Thursday, August 27, 2009

Ultrasound Day

Bill and I went to our one and only ultrasound today.

Drumroll please.

We're having ...

a baby...




10 fingers, 10 toes, beating heart, big brain and body. All looks healthy and good. That's what's important, right?!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

What's a Jubilee?!

Check it out...

Since this year marks the 50th year since the inception of Petersen Park Ward, formerly Tempe 3rd Ward, we will be celebrating with all of Petersen Park and 3rd Ward alumni at our very own Jubilee! The Petersen Park Jubilee will be held at the Tempe Stake Center on Sunday, September 20th at 6pm. Mark your calendars, spread the word and bring 1 dozen baked goods when you come with you to the event! We look forward to seeing you there. If you have any questions please contact us through the blog or via email at

Merriam-Webster's #1 definition of jubilee is: a year of emancipation and restoration provided by ancient Hebrew law to be kept every 50 years by the emancipation of Hebrew slaves, restoration of alienated lands to their former owners, and omission of all cultivation of the land.

I'm glad our church is keeping current with ancient Hebrew Law.

Alright, the second definition says its a special celebration, especially a 50 year anniversary.

So, in case you're reading this and don't know yet... come celebrate and spread the word. Who does that include? Amanda (I expect you to make the trip from NM!), Danielle (you better know from Jaylee already and have told some more people!), Chrissybug (I know you'll make it with your sister and some more peeps), Pam (the Wright's better make it along with your family and all your croney friends!), and Lisa you could tell Marta for me (!) and crash it yourself, nobody will be the wiser.

Monday, August 24, 2009

(Men are Jerks) AND...Women are Hormonal

We are. Face it ladies. Even when we're not hormonal, we could be. I fought this thought for years and years and even tried to hide the fact that anything during the month had changed. Guess what? It doesn't work. Ask Bill, he knows. In fact, Bill was the one that caught onto the mood swings and PMS before I did and he learned to act (or react) accordingly. What does "accordingly" mean? When I would go on a rage, say mean or hurtful things, cry uncontrollably for no apparent reason, take offense to something really stupid, or just give up for a day, Bill wouldn't blink an eye and he definitely wouldn't point out what time of the month it was. That folks, is why Bill is not a jerk (to me).

So then you'd think, being pregnant, that the hormonal issues might go away for a bit. Maybe they did, for me, but they were replaced by sick, puking feelings, and heaving up stomach acid every morning for 3 months. Nice visual there, huh? Sorry about that. But seriously (!), is that really a fair trade? I think NOT. Then we move onto the late fourth and fifth month when things should be great. Nope, no mercy here folks. I'm not going into details, but let's just say that this summer has sucked (minus a few brief interludes of fun times), and it's hot. Now, I'm headed into the third trimester and this is when, for me, the emotions kick my butt. I take everything personally (probably because I'm getting enormous and am very self conscious about it), cry at the drop of anything, and try really hard not to lash out at anyone but then go into a deep guilt trip once I do. I'd say that's just me, but I've heard reports that this is pretty standard. We all just deal with it differently. But I digress...

Pregnancy doesn't help the hormone front. In fact, it just increases the emotional turmoil going on inside of a woman. It's chaos I tell ya, pure chaos. Most men know this because to see a pregnant woman crying because her lemonade split is not a big deal to them. They understand that hormone clause, but they don't apply that transitive property that we discussed in the "men are jerks" post. Let's try to figure out that equation: IF women are hormonal, AND your hormones temporarily disengage all rational thinking, AND it takes rational thinking to act properly, THEN a hormonal woman is temporarily unable to think and act rationally. Did we all follow that, or were there one too many steps there? If you are a woman and followed that, you are probably not hormonal right now. If you are a man and followed that, bravo (!), you might not need as many jerk cards as you think. Well, you might still need the cards because you really need to apply that theory to make it work in your favor. You need to apply it ALL the time, with ALL women. Most of you figure out how to apply it to your wives (eventually!), but you really have to work it across the board with all women to stay off jerk status. Some of you do this through avoidance (Dave!), which tends to work, in most cases. If we have a (non-jerk) husband or someone else to turn to then we're fine. I think this is where "Girls Night Out" originated. It probably began with a bunch of newlywed women with husbands that hadn't figured them out yet and they all got together to sympathize with each other. But I digressed, again...

Monthly cycles can be brutal and pregnancy doesn't help, so then we have post-pregnancy right? Wrong again, my friends! Some women have postpartum depression, which I have fortunately avoided so I can't really go into detail on that one, thankfully. Then there's nursing. Yes, beautiful nursing... the special bond between mother and child that again, can bring a tear to their mother's eye. I've enjoyed every minute of that time with my children, even the moments when they bite and I want to pitch them across the room. But again, let's be honest here... there comes a point when you say to yourself, "I just want my body back!!!" That body that nobody was reliant on for food. That body that didn't gain 50 pounds to carry the kid. That body that didn't ever fully recover from the last pregnancy, or the last pregnancy, or the pregnancy before that. A few weeks ago my friend was saying how unfair it was that her husband had basically the same body he did when he was in high school, he just grew into it and developed more muscles, and that he could probably continue to have the same body for as long as he wanted. True, oh so true. If they work at it, men really only have their own metabolism against them, right? What do we have? Metabolism, bleeding, nursing children, night-time wakings (which leads to sleep deprivation), necessary weight gain for a healthy baby, etc. Oh, look at that, I digressed, AGAIN (!)...

So "Aunt Flo" is not helpful, pregnancy doesn't fix everything, breast-feeding has it's ups and downs, so we think ahead to the day when all of that is behind us. NO WAY!!! Menopause (!), are you kidding me? I'm not even going there. But let's imagine, for a moment, that you get through menopause without too much emotional scarring, next comes osteoporosis. Oh joy. Brittle bones and the constant fear that you will fall and break a hip. Yep, I think I'll stick with my hormones, thank you very much.

Now the logical man brain is thinking that this is all just a big problem to be solved. Stop just a minute now and remember that you are all jerks! You can't fix us because we're not broken. Stop trying to come up with ridiculous pills and potions and shots that you think you're doing to save us from ourselves but we really know is for your own benefit. And what about natural remedies? Sure they work, and then they don't, and then you have to figure out the other one that works, and then it doesn't. Drink milk to avoid osteoporosis. Oh yeah, except for the years that you can't because dairy makes your nursing infants spit up your breast milk. (And who do I have to thank for that one? Yep, Bill, a man...he and Billy both had a milk intolerance as babies, so it's clear to me that that gene came from him) So you switch to soy milk which ups your estrogen levels and screws with your hormones again. Yeah, yeah, rice milk, almond milk...blah, blah, blah...who has time to figure all this out. Really!?! Because once you find something that works for you it either stops working, or the FDA declares it unsafe and takes it away, or someone in your family becomes allergic to it. I'm sure I digressed here again, but let's face it, I think I've forgotten what this post is about anyway. Oh yeah...

Women are hormonal.

and (back to the original point)

Men are jerks.

Men are jerks because they don't have to deal with any of this. They get to go to work and tune into a different channel for a while. Yes, I sympathize, because it is work and it is responsibility. I support that and try to respect your time at work. I let you opt out of my crying phone calls and pathetic emails when I'm down. I don't call you in the middle of one of your children's fits and have you deal with it. I try to do that without you and, when I can't, I pull the "just wait 'til your father gets home" line and go cry and scream in the laundry room, far away from the eyes and ears of the cause of the problem. And then, in the end, I'm sorry for everything. I'm even sorry for calling you a jerk and for one second wishing we could switch places. I really don't want that. Being a woman can really be a joy and I think being a man must really suck sometimes.

Now, do you really think that any man hung in there to the end of this post? Who am I kidding, they stopped reading at the word "hormonal", am I right? I want to dare them to comment, but instead of doing that I'll give them a free jerk card and end with another math question (and I'll disguise it in words so that I'll know if they just jumped to the end, looking for letters and numbers). Name the theorum: 'a' squared plus 'b' squared equals 'c' squared. That's all I've got. I remember it because I was able to use it while working at the hardware store, with a bunch of men. I think that was when I determined that all men are jerks, I just haven't admitted it until now. Now that I'm openly hormonal.

"You curled your hair today..."

It was a statement, not a question. Bill and I went out to lunch today, and as we were finishing he said, "You curled your hair today..."

And just as I was about to smile and thank him for noticing, he followed it with:

"...either that or you went through a car wash with the window down."

Geez. Clearly this is no longer a compliment, right? I went to the bathroom (because that's what you do when you're pregnant) and then came back to clarify.

Me: What did you say? I went through the car wash?
Bill: With the window down.
Me: Right. Just checking.
Bill: Oh no, this clearly falls under the non-blogging clause.
Me: Not a chance! This conversation happened in a public setting, was not in the bedroom, and had nothing to do with bedroom antics. Clearly, bloggable.
Bill: Ya know, sometimes the jokes just aren't worth the price I'll have to pay later.

Of course, if I didn't think it was funny, I wouldn't have to post it. I just love this man, sarcastically rude comments and all.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Happy 11th BDay Kyra!!!

Kyra's "stash", on her birthday morning. (the bunny was just in the shot, being nosey!)
Actually, I think the bunny is trying to make off with the new bag Kyra got to carry her school stuff in. Bad bunny!!
Flip flops, because you can't have too many flip flops in AZ!
Candy for the movie she would attend later that afternoon. Harry Potter!!!
Pokemon, because Tasha really wanted her to have her own box. Sweet.
Goodies for the slumber party she would have the following week.

Thanks mom, for getting Kyra her funky wigs and tiaras! The girls all loved them and almost wore them to the video store where they picked out Water Horse to watch at 10pm.

The final product in this ultimate brownie pan that comes with perfect dividers so everyone could put their own treats on their own row of brownies. (OK, this one isn't the ULTIMATE brownie pan, that would be "Kurtis", the pan that bakes a swirl of brownies to where every brownie has at least two edges to it.)

Seriously, they pulled out the Uno cards and even let Tasha play with them!

After dinner and nail polish...
Entertainment in the evening.
Kyra and Cyrena are hiding the secret messages that they wrote. Maya is playing it up, pretending that nothing is going on. I LOVE that I didn't have to plan anything for this party and they just enjoyed having a good time together.
Thank goodness for age 11!!!

We Love You, Kyra!!!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Argh, Shopping!!!

I haven't been a fan of shopping lately. The only place that has been fun for me is, sadly, Walgreens. Weird, I know. That's where I got all of Kyra's birthday gifts this year. Again, weird, I know. (Birthday post, coming soon) Walgreens is where I pick up my photos and venture down the school supply isle each time. Ah, school supplies. "Don't you just love New York in the Fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. If I knew your name and address I'd send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils..." School supplies gives me hope that there is an end to the summer.

Now, I'm going to attempt Good Will. After psyching myself into it on several occasions, and listening to several women regale me with their good finds and cheap prices, I'm gonna try. Plus, I have a few bags of goods to give them so I can get that coupon for a discount. Wish me luck, the last time I went was for Halloween.

But what about shoes?! I'm seriously in a depressed funk about shoes. I refuse to buy shoes at a second hand store. Rubber rain boots for Tasha, or the pair of skates that she wears once in a blue moon, fine, but not everyday shoes that we're going to sweat in and somebody else has sweated in. Yick. Foot fungus anyone?! (and that politically incorrect line from Bend it Like Beckom comes to mind. What it is A?! That makes me laugh.) I don't even want Kyra wearing my shoes unless they are something like sandals to take out the trash.

But the real issue I have with my shoe funk is that I've probably only bought church shoes at one store in the past 5 years. In fact, it was almost a tradition for me to stop at Mervyn's after the women's conference each fall to see what they had. Mervyn's always had shoes that fit comfortably without even needing breaking in. But alas, my Mervyn's is gone and "they're probably going to put in something really depressing, like a Baby Gap". Oh wait, I'd like a Baby Gap. Instead they're putting in...a...WALMART. Now that's really depressing. I'm gonna go cry now, into my lone pair of black church shoes that don't fit my fat pregnant feet very well anymore...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Men are Jerks

I haven't determined if men have a jerk gene or if they are just missing several genes. You know, the genes that enable you to empathize and care, the one that picks up on signals that help them relate to other human beings (women in particular), the gene shows compassion and a willingness to help even when the situation is not something they understand. And then there's the fact that you can tell them over and over again and they can't seem to transfer the information from time to time or situation to situation. There's a geometry term for that, I think. Or maybe it's a combination of the commutative and distributive property of multiplication.

Yes, full blown pessimistic pregnancy hormones have hit our home. April, come take my computer away from me!

It all started last Saturday while I was watching Something's Gotta Give on TV. I'd never seen it before and I can't really stand Jack Nicholson, but I like Diane Keaton and Amanda Peet. And yes, of course I know that Jack is going to portray a jerk. That's his job, he's good at it. Boy, oh boy, is he good at it. If you've seen this movie you will know that there is a scene, after Jack and Diane get together, where he leaves her. He's not breaking up with her, in fact he's just saying goodnight, but he's breaking her heart. It was gut wrenching to watch. Every single pleading look that Diane gave him was just overlooked by him. Why? Because all men are jerks. That's just really the only explanation I can come up with. And she was SOOOOOOOO convincing! I swear I should teach a class to men on how to read women and give them what they need and want. I'd use this movie as homework.

Then Bill has me watching West Wing reruns. I said to Bill, at least half a dozen times inside of 2 episodes, "men are jerks!" By the last time he retorted with, "Hey, watch it! I'm a man." Yes, yes dear. You are a man. And no, you're not a jerk. I think there must be some sort of husband clause that exempts him from being a jerk in my book. ANYWAY, we're watching a scene and there is a conversation between Josh and Amy where he is breaking a date with her. It's fine, no big deal, she takes it with ease. She makes a little joke, and he goes off on her like an idiot! We actually rewound the DVD so I could show him the exact point in which Josh turned into a jerk. Bill knew, but he didn't catch it the first time. See, men are just not quick enough to pick up on these cues.

So tonight at dinner Bill said something dumb. Like, really dumb and obnoxious that nobody would take seriously. I didn't but I said, "You're a jerk!... do you know why?" He said, "because I'm a guy?" Yes, he's catching on. "And what are guys?"

wait for it...

Tasha says...

"All guys are jerks."

I swear, I have never taught her this truth. She's just a very intuitive 5 year old that can apply the associative property or whatever property it is. You know the one, the one that says if A=B and B=C then A=C. It think it's geometry. In fact, I'm opening it up to save a man from jerk-dome. The first man to offer up the term for this "If...then" statement gets 2 get out of jerk jail free cards. Bill you don't get to play.

Tomorrow I'll probably clear things up with the girls. I'll clarify that all men are not jerks, they just do jerky things... or something like that.

I'm Sick of Sweating

That's it. That's all I have to say.

Monday, August 3, 2009

All is Well in Burns and Scars

We went to the burn clinic today for our follow-up visit. Tasha got the all clear for all activities, including swimming. No more bandaging, cleaning, and ointments. Hoo-rah! They gave her a covering for it that she's supposed to wear all the time (except in water), but it is easily removed so when you need to take a peek, I'm sure she'll oblige. The covering looks a lot like those support hose that people wear for whatever reason. It annoys her though, because she's supposed to wear it inside out so the seams don't press into her skin. It fits pretty tight and is just there to protect her new skin. We've got to lotion it a lot and use pressure to break up any funky tissue that might leave a weird scar underneath the skin, but they don't think there will be any significant scarring at all. Sunscreen is a must and they even said to send it to school with her to be applied before she goes outside. OK, I get it people! It's newborn skin and I must treat it as precious and delicate.

Just 2 short weeks after the original incident... we feel very blessed to be so fortunate. Now life might get back to normal. (Wait, what is normal again?!)

Saturday, August 1, 2009

My Husband is Such a Riot!

Bill went to the grocery store for me today, with the girls. We were desperate for food in this house, as we were eating up every last crumb in the fridge. (minus the stuff that had gotten moldy and gross during our hospital stint) I was in the shower when he got home and he was able to unload and put everything away before I was finished. (I like me a nice, long shower, what can I say?!) Some of the items on the grocery list Bill had deemed "Costco worthy", so he yelled through the door that he would be going to Costco next. OK, whatever floats your boat my dear!
I get out to find these flowers on the counter. Sweet, right? Yes, they are. Carnations are clearly the yummiest smelling flowers that there are and Bill knows that. I like to stick my nose in them and just soak up the aroma. I joke about nibbling the petals, just like I nibble my little kid's toes when they are fresh out of the shower. Sooo... along with the flowers is a note that reads, "DO NOT EAT!" Funny babe, really, really funny.