Sunday, October 26, 2008


Kyra and I were fortunate enough to go to a Stake Activity Day this last Saturday. I am always surprised at how few people attend these events. It is a bit disheartening to think that few people put their girls first. But maybe, just maybe they were doing something else with them. I'll try to give them the benefit of the doubt since many sporting events are in full swing and they could be off playing soccer, cheer leading, or some other such activity. Lucky for us though, this was first on our calendar so we were blessed by the strengthening of our relationship :) Sister Clegg spoke to us using the acronym of "FRIENDS".

Fun (have fun together!)
Respect (each other and love perfectly)
Interest (share your interests, do the same things)
Encourage (look eye to eye)
Need (each other)
Defend (your beliefs, your friends, stand up for each other)
Serve (love the people you serve)

Crystal talked a little about defending your family and not sharing all the problems with others outside your family. This is supposed to help foster loyalty and keep family problems within the family. You end up defending one another and supporting one another. I'm at odds with this one, but I'm going to better about less gossipy talk, and more loving talk. Part of it has to do with simply not knowing what to do with my kids. I have absolutely no advice to give Kyra about how to be a big sister. I don't know what is acceptable behavior for sisters so I'm wingin' it on that one. How do siblings relate to one another?! My brother and I were 8 years apart so we were both only children and had nothing in common. I idolized him, just like Tasha idolizes Kyra, but we certainly show it in different ways. See this?! I'm already breaking the rules by dumping my family problems on the Internet.

Something I try to do already is looking eye to eye with my kids and other children. Getting down on their level really goes a long way when you are talking with kids. Sometimes it is really hard to stop what you are doing (cooking, sewing, ect.) to look in their eyes, but it is worth it. I make a special effort to do this when I am at the computer and have to physically turn around. I also try to ignore the phone if we're having a good conversation or good game time. The phone is interrupting our time, just like I ask them not to interrupt Bill and I when we're talking.

The final thing on service was very interesting to me. Everyone has different needs and wants therefore everyone needs to be served differently. How do you show your needs? How do you give service? This is different for everyone and sometimes, even in families, it is difficult to figure out. Some people need to be alone to decompress, others need to be surrounded by people they love to fill up. Both ways are perfectly acceptable but not compatible when the 2 personalities are trying to fill their needs at the same time. (Not that I have that problem here at my house!) One of the things that come to mind on this is "fairness". My in-laws always had a problem with their kids wanting everything to be fair. If one kids got to spend $20/month on pictures, the other one wanted it too, even if they didn't even care about the pictures. You could go crazy, and broke, if you tried to do this. Filling the needs of the individual child and serving them the best way you know should be more important than trying to make everything equal.

Even though this day was about Mother-Daughter friendship I couldn't help but think about my friends too. I have so many of you that fit so nicely into these categories. I love and need you in my life! Thanks for being there and encouraging me with your service!

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