Wednesday, September 10, 2008

"Are you for Scuba?"

Along Came Polly just came on and that quote just makes me laugh. It is the most ridiculous scene, followed by a silly story about a hippo. This sort of sums up the thoughts going through my mind right now. So here goes, my brain is about to spill...

Bill has a great thing to post and everyone should harass him until he does it. He's not allowed to cut and paste or write anything about sports until he narcs on me. It was quite funny so we'll see if he can do it any justice. But then again, maybe it wasn't THAT funny and you had to be there. Oh well, I thought maybe he was in the other room right now doing just such a thing.

Rain always seems to clean things. We always say how fresh and clean things are after a nice good rain. Would someone please tell my husband that clean rain does not imply that clothes can get cleaned in the rain? Why do I keep asking him to help me with the laundry, and is this yet another attempt by him to be relieved from such duties? (Really, should I go pull them down now that the rain is over and they are soaking wet, or chance them getting soaked again?)

I was at a handwork group last week with a load of Waldorf parents when my worst nightmare happened. It wasn't actually a nightmare, it was just as ridiculous as the hippo story. Waldorf education believes that you don't teach children rote things at a young age, you let them grow and discover and learn at their own pace. Makes sense, but I knew there would be crazies out there. A woman actually said something to this effect, "I don't know where my child is learning all her numbers from. She is just counting all the time and loves it. I don't encourage it. When we went to the play group this summer I was hoping that she didn't start doing it because I didn't want anyone thinking that I was teaching her." Just let your daughter be a hippo! After listening to her debate on whether her daughter was brilliant and that she didn't think her daughter needed to be placed in advanced classes, I had to pipe in and say, "kids are kids and they all develop at different rates. My younger daughter is obsessed with counting to 100 and my older one could have cared less at that age." Please!

I just giggle when I think of all those couples out there sitting side by side with their individual laptops going full throttle. Or, in our case, one laptop and the jumbo-tron in the next room. Does this count and things you do together if we ever go to couple's counseling?!

How do math concepts roll over to real life? Kyra is to Tasha what Harlee is to Zoey. The first pair are my kids, the second pair are my dogs. (Boy will my mom be thrilled with this analagy!)Well behaved, obedient older sisters to fun-loving, roudy little sisters. Thanks April for figuring this one out.

I have no idea how to keep the words "affect" and "effect" straight. I try and try but not only do I have to look it up each time I use it, I have to read the sentence examples to understand it. I'm thinking of putting a link on my blog to save myself some time. I did not look it up tonight so if I used wrong in the Waldorf paragraph that is just too stinking bad. I'm counting on the ignorance of my readers to have missed it. On the other hand, please comment if you have a sure-fire way to keep them straight. When in doubt, I go with the "effect."

I quoted another movie to Bill last night. He was giving me a hard time about something and wouldn't let it drop. (I can't even remember what it was about) So I started in on him,
"You mocked me once, never do it again!" And then I kept going because he started to open his mouth in protest, "I DIED that day! And you can die too for all I care." He caved since he really couldn't come up with a good retort and finally answered, "AAAAS-YOOOOOU-WIIIIISH!"

I love how laughter deflects negative emotions and anger. It has helped with the kids if you can just divert their hostility toward a good belly laugh. Sometimes I worry that we really need to dig into whatever is going on, but sometimes it's better to just diffuse the situation. I really love it when it happens accidentally and is genuine. I have 2 memories of this happening: 1) I was about 10 years old and had stayed out past dark to "help" a friend with her paper route. When I walked in the door my mom was at the table, visibly shaken and worried about me. I didn't see the big deal, my brother was supporting me and my mom tried to punish me. In an effort to ground me she pointed that motherly finger at me and cried, "you're-you're, (long pause), you're out of bounds!" She completely gave up trying to find the right word and my brother and I just just busted out laughing. Needless to say, my one and only grounding ended the very second my mom tried to enforce it and she realized her over-reaction. 2) Bill and I were at the drive-thru at Pete's Fish and Chips one night and were just chatting and joking around. Something happened when we got our food (he said something dumb, or they overfilled the cup AGAIN and the stupid sticky soda was leaking out the top) and I went ballistic. Without missing a beat Bill shyly says, "WOW. Zero to pissed off in point 5 seconds!" I think he said it under his breath so I wouldn't lash out further, but I just busted up laughing. We actually had to pull over and stop the car we were laughing so hard.

Finally (because this seems to be "pick on Bill night"), why oh why would Bill leave David Letterman and his interview with Barack Obama on if he doesn't really want to discuss politics? I'm tempted to go wake him up and talk to him about something that was said. I guess this is better than earlier when he went in the other room and left on A Time to Kill just as it was starting and a little girl was about to be raped. I actually yelled at him to come and change the channel, "you better be on your, run, run... you need to change it quick," I believe were my exact words.

Seriously though, "are you for scuba?"


Crystal said...

I love the movie quotes (especially the Princess Bride ones). We use them all of the time to diffuse situations too. That is hilarious that mom worrying that people will think she is teaching her child how to count. What would she think about us crazy mormons that get our kids to memorize scriptures. I also love Bill's quote at the drive through. Very funny.

FizixMamma said...

maybe this will help you:
a fog machine is a specical Effect and pills cause side Effects
and you're Affected by the weather
Affect is feelings and changes
but Effect is more like seeming/illusion or because of changes
A comes before E and Affect is changes and Effect is because of changes
but all this may only make sense to me

H said...

Carol, thanks for trying. I think I get it but using it in context might be tricky. Shouldn't you be Effected by the weather since it changed? And isn't the fog machine causing the change so it should be a special affect? Again, I get the concept but I keep overthinking it, obviously...