Friday, January 15, 2010

We're Done Having Children

And Bill will soon be having a procedure done to make sure it doesn't happen. That's what we call it around here. A "procedure". We don't use the V word because the boys don't like to hear it. Yes, when I say "the boys" I'm talking about those boys. The ones that Joey won't let go commando in another mans fatigues. Or was that on Seinfield? Either way, I think you get the point.

Bill didn't understand why he needed a consultation before the actual event. I said, "are you kidding me? There should be at least a 3 day waiting period, just like buying a gun." Shouldn't that be the way? Guns, abortion, vasectomy (the boys can't read), IUD's, immunizations... you should have to get all the information (pro's AND con's) and then think about and research the darn thing before having anything permanent or semi-permanent done. Don't ya think?

Turns out there is more like a 30 day waiting period.

Anyway, he comes home with his little pamphlet and a list of things to consider. He passes it across the dinner table to me, points and says "read this". It's the section titled, "What are the Benefits of a Vasectomy?" It says, and I quote:

You may find that the freedom from fear of producing an unwanted child will greatly improve the mutual enjoyment in your sexual relations. You may find that your desire for sexual expression becomes more spontaneous and more frequent.

Umm.









WOOHOO!!!

2 comments:

Ryan said...

I never thought I'd see the day when Helena was writing about sex and vasectomies on her public blog. All of those parents of my teenage friends were right growing up, I am a bad influence after all, but I like it. I'm so proud!

Rachel said...

You have been cracking me up lately on your blog H. And this one was no exception. I wish I knew Bill better, I bet we'd be great friends too! Miss you...