Tuesday, February 24, 2009


At one point in the book Laila and her daughter Aziza were separated. Because of the stresses in her life, Aziza began to stutter. Aziza did not talk about the difficulties of her life, but preferred to talk about other things she was learning. She talked at length about the subjects she was being schooled on and at one point was talking about something similar to earthquakes. Basically, Aziza was saying that when we feel tremors on the earth there is usually a lot more going on underneath the surface. This is quite an analogy coming from this fabulous author (pgs 324,325,327):

"Aziza stammered now. Mariam noticed it first. It was subtle but perceptible, and more pronounced with words that began with t...

(Laila) thought of Aziza's stutter, and of what Aziza had said earlier about fractures and powerful collisions deep down and how sometimes all we see on the surface is a slight tremor."

This situation reminds me that, as mothers, we have to be constantly aware of what is going on with our children. They are so precious and delicate and have been given to us to care for in this life. What a responsibility! We need to be on the lookout for the "tremors" that come up in their lives and try to be aware of situations that are causing them discomfort or stress. It is sometimes difficult to find the root of a problem, but I am often amazed at the simplicity of the root when I find it. I'm not saying my children have simple problems, especially not in their eyes, I'm just saying that at age 4 and 10 they don't have as much baggage to draw from and therefore are not as complicated as adults are. I love that Kyra's teacher is so very in tune with some of the things going on in her life and that she is usually aware of a situation if I bring it up. This has been true of 4 of her 7 teachers thus far in her schooling and I feel very blessed to have such caring educators on my side. I'm also grateful that Bill is the type of father that can sit down and have a heart to heart with his daughters without it being weird. I adore him for this quality and know that his daughters will go to him for comfort when they need it.

I'm not the most thoughtful, sensitive, and talkative mom at all times. I think this is a reflection of how I was raised and how my mom was raised. I don't remember any touchy-feely moments with my grandmother at all, she was all business. I loved her for all she did and taught me and she was always busy. My mom is super sensitive and emotional and that always bugged me as a child, and young adult. Maybe I overcompensate to not be like my mom, maybe I am just genetically built to be like my grandmother, I don't know. I am trying to find a happy sensitive medium though. I know my limitations, when I have no compassion for a situation, and I try to let my family know that the subject is something to discuss later and really do try to get back to it when I can look at it objectively and sympathetically. If I don't do that I end up saying something like, "get over it" or simply insinuating that their feelings are an overreaction. I always feel bad about this and end up apologizing, but that doesn't make up for the lack of empathy they feel from me. I guess I'm a work in progress.

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