Monday, August 11, 2008

Compulsive Hoarding

I thought I had a clutter problem. I thought it and I know it to be true. I've watched those shows where the organizing people come in and gut a room, sell stuff, dump stuff, and end up with a beautiful space. I even had my friend come over and help me organize a space. She was thrilled because that is what she does. We made quite a bit of progress, I still know where all that stuff is, but sadly part of the space has become cluttered again because I have new stuff to put there. I envy the person without all the stuff, the one that can resist the sale, and the one that doesn't have to save something because, "what if"...I need it someday. Anyway, I have a lot of issues, I've made a lot of progress lately, but at least I'm not a compulsive hoarder!

I took a nap with Tasha this afternoon so I'm not really ready for bed and am trying to kill some time while waiting for the new Army Wives episode to come on. Every time I switch to the Olympics there is a commercial and I'm sick of watching Olympic athletes sell their souls by doing McDonald's commercials. I read a lengthy article on morality and laughed at the idea of throwing a fat man in front of a train to stop the train from hitting 5 men. But now I've channel surfed and found a show titled, "Help! I'm a Hoarder."

Oooh, part of me wants to hold this poor woman and let her know that everything is going to be OK, the other part of me wants to strangle her and scream, "just let it go!!!" To listen to her talk in her baby-like-fake-sing-song-analytical voice is going to drive me up a wall. And to say, "here is a pile of laundry but I don't have the money to wash it" while talking toan organizing specialist that she meets with weekly seems a little off to me. Her counselor points out that she was abused as a child and she notes that when she sees things on the street she has to rescue them. Seven years earlier the state brought a dumpster to the apartment and completely emptied her place. Her comment was that she was "completely disoriented in space." (while circling her hands around her head and looking to the sky) As the show continues to unfold I get the feeling that the state is paying for all the therapy and specialists but I'm not sure because she just got an eviction notice.

Why, oh why, am I investing time in this show? Maybe because I feel a little less crazy for the piles of clothes on top of my dresser that don't fit Tasha any more. Maybe because I feel a little better that my clutter is fairly contained to one room and a few dump zones in various rooms. I do notice that my anxiety level has gone up over the last hour and I feel overwhelmed by the piles I need to get through. Tomorrow is another day and I imagine that I have a trip to Good Will in store for myself after a hefty heave-ho of a bunch of junk. Maybe I have hoarding behaviors, maybe I don't...but I'm pretty sure I'm not quite compulsive.

4 comments:

Amanda said...

Denial is what step in the process??

H said...

Heh, heh. Good one Amanda! I'm not sure, maybe I should go buy a book on it, or maybe 2 or 3...

Marie said...

I feel for you H, I am on the same page, seems like I get one area done and another springs up into total chaos.

*hugs*

The Turley Times said...

I also had a hard time watching those superfit Olympic god's and goddesses trying sell McDonald's food to the masses. Like they really eat that...and will eating that make us look/perform like them?