Friday, January 29, 2010
One is full of whites that I just took out of the dryer this morning.
The other is in Kyra's room.
With about 4 items in it.
It's been there for days.
WHY CAN THIS CHILD NOT PUT UP HER CLOTHES!?!
Yesterday morning I nursed Payton in the van before I went into Einstein's to meet a friend. While nursing, he pooed. He pooed a great poo and after he finished I lifted him up to see a nice little yellow spot about the size of a quarter on my jeans. Really? The velocity at which this child shoots out the poo is amazing! That diaper was not full when he shot it straight in and up the back, onto his WHITE onsie and onto my pants. Jerk. Good thing I had a spare change of clothes... for him. I got to meet my friend with poo stained clothes. Yay me.
Payton pooed 4 times this morning before 10am! Only one of them made it out of the diaper and onto his jammies. Maybe the Huggies are working better than the size 3 generic brand.
I bought new sheets today at Ikea. Navy Blue to hide the poo. (Wasn't that a cute little rhyme there?)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Friday or Saturday would be fine :)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
- The number of times I've washed any part of the bedding today. It's early yet, I'm sure that number will increase or I will save it until tomorrow.
- The number of outfits that Payton wears on any given day before I give up and leave him in just a diaper.
- The number of times Bill came home to a stripped bed last week and complained, "again?!" Like I enjoy the poo mess, taking off the sheet, washing it, drying it, and then making the bed back up. I'll give him some credit though, he did put the sheet on at least one, if not two of those occasions.
- The number of soiled clothing items currently on our bathroom sink. They've been rinsed out, soaped up, and are in a state of semi-dryness waiting to be tossed in to the laundry.
- The number of non-clothing items I can name that Payton has pooed on. Sheets, comforters, slings, spit up cloths, and multiple blankets.
- The minimum number of poos in a day. This does, however, beat the alternative- one great poo that just seems to keep going and going and going, just like the Energizer bunny.
- The minimum number of times I smile and laugh and complain to Payton, about his poo, in any given week. We have a discussion at least once a day in regards to his poo. He just smiles at me as if to say, "Ma! Everybody poos." I know, I know, but everybody doesn't poo all over everything. It's a good thing that he says it with a great deal of charm.
Now don't think that I'm complaining about this poo mess. I am not, by any means, thinking that I have it bad. I'm grateful for the sweet-smelling, yellow poo messes that I have to clean up daily. Seriously. I will take it over vomit any day. I get peed on, pooed on, or spit up on daily. Sometimes all three, multiple times. It's just the life of a mom and I count my 3 blessings of children every day. I'm just glad the poo mess ends eventually and pray that I don't grow old and repay the favor to them in my geriatric stage of life.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Oh sure, she thought as she remembered the multiple times that she had been shunned as she tried to snuggle him when the heat of his body was just too much to handle. Then she watched as his chest heaved up and down, slowly gaining an irregular pattern, and his head thrashed from side to side.
After giving in, she carefully held her new found love in her arms until his breathing became steady. She loved him so much, but sometimes his need for her was overwhelming. Especially in these early morning hours when he needed to nuzzle next to her breast...
***insert car brakes screeching, driver and passenger screaming, mailman flying at the windshield, and glass breaking***
Yeah, no. I could never write fan fiction. In fact, I probably won't read any more fan fiction either. At least not the romance novel kind. This here just makes me giggle, the other (less tasteful writing) gives me a queasy feeling. Alright, I'll fess up. The above excerpt, although written by me, wasn't even fiction. It didn't exactly go down that way though...
It was 1:30 in the morning and I had just nursed Payton back to sleep. He seemed pretty out so I tried to transfer him to his crib a couple of feet from my bed. I need a little room to stretch out sometimes and our queen size bed just doesn't cut it for 3 of us when my neck is aching. So I lay him down, rub his back a little, and then cover him with a blanket. As I crawled back into bed I realized that Payton was not asleep and his eyes had popped open. Open eyes are usually a good indicator that he won't just fall back asleep. Frustrated, I asked Bill, "why won't that kid sleep in his crib after midnight?" Bill calmly says, "Because he wants to be next to your warm body."
I slugged him, knowing he was mostly asleep and delirious and wouldn't recall his comment in the morning, and then proceeded to watch Payton to determine if he would get back to sleep on his own. His head flopped back and forth a couple of times and his calm, sleepy breathing had picked up again. His head settled for a minute facing away from me, then when he turned it over again I saw those big bright eyes looking right at me. Alright, alright, I get it. I picked him up and rocked him a little to calm him down. He found his comfort zone and then indicated quite clearly that he wanted to nurse some more.
So there I lay, sandwiched in between my two favorite boys, giggling at Bill's comment and writing this blog post in my head. Obviously I couldn't get back to sleep until I typed it out. Hope you enjoy, and I hope everything is spelled correctly!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Anyway, we tried a glass, he broke a chunk of wood in two, and I finally settled on a plastic bottle of Miracle Whip. As I passed by Payton's crib to lay down I saw the baby powder. It was the perfect square shape, the perfect height, and had just enough give to meld to my neck. Oh, sweet bliss. I fell asleep almost instantly.
Later during the day he took a nice long nap. I was able to lay down for while, see our home teachers, then lay down again. He just liked hanging out on the bed and talking with us too. Just now he gave me lots of hugs and I think he even leaned in for a kiss at one point. Oh wait, that was him chewing on my nose. Silly boy with milk breath. Thanks for being so sweet.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Bill didn't understand why he needed a consultation before the actual event. I said, "are you kidding me? There should be at least a 3 day waiting period, just like buying a gun." Shouldn't that be the way? Guns, abortion, vasectomy (the boys can't read), IUD's, immunizations... you should have to get all the information (pro's AND con's) and then think about and research the darn thing before having anything permanent or semi-permanent done. Don't ya think?
Turns out there is more like a 30 day waiting period.
Anyway, he comes home with his little pamphlet and a list of things to consider. He passes it across the dinner table to me, points and says "read this". It's the section titled, "What are the Benefits of a Vasectomy?" It says, and I quote:
You may find that the freedom from fear of producing an unwanted child will greatly improve the mutual enjoyment in your sexual relations. You may find that your desire for sexual expression becomes more spontaneous and more frequent.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
"Aaah, I hurt my penis!"
Kyra, exasperated, "You don't HAVE a penis!"
Tasha argues back, "Yes I do!"
Kyra, sort of chuckling in a duh kind of tone, "NO, ya don't."
Tasha gives in, "Oh yeah, I don't. I have a vuh-JIE-nuh!"
I'm still laughing. Who raised these girls?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Yesterday, was one such instance. The difference was I knew this person and he wasn't jammin' to any music. I could tell. All I saw was a very animated face chatting it up to himself. His eyebrows were going and he was nodding his head and he looked very pleased with himself. What a weirdo, I thought. For one small instance I thought that this person I respected and admired had lost his marbles. Then I chuckled and called his wife. "Did ----- just leave and does he have your son with him?" She answered in the affirmative. Whew, relief. He's not loosing it. I then related the story to her and how I couldn't see their son in the backseat but that her husband was clearly entertaining him on their drive.
So there you have it. Even when our children aren't making us crazy they are making us LOOK crazy. Oh well, ya gotta love them.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
I'm not sure what this show, "Big Love", is about. I heard a while back that they were going to show a temple wedding in an actual temple-like setting. I never pursued looking any of it up because frankly, Hollywood screws everything up, and HBO really doesn't do much better. They are good at making me laugh though, and this show got grandiose chuckles from me last night. I wasn't really watching it, because I couldn't actually watch it, watch it. I was working at the computer and glancing over and listening when I thought I could tolerate it. It has an amazing cast which is what intrigued me to keep it on. I just really, really hope that there aren't people out there thinking that this is what LDS life and culture is about. Who am I kidding, I know there are. Oh well, what can I say?
As best I can tell, Bill Paxton is married to at least 3 women. Hey, if anyone could pull it off it would be him, right? I'll call them Wife1, 2, and 3. Wife 1 is Jeane Triplehorne, Wife 2 is a sad looking frizzy haired lady who's father is in prison for running this cult, and Wife 3 I confused as his daughter at first. Here's the scene that cracked me up...
All the wives are going at it because Wife 2 is all bent out of shape. She's uptight and high strung because her father is in prison and may be for life, I guess. Bill steps in to calm things down and says they should all back off because Wife 2 is under a lot of stress. (Or something like that, I wasn't paying close attention until now)
Wife 1: You're right.
Wife 3: Yeah, you're right.
Wife 1: In fact we've decided that until this trial is all over she (Wife 2) should have our nights.
Wife 1 and 3 share a smirky glance. Bill and Wife 2 share a horrified glance.
Freakin' hilarious! She can have "our nights"!!! It took me a moment to put that together. Flash forward now to their night together. Bill and Wife 2 are sitting at the dining room table playing cards.
Wife 2: Give me your 5's.
Bill: Do you want to make some popcorn?
Wife 2: No.
Wife 2: Do you have any Jacks?
Bill: No. Go fish.
Bill: Do you want to have sex with me?
Wife 2: No.
Other than these two scenes I really couldn't focus on this show. It mostly looked like a bunch of emotionally traumatized women and girls that were being manipulated by who knows who. Sad really. The dad in prison was played by the guy that played Molly Ringwald's father in Pretty in Pink. He looked even worse in this show, if you can imagine that. Oh well, that was an hour I could have spent not watching something else.
Probably the best part of this vacation for me was listening to Bill and Jared be guys. Guys are such dorks, in the sweetest sense of the word. They would be laughing so hard at dumb comments and ridiculous ideas. My favorite, the one that I witnessed first hand, was when Jared took a picture of Bill taking a picture of Tasha. She was trying to be asleep in the stroller that was meant for Payton, it was dark, and Bill's camera doesn't have a flash. These smart guys have the brilliant solution that if Jared uses the flash on his camera, and Bill times it just right, the phone will take a nice shot as well. Weirdos. I don't know how many tries it took to get it just right, but they got to laughing pretty good and it was music to my ears. (Which was good for my aching feet!)
Yep, as you can imagine, this is how Crystal and I spent much of our time in Disneyland... with our smallest children snuggled up against us. Fortunately, these little guys (the 2 in the picture that are hiding from view) were able to go on many a ride while sitting on our laps or soundly asleep in the sling.
The funnest part of this trip with Crystal were the few moments that we were able to sneak away without Brandon and Payton and enjoy some rides with height restrictions. One morning we got there early and raced over to Indiana Jones and Thunder Mountain while the rest of the crew went to Fantasy Land and rode the kiddie rides. Later, after everyone else had gone on CA Soarin' while Brandon played in and ate some dirt and Payton nursed, we were able to utilize some fast passes to get that thrill as well. But the funniest part was the last night when the guys surprised us with a couple of companion passes for the Matterhorn. We had been saving a spot by the castle to watch the fireworks when they came back and gave us those. You don't have to tell us twice! We were out of there and on that ride as fast as we could. Now, apparently 2 guys sharing a bobsled on this ride are gay, but 2 girls can get away with it. That was a good thing because that's what made this ride a hoot! We've always done it with a little kid in front of us so we could see what was coming. It's a whole different ride when you can't see in front of you. We each got a turn being in front with our knees squished and in the back riding blindly. Fun, fun, fun I tell ya!
I love that Cyrena knows what she wants. Jedi Training camp? No thank you. Cyrena has been there and done that so why would she sit around waiting for that to happen again if she could be off riding the carousel? I took her and Tasha over to a couple of rides while everyone else hung out trying to get Ethan chosen as a Jedi to fight Darth Mal. Cyrena also doesn't like the Star Wars ride because it "makes my head bobble", she says as she shakes her head around a little.
Payton was screaming when most everyone was watching a 3D Bugs Life show so I missed it. I guess something happened where Cyrena wasn't able to see it all either, Jared was off getting a fast pass, and Ethan wanted another look. The 4 of us went back in to what I consider the best 3D show I've ever seen. Cyrena really liked it and was careful not to spoil it for me. To say I freaked out at the end, when the roaches crawl under your butt, would be an understatement. I screamed and jokingly scolded Cyrena for not warning me. She was so silly trying to defend herself and telling me it wouldn't have been any fun for me. I know what she was really doing, she was messing with me and wanted to see me scream like a little girl! It worked and I will hold it against her until I get her back.
"Look, I found my brush" Tasha declares to Kyra.
"No you didn't. I did! It was in the suitcase that you packed it in." I butt in.
"Really?" Tasha asks.
"Yes. You and Kyra both 'lost' your brushes right where you put them. I found them and put them up right where you keep them," I reply in a kind and jovial manner.
Silence from both girls.
"Dorks!" I add for good measure.
"We're dorks and dad and Brother Lee are suckers," Kyra says.
What? What is she talking about? How did those guys get involved in this conversation?
"What are you talking about?" I inquire.
"You said they were suckers," she answers.
"No I didn't. When? What are you talking about?" I'm seriously confused, but it's still early and I'm not quite awake yet.
"When we were at Disneyland and they were buying us each a stuffed animal. You said they were suckers," Kyra recalls from that perfect memory of hers that only seems to work when it comes back to bite me in the butt.
"Yes. Yes, I did call them suckers. They are and you two are dorks."
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
So, what do I do?