Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Worst Movies (by Bill and H)

Bill and I like most movies, however there are a few that come to mind as being on the worst list. Some of these are ones that people rave about, love, and can't get enough of. Some of them are ones that are our friends favorites! Here's the list, with some explanations.

#1. Powder. Hands down, worst movie we've seen to this day. We rate all movies based on a "powder scale". Was it THAT bad? No, Powder was worse.

2. Johnny Mnemonic. (Keanu Reeves) This movie was so bad that we felt cheated out of our movie money, and that was before movies cost $9 and we had 3 kids! That started our movie hopping days where we'd get a 2-for-1. Since then we have repented of our sins and pay for each movie that we see.

3. Crash. (Don Chedle) I know people rave about this one and it is supposed to be some amazing commentary on our day, but Bill and I had to turn it off and return it was THAT offensive. We both used to work in a hardware store and have heard our share of swearing, bad jokes, and racism, but this movie had me cringing. I wish they could have made their point without all the crap, but I suppose that was the point.

4. Napoleon Dynamite. OK now, calm down. I know you all think this movie was hilarious and it may be for a bunch of high school students sitting around with nothing better to do. It had a lot of great lines in it to quote, which may very well be reason enough to entertain yourself. BUT, imagine that you have no idea what it's about but everyone you know is raving about it and you think you are going to see a REAL movie. Then, you and your husband rent it, have to return it the next day, and sit down to watch it at 11 at night when you are already tired. When it was over I said to Bill, "I feel two hours stupider having watched this movie." Then we went to bed.

5. From Dusk Till Dawn. (George Clooney) This was a great movie until the vampires showed up. We were sure we had accidentally changed channels. We didn't. Bill went to bed but I had to stay up just to see how ridiculous it got. Since then we have banned all Quentin Tarantino films.

6. This Boy's Life and The Basketball Diaries (Leonardo DiCaprio) I rented these during my "in-love-with-Leo" days. Oh, shut up, you all know he was hot! Anyway, they both probably helped him grow as an actor, but they were just a little too revealing for me. I guess I don't want to know all the awful details of people's lives, even if (or especially if) it is real. (Bill didn't see either of these, he wasn't in love with Leo)

7. Ms. Congeniality 2 and Speed 2. Sandra Bullock just needs to stay away from sequels, although the eye-candy won't stop Bill from renting them.

Well, we were sure that it would be hard to list a bunch of flops but it wasn't. We did have to go and look up the names of several of them but we were laughing as we recalled some of the more stupid points. "Are you going to prom?" Seriously, somebody should have a Napoleon party so we can find this movie amusing. We both have seperate, hilarious memories of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, so I'm sure we can find the humor in this Dynamite guy. "What is your name? What is your favorite color? What is your quest?"

1 comment:

April said...

First of all, you are right about Crash, the crap was the point. That was the commentary, Americans are crap but when push comes to shove we can be nice to one another. Secondly, Napoleon Dynamite is watched so you can quote it and laugh hysterically with your friends. You probably needed to watch it around 2am instead of 11. Slap happy works wonders. I have a worst movie for you, Netforce. I slept through this thing and I NEVER sleep through movies. It was horrible. I would also add a Charlie Sheen movie about aliens. I can't even remember it's name. I left from the dollar theater with my date and we both agreed that we should get our dollar back. And lastly...April, blue, no no no, yelloooooooooo!