Monday, August 18, 2008

Who Sucked the Life out of my Summer?

I realize that summer in the Valley of the Sun is just that...sunny...and plenty hot, to say the least. I hate it. I hate the heat. I hate the stickiness. I hate running (OK, walking briskly) from shady car place to air conditioned store, back to shady car place to air conditioned home, etc. I don't like that I have to keep my living room curtains closed for fear that the slightest bit of sunshine will bring the temperature up 5 degrees within a 30 minute period of time. I hate that my pathetic truffula tree in the backyard is leaning so far to the ground that certain leaves of certain branches are touching the ground but I refuse to cut off any branches because that is valuable shade! I hate that I have to put the dog's water dish in the shade with a drizzling of hose water running continually or else their poor little tongues will scorch in the boiling water. Blah, blah. I hate a lot of things about the summer in Tempe, but my real concern right now is where in the heck did my summer go to?!

Does anyone remember when school used to start the week after labor day? You know, in September?! I visualize calendars with watermelons and picnics pictured in August and the school bus, pencils and smiling children in September. You can't just move that picture from September to August because there are no smiling children when they have to start school on August 4th! Or August 13th! Sheesh. Who sucked the life out of our summers? Whose bright idea was it to move the start date up a week, then 2 weeks, then 3 weeks, and now finally a whole month?! Who on earth thought this would be a good idea?!

I know, let's bring all the students back to school right when things are getting really hot. Let's turn the air conditioning on in these great big schools right when it will cost the most money. Let's bring a bunch of kids together with their tempers flaring and not even let them run around outside because it is too stinking hot to go outside! This is a grand plan. But the best idea of all, the thing that makes the most sense, the best reason to start school early is this: it forces all the parents to stay in town, endure the heat, beat themselves up for not planning a earlier vacation, and finally...feel really guilty for sitting in the pick-up lane with the air conditioning running for any length of time because their younger child doesn't want to park and get out and walk because it is too stinking hot, we are all cranky, and we should all still be at home, lazing around, eating watermelon in our air conditioned homes, occasionally venturing outside maybe for a dip in the pool or a run through the sprinklers.

Let's face it, whoever had the bright idea of starting school early and having a fall break, then start even earlier so we could have an extending fall break was, quite frankly, a moron.


April said...

Do we even get a fall bream at DM? I'm not sure if we do.

H said...

Nope. And dang it, who exploded the print on my computer screen AGAIN?! (I swear Bill is blind and is doing it on purpose... I may have to call Ryan if I can't figure it out on my own.)

Amanda said...

What about going straight through summer (since it is too hot anyway) and then having a winter break that lasts from October to January? That would be awesome.

H said...

PS. Aren't "back to school" specials supposed to happen before we go back to school?!! Either the retail business needs to catch up with schools, OR (my preference) schools need to back off!

btg said...

First of all I did nothing to the size of the screen. But it is an easy fix. On the top of the computer screen (at least I think it is on top, with my blindness I may be wrong) click on "view", go down to "text size", adjust the font size to whatever you prefer! I would be willing to bet that the same retailers that missed the boat on the sales are the same ones that push for early return dates. Nothing like school supplies to boost your slow summer sales...especially in Az.