers.Other traditional gifts for dad such as fishing rods and golf clubs make for a happy Father's Day for the 22,410 sporting goods stores in America.

More than 68 million Americans participated at a barbecue in the last year — it’s probably safe to assume many of these barbecues took place on Father’s Day.

(Tell me what YOU got your man this year!)

Mr. Mom
Mr. Mom is becoming a more common sight at parks across America with 147,000 estimated “stay-at-home” dads. These married fathers with children under 15 years old have remained out of the labor force for more than one year primarily so they can care for the family while their wives work outside the home. These fathers cared for 268,000 children under 15.

The dads seem to stay home more with younger children. Preschoolers claim 20 percent of fathers with employed wives who were the primary caregiver for their preschooler. In contrast, only 6 percent of fathers provided the most hours of care for their grade-school-aged child.

Many families split the responsibility of child care. Many Dad's (32%) with full time jobs regularly worked evening or night shifts and were the primary source of care for their preschoolers during their children’s mother’s working hours.

(While Bill does not stay home with the kids, he certainly has his role of Mr. Mom down. We've been through phases where I have worked and have had callings that take me away from the kids during his non-working hours. I have never had to worry that the girls would be well taken care of. I am very grateful to have such a man in my life.)

Happy Father's Day!!!