Silly PT

You just never know what will come out of your child's mouth.  Ever.  Sometimes you can figure out why they said it though.

Payton was trying to get Tasha to come over to him and was trying to be authorative with her.  He wanted her over there, dang it, and he was going to get her there.  He even has a forceful voice that he uses- not mean or yelling or whiny, just forceful and demanding.  I wasn't sure what he said at first, but then as it registered I chuckled and told Bill.

PT furrowed his brow, pointed to the ground, and said, "Tasha Thomas, get over here right now."

"Tasha Thomas"?  Oh, silly boy.  I'm still chuckling at your antics.  Sweet Payton, sweet PT, we love you.  But alas, when we've asked nicely and you're not listening, how many times have you heard, "Payton Thomas, get over here right now"?

Vocab at the D's home

I walked into the room as Bill was helping Kyra study for a vocabulary test she was having tomorrow. The room stunk, Bill had, well, passed gas. And the party had just started.

B: Unjulate
K: I don't know.
B: This was Larry's word. He said it on the golf course all the time. He would look at the course and say he didn't like the unjulation. He didn't like all the waves on the course.
K: OK
B: To move in a wavelike motion, smoothly.

B: aupicious
H: It's something your parents are not.
K: Oh, kay...
H: we're not favored by fortune or rich, we're not promised success.

K: Mom, how do you pronounce this word (assuage). Our teacher asked the class and a lot of people said "a sausage".
H: ah-sawj (That's how I'd write it anyway not like the dictionary puts it down)
B: assuage
H: it sounds like "massage"... think about that word
B: to make milder or less severe
H: see, when you massage someone it makes them hurt less (eventually)

B: ascertain
K: what?
B: ass-cer-tain
H: you make it sound like it has something to do with your ass
K: (laughs) it's not even spelt like that, dad
B: it means to find out definitely
H: well, we know for sure that the smell earlier came out of your ascertain

A Forgotten Birthday Greeting

As most people know, I am really bad about remembering birthdays. Out of nowhere I texted a friend this afternoon...

Me: We haven't gone to a movie and summer break is over this weekend. Blah!
Friend: Where's my happy birthday?
Me: That was my intro :) wait for it...
Friend: K. Lol

it took a few minutes to have Tasha help me pick out all the cute faces to add to the text...
Me: HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! From (dude with glasses face) Bill, (laughing girl face) H, (winking gal face) Kyra, (chica with shades on) Tasha, and (winking dude face) Payton.

then it took a few more minutes to gather the family for the birthday greeting yell...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, from us!

Friend: It's very cute. Thank you. We are gonna swim at my parents house. After, are we going to a movie with hot guys in it?

Me: U asking me out 2 c hot guys on your birthday? I'm in:) tell me when and where.

So that's how we do impromtu birthdays around here. We had a good time and saw Ryan Gosling's hot, hot bod (not photoshopped). Wow, it could have been my birthday too!

A Scientist in the Making

Kyra was one of 2 7th grade students to receive the Science award at her school. Yeah, Kyra!

Me: Hey Kyra, I sent you an email today. It has some good links on stuff to do this summer.

K: Like places to go and stuff, or stuff to do online.

Me: Both. There are some sites you can visit and do educational stuff on. One teaches you the science and math behind softball and what hits a homerun, another is put out by NASA. I thought they would be good so your brain doesn't go dead this summer.

K: Cool.

Me: Also, I want you to look up what soy lecithin is.

K: What?

Me: Look up what soy lecithn is. It's in a lot of yummy stuff (as I'm looking at the ingredients on a delicious Utah Truffle that I'm eating). It says it's an emulsifier. That sounds scientific. Find out what an emulsifier is.

K: Why would I do that?

Me: Because you're the scientist in the family so you should find this stuff out.

K: But if it's bad for us you'll stop letting us eat candy.

Meanwhile... Payton is licking the chocolate off the underside of a Fiber One bar. I'm sure that's the part with all the soy lecithin in it, and not the part with any of the fiber. Now, the scientist in him is trying to determine how much licking and stickiness it will take to make that bar stick to the side of the leather ottoman. It's not working though, so he'll have to talk with his sister when she gets home from her last day of 7th grade... the last day at McKemy, ever.

As We're Sitting Waiting for Sunday School to Start...

Me: That guy is grouchy.

Bill: Who? Why?

Me: That guy in the front. He has always has a grouchy face.

Bill: He's probably been married 18 years.

(Thunk on the head)
Nice. Happy Anniversary! Has it really been that long? Geez.

Not Even a Half of an Hour with the Sauers

No, not THOSE Sauers, the parents of THAT Sauer. (I'm going to talk in super secret code here so as not to divulge any names. If you don't know me or the people I know you will be completely lost.)

Upon her arrival home, Mama S. is on the phone talking the talk of a working woman. When she finally hangs up...

Mama: OK, I'm home now. (smooch, smooch) How are you?
Papa: You know, always busy. (or something like that)
Mama: There was a song on the radio today and I was sad because you weren't there to dance with me.
Papa: Oh, well, I'm sorry.
(More kiss, kiss, smooch, smooch)
Mama: I was on the freeway driving though so it wasn't the best time.
(I can't stop laughing. They know they amuse me.)
Me: Oh, that is so bloggable!

A few moments later, THAT Sauer takes a step over the gate to get to the door and his mom gripes about it. He forgot the fake sour cream (four cream) and needs it for J's dinner. Some talk ensues about when A will get home and when she rescheduled her flight for. There is also some discussion on what it's like to be in charge of the children 24/7, not getting a full 40 hours in and taking vacation time without getting a vacation (we played the silent violin for him), and something about bladder control. I don't follow all of this discussion because, as much as they amuse me, I'm trying to input some data here. All I hear is...

"Vagina, I have not."

I don't have to tell you who said it, do I?

Let the Texting Begin

I was listening to the radio and heard some crazy "report" that I had to share with Bill...

Me: If given the choice between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, a woman will always choose the later without regard to if there are men on base or not. :D 100.7 is so full of information!

Bill: regular season or playoffs?

A couple of days later as I'm sitting at DMS at the Michaelmas festival, about 10am...

Me: EVERYONE around me has tatoos!

Bill: at the biker bar already?

10 am in the morning...

Me: Too early for a hamburger?
Bill: Never!

While discussing the fact that I can't use our new internet explorer...

Me: Why have you not bookmarked stuff for me yet?
Bill: Because I don't visit the "Derek Morgan" website.
(and then, after some back and forth over our temple excursion tomorrow)
Bill: just for you....
http://derek.criminal-minds.net/

I love my husband.

Bill: I'm going to stop at the hardware store on the way home to get some oil for the cooler.

H: OK. Can you get a handle for the toilet too?

Bill: Are you sure it's broken?

H: No, but it's about to break.

Bill: Are you sure it's not just loose?

H: Um...I don't know. Can you tighten handles?

Bill: Well, I can if I know it's loose.

H: Well, how did you know it wasn't broken?

PT "Eating" an Apple

I sent Bill this picture on his phone and told him to look at the mess is son was making.The following text conversation ensued:

Bill: messy Payton...did you yell at him? no
H: I can't use that word with him!
Bill: u cant say no?
H: only to you :p
Bill: ouch
H: I think PT just ate dog food...
Bill: is he barking? or just scooting across the floor wiping his butt?
H: the later.


Well, whatever. Payton just left little apple deposits all across the living room floor.

Bill: (as we were driving down Mill Ave) Do all men have to run without their shirts off in Downtown Tempe?

Me: No, just the hot ones.

Bill: Hot, hot? Or ones with enormous pecks?

Me: Ones with enormous pecks.

Bill: Nice. Glad you noticed.

(What can I say? They were hard not to notice!)

Ya, it Does.

Bill is still whining about no TV. Blah, blah, Suns. It's the first round of the playoffs. Those don't really count. I said, "one of 2 things are going to happen: 1) they win and they will continue to play and you can see it next week; 2) they lose and that's because they suck and you would be yelling at the TV anway. Either way, you don't need to watch it."

He responded with, "Just because you make sense doesn't mean you're right."

Ya, it does.

Media Free Week Starts TOMORROW

Yep. National media free week begins Monday April 19th and lasts through the following Sunday April 25th. I announced this to my family this afternoon over lunch. Here were their individual responses...

Tasha: FINALLY!!! I've been waiting and waiting to spend some time with my family. (I think her school has done some prompting on this)

Kyra: Cool. (I don't think she really thinks it's going to be cool)

Bill: Kyra, quick, go turn on the TV, radio, and log onto something on the computer. If we're going to be without then we better load up right now. (Always supportive)

I thought they took the news fairly well and I'm glad I didn't give them any warning. They probably would have spent all day yesterday plopped in front of the TV looking like zombies. Personally, I figure I have a few blog posts to get in before I give it up tomorrow. (more like 20 if I go by what someone at church recommended) Anyway, as I sat down to type and the girls left the room Bill fessed up...

Bill: (questioning) This media free business is null and void after 8pm, right?
Me: Nope.
Bill: (stating) OK, this media free business is null and void after 8pm.

About 5 minutes later...

Bill: Ya know this is the playoffs right? The Suns are in the playoffs.

Hmm. I guess you'll hear in a week how it went. But for now I have several more posts a brewin'...

Earth Hour, 2010

I wrote my post about Earth Hour last night and set the options to put in on my blog this morning so I could say, "tonight..." Well, I forgot. I had not been on the computer all day and it didn't even enter my mind. I plopped down in the living room, booted up the laptop, and had a great post in my head reflecting on the Young Women's broadcast that I had attended earlier this evening. The Google homepage came up and there it was, "Help the world. Turn off your lights tonight."




"Aaah!" I scream. I glance down to the little timestamp at the bottom of the screen. 8:30, exactly. Really? I look again. Yep, it's 8:30 on the nose. "Babe, turn off the TV and the lights. We'll play Canasta by candlelight."



And do you know what? He did it. I closed the laptop up before it could hit 8:31, Bill turned off the TV and started making the rounds on the lights (including the festive Ikea leds that have been burning since Christmas 2008), and I pulled out the candles. Kyra got irritated when she had to stop reading, so Bill decided a bit later to let her get out of bed and play cards with us.

Before Kyra came out Bill made several observations.
Bill: Really? Cards by candlelight? I can hardly read them as it is.
H: Sorry, babe.
Bill: If we had planned this better we could be doing something better...
H: (Since Kyra was still up and Payton had just fallen asleep on our bed) Well, we could make it Earth 2 hours and keep the lights out later.
Bill: You sure have your hopes up.
H: Maybe even Earth 3 hours then.
Bill: OK. We'll play cards for 2 hours and 45 minutes then.
H: Nice.
Bill: (after dealing the cards and adjusting the candle lights) Ya know, all we really need now are some mallows...

Happy Earth Hour everyone! What'd you do?

More Random Conversations

April gave me a shirt for Payton because "every little boy needs a Hawiaan shirt". I put it in the van...

Tasha: Can I see the shirt so I can show it to Payton?
Me: Sure. (give her the shirt)
Tasha: It's so cute. Do you like it buddy? (showing it to Payton, then taking it back)
Tasha: Oh, it smells like Tyler's skin.

The dress code at DMS is that the children are not allowed to wear shirts with words on them, or logos, etc. Patterns are fine as long as they are all over and not just one big image. The exception to this is the shirts they get when they go on class trips and events. Today was one such day as Kyra wore her Medieval games shirts...

Bill: Do you see that shirt?
Me: Yeah.
Bill: He's killing that man.
Me: So.
Bill: He's stabbing him in the chest with a sword.
Me: I know.
Bill: They can't wear a shirt with a Nike swoosh on it, but they can wear a shirt depicting a man dying in the most grusome way possible?
Me: Yep.
Kyra: What?
Bill: It's just not right.
Kyra: My pentathalon shirt has a picture of a naked guy on it...
Me: AWESOME!


As we're loading up cars and getting ready to leave for a mutual activity...

YW #1: Bro F has the good music.
YW #2: Yeah, he does.
YW #1: All the girls in Bro F's car!
Bro F: Wow. This is completely the opposite of what it was like in high school.

I was in the kitchen and Tasha had strategically crammed her body in between an ottoman and the the wall. Her dad and sister are not very helpful. This is what I hear...

Tasha: Help.
Kyra: Dad, I think Tasha needs your help. She can't move.
Bill: What? Tasha is still?! Now, if we could just figure out something to keep her quiet.
Kyra: Duct tape.

This morning. Bill is taking breakfast orders and cooking. Kyra and I are eating. Tasha is searching the kitchen for something. Next thing I know Tasha is standing on the countertop in her saggy pajama bottoms and sweater from last night because she was too tired to change, reaching to the very top shelf of the cupboard for a Christmas glass because it was pretty.

Me: Why is Tasha standing on the counter?
Bill: Because she's a expert at overcoming limitations.

More on breakfast...

Tasha: Can I have french toast?
Bill: Yes.
Me: I didn't know we could have french toast.
Bill: I asked what you wanted.
Me: I didn't know it was on the menu.
(he made it as I was typing...)
Bill: Now, do we have powdered sugar?
Me: Yeah. Maybe. I think. Probably not.

But we did, so now I'm going to have some french toast. Have a good Saturday everyone!

The Least Expensive Date He'll Ever Have!

Bill: Tasha, will you go on a date with me Friday?
T: Sure.
B: Don't act so excited.
T: I can't go on a date with you.
B: Sure you can. It's a daddy-daughter date.
T: Oh, OK.
B: You're right though, you can't really date for another 25 years or so.
T: OK.
B: Where do you want to go?
T: Taco Bell.

Awesome!

The Mormon Mojo

Me: Go ahead, ask me.
Bill: What?
Me: Ask the question.
Bill: How was mutual?
Me: The youth rock!
Bill: What did you do?
Me: We read Alma Chapter 5...

Yep, the youth rock and all we did was read scriptures to work on a virtue value experience. And if you don't know Alma 5, it's long. Alma rambles and we were trying to decipher all his questions. Geez. As we wrote down several of the questions I was trying to make sure the girls wrote them in a way that they could understand and answer them.

Verse 14 "...Have ye received his image in your countenances?"

Allie: What's a countenance?
All the leaders: Umm, well... (looking to each other for guidance)
Evelyn: Sort of like the way you behave and how people see you.
Me: Kind of like your demeanor.
Evelyn: Yeah.
Allie: Your mojo?
(lots of laughter)
Me: Yeah, your mojo!
(Allie writes: Do you have His image in your mojo?)
Ashley: Don't write that!
Evelyn: Why not?! (She crosses off countenance on her own paper and writes in mojo.)

AWESOME!!!

I think my mojo has been missing for a while, but I'm getting it back. I think my Mormon mojo is going to be the first to resurface. Hopefully the rest will follow suit...

A Conversation You Won't Hear in the Sauer House

Tasha yells to Kyra as she is walking past her bedroom door down the hallway,
"Aaah, I hurt my penis!"

Kyra, exasperated, "You don't HAVE a penis!"

Tasha argues back, "Yes I do!"

Kyra, sort of chuckling in a duh kind of tone, "NO, ya don't."

Tasha gives in, "Oh yeah, I don't. I have a vuh-JIE-nuh!"

I'm still laughing. Who raised these girls?

Oh Where, Is My Hairbrush?

Tasha comes bouncing in the kitchen this morning with her hairbrush and declares, "look, I found my brush!" This is after both girls had decided that they left their brushes in California. This is also after I unpacked the suitcase that they had put said hairbrushes in the very day that we got back. Where did I put the brushes? Where they belong, of course. Why did it take her 5 days to find her brush? Nobody knows, but Sunday I had to tell Kyra the whereabouts of her hairbrush as well. Anyway, this was a funny morning conversation...

"Look, I found my brush" Tasha declares to Kyra.
"No you didn't. I did! It was in the suitcase that you packed it in." I butt in.
"Really?" Tasha asks.
"Yes. You and Kyra both 'lost' your brushes right where you put them. I found them and put them up right where you keep them," I reply in a kind and jovial manner.
Silence from both girls.
"Dorks!" I add for good measure.
Giggles.
"We're dorks and dad and Brother Lee are suckers," Kyra says.
What? What is she talking about? How did those guys get involved in this conversation?
"What are you talking about?" I inquire.
"You said they were suckers," she answers.
"No I didn't. When? What are you talking about?" I'm seriously confused, but it's still early and I'm not quite awake yet.
"When we were at Disneyland and they were buying us each a stuffed animal. You said they were suckers," Kyra recalls from that perfect memory of hers that only seems to work when it comes back to bite me in the butt.
"Yes. Yes, I did call them suckers. They are and you two are dorks."
More giggles.

Mary's Boy Child

Mary's Boy Child is my favorite Christmas song this season. There is a version on the radio that I like, but I have a CD that my friend gave me that has Harry Connick Jr. singing it. Who doesn't like a little Harry? When I googled it I found out that Harry Belafonte was the first to record it. I don't like his version at all, it's way too slow. I like to have a little reggae feel to this song.

Here's a youtube version of it if you don't know what song I'm talking about. I think this is the version from the radio, although it sounds much better in my van.

I was singing it with Kyra on the way home this evening and here's where our conversation went:

Me: Ya know, that's not really true. The song says, "man will live forever more, because of Christmas day."
Kyra: What?
Me: Well, Easter and the resurrection is really what makes it possible for us to live again, right?
Kyra: Right. But we couldn't have Easter without Christmas.
(Smarty!)
Me: All right. But which came first the chicken or the egg?
Kyra: The egg.
Me: Where did the egg come from?
Kyra: A chicken.

I'm just sayin'... not even an 11 year old has all the answers.

Can't Touch This

Yesterday, on the way to school, I had a talk with my girls. A song had been playing on the radio and I was singing along with it. I realized that I could only sing about every other line and that I had absolutely NO IDEA what the song or the chorus was about. I really liked this song, remembered it from when I was young(er), and honestly can't tell you what the name of it was. This is when I turned it off and told my girls...

"OK girls, I'm going to clue you into something and you need to listen carefully because this will save you a lot of arguing and heartache in the future. When you grown up you are going to listen to music that I don't like. I will probably hate it and give you a hard time about it and tell you that it is no good. I will listen to the lyrics and tell you that it is no good and that you can't listen to it. That's when you need to tell me, 'mom, it's not all about the words'. I was singing this song and I have no idea what it's about. I like the group that's singing and I like the beat, but I don't have a clue as to what the words mean. Do you understand?"

I'm mostly talking to Kyra since she is older and sitting in the front seat. I can't see Tasha because she's behind me and messing with Payton. As soon as I said, "when you grown up..." Kyra got a smile on her face because apparently I do this sort of thing often. She told me she understood and giggled. I sort of half turned to Tasha and said, "Tash, got it?" To which she replied with a "got it." I'm sure she had no clue what I was talking about and probably wasn't even listening.

That was yesterday.

Today was a new day. Right as I started the van this morning there was a good beat playing so I turned the radio up. It was "Super Freak". I hear this:

"Buh-nuh-nuh-nuh...nuh-nuh...nuh-nuh" (from the speakers)

"Can't touch this." (from my 11 year old)

Kyra was right on cue with the lyrics and I just busted out laughing. How does she know this song? Is this appropriate for an 11 year old? Again, I have no idea what this song is about but something tells me that a super freak song isn't very wholesome, ya know? I guess she learned it at Kids Kamp. Fine, whatever. We back out of the driveway, almost run over some neighbors walking their dog because I'm still laughing, and head off to pick up more kids for school. I'm singing along to the song and we stop at the light on Broadway.

Then Tasha pipes in with, "mom, it's not all about the words."

Whoops, I guess she was listening. We're gonna have to be careful what we say around this 5 year old.