Q: Why does a six year old dump an entire bottle of baby oil on the bathroom mat and surrounding floor?

A (#1): Because she thought we had more.
A (#2): Because she was mad at her sister.

I remained quite calm, thank you very much. Calm enough to get from lame answer #1, to reality answer #2. Ugh.

Two Seconds Is Too Long

I had a nightmare that Payton drowned. Not like in a pool or a lake or anything like that. Not like a fluke accident. It was nothing but 2 seconds of water running while I leaned over to search for something I dropped on the ground. The exact situation could never happen the way I dreamed it, especially because he was an infant in the dream, but the reality of 2 seconds has really hit home. And the feeling of complete helplessness as I was trying to perform CPR on an infant whose lungs had already filled with water will probably never leave me.

Anyway... watch your kids around water! Bathtub, swimming pool, kiddie pool, 5 gallon water pail, dog dish... YIKES! I don't want to know anyone that loses a child in this manner.

NTS: Comfort Kyra More

This morning, while nursing Payton in the bedroom, I heard Tasha yelling at Kyra. Again. And again. And again. It's nothing new, and it pretty much happens on any given day at any given time. There is no rhyme or reason to it, and believe me (!), I have tried to figure it out. I have also tried pretty much everything to put an end to it and not much seems to work. There just seems to be no empathy in that little one. She just honest to goodness can't see/feel how her actions are affecting the other people around her. A friend of mine said that some kids you have to teach that to. That's my new quest- how to teach empathy.

Anyway, this morning I opted not to yell at Tasha, not to send her to her room, not to "talk" with her about it (because that usually ends in yelling and room sending), and quite honestly, not to deal with Tasha about it. I just went into the kitchen and kissed Kyra on the head. Then I hugged her, pushed her head up and gave her another kiss on the nose.

"What's with all the kissing and hugging?" Kyra asked.

"Oh, I just think you've had a rough morning. You've been yelled at a lot and I know that doesn't feel really good, does it?" I replied.

"No. It doesn't" (not in her pouting crying attitude or mean voice, just matter of factly)

"I just figured you could use some lovin' and I thought I'd tell you how much I appreciate you and how hard you try to please your sister some times," was my final word and then I walked out of the room to finish getting ready to leave.

Do you know what that little stinker Tasha did? She apologized to Kyra! The second I turned the corner of the room, she said, "I'm sorry I yelled at you Kyra." What a little $#@*!!! I swear to you, I will never figure that kid out. But if I do, you'll be the first to know.

WW: I Told Tasha to Go to Her Room, "'Til Your Father Comes Home!"

Things That Make Me Go- "HAH!"

I received a Mother's Day special from a diaper company. Just what every mother wants on her special day- diapers. Yeah actually, it is, if they are a good quality at a low price.



The idea of gluten-free, dairy-free macaroni and cheese. Yep, I'll say it again, macaroni (gluten) and cheese (dairy).



My 11 year old asked me "mom, doesn't hopes, wishes, blessings, and prayers all mean the same thing?" Pretty much, yes. She was reading off of a school flier asking us to create a "prayer flag" with hopes, wishes, blessings, and prayers for the school. I imagine if it used the word 'or' in place of 'and' it would make more sense. I just thought it amusing that my 6th grader was smarter than the 3 Waldorf certified teachers in charge of this celebration.



My mom will now send me 5 emails within 5 minutes of each other, each with a separate subject. She does this because she knows if there is one question in a lengthy email I will not respond until I know all the answers. (a question like, "when is the last day of school?") The funny thing is, if I answer 4 emails, I will try to find the answer to that last one just to say I got to them all.



Men. They are just hilarious. (When they are not being stupid. But really they are hilarious then as well.)

Calling In Sick

When I was working and going to school I often times would do both while sick. I'd lay my head on my desk while going through the motions and listening to the lecture. What did the teacher care, I was just a number and I attended class that day. I'd stand at my cash register sipping my Coke and eating crackers while dishing off most responsibility to the other employees that felt fine. They didn't mind because at least I was there and they didn't have to cover the things that I could do like ring up customers and answer phones. They were grateful for what I could give.

So what does it look like when you call in sick as a mom? Are we allowed to? Will life as we know it end and the home stop functioning properly? Will the children feel unloved and abandoned? Will our husbands fire us? And what is our job anyway?

I was listening to the radio last week and they said that if you added up all the jobs and responsibilities that a mother does in any given week, she would make well over $100,000 a year. Right on, I thought. Then I started thinking about what those jobs were and what I would actually get paid to do them. Janitor? I would have been fired. Cook? Average pay, I believe. Nurse? Eh, it's hit or miss if I have band aids in the house.

But who really gets paid the big bucks? The CEO's, the Presidents and owners of successful companies. And for some of those owners, is it really the pay and financial increase, or is it the reward of seeing something you've created from the ground up actually make a difference in the world?

I overheard a phone conversation at the library a while ago where a man was talking to someone that was trying to sell him something. He finally ended the call by saying, "listen, I'd like to make the decision here, but you're talking to the CEO. My wife is the President of this family and I have to check with her first." I hope his wife caught wind of that discussion and feels her infinite worth as a contributor to their family and society in general.

A friend recently posted that mothers and teachers are two of the primary wealth contributors to society. Right on, I'm both. But where's my wealth?

• It's in the eyes of my children as they laugh and play.
• It's the student that can read and his parents that are grateful.
• It's the youth that make my Wednesday nights delightful.
• It's the relationships that form and endure through the tough times.
• It's the inflection in my daughters voices as they repeat common sayings around our house and the friends that tell me how much they sound like me.
• It's seizing the moment to capture a good time.

And most importantly, it's today. The day that I'm calling in sick from most of my responsibilities, eating crackers, sipping on a Coke, and hopefully won't go under. I'd like to think that I've set up this business I like to call home in a way that lets the other employees take charge. We don't have to put up the "Closed" sign because the President isn't feeling well. The 11 year old can start laundry and cook dinner. The 6 year old makes a fine babysitter. And the CEO will come home and pull a second shift because he's just as devoted to this company as the President is.

Dear Bill,

Seventeen years ago today was our wedding day. It was beautiful, fun, silly, eventful, and crazy! We were married in the morning, had lunch with your family, set up for the reception, partied with all our friends and then went back to our hotel room. The one your parents reserved for us. The one that had the twin beds. Yep, remember that? Our honeymoon suite had twin beds. Just what, exactly, was your mother trying to tell us? Oh well, it all worked out in the end, and they weren't even charged for the broken nightstand.

We didn't make plans for today. No special date, dinner, or movie. It was just another day and that's OK. No cards, no gifts, no apologies, and certainly no obligations. Just the way we both like it. At one point I even thought to myself, "nobody besides us even knows today is any different than any other day." Well, my mom did and I was sure our friend Sue would because she remembers all that jazz. I started to get sad that we didn't do something special to commemorate these past 17 years, but then I knew what I always know: it's not necessary. This day is not the day that defines us. It's all the other times that matter most...

• It was last week when we sat in the chapel at the temple waiting for a sealing to start and I felt like I was 18 and holding your hand for the first time.
• It was the baseball game we attended on an hours notice while I was still pregnant with Payton.
• It was the day you sounded unsure of something on the phone and I met you for lunch and we worked everything out.
• It was the text message you sent at just the right time.
• It was the game you muted to find out how mutual went.
• It was the dishes you did because you knew I'd had a long day.
• It was the way you didn't yell at me when I got the car impounded for being stupid.
• It was the back massage that was just a back massage... and the one that wasn't.

But most importantly, it really was today. This day that I inadvertently made fry bread for dinner. Fry bread reminds me of the fair. and last time either of us went to the fair was while we were dating. You didn't even remember. I couldn't remember who we went with. Then the girls started asking questions. "When was your first kiss?" Like I remember!?! But you did. How sweet was that? "What was your first date?" My face still hurts from smiling so much. And then we recalled the World Series that we watched together and the baseball movies that we shared as a common interest.

We abandoned the table and the dishes, got the kids in their jammies and plugged in a VHS tape of Field of Dreams. I couldn't place why we both liked this movie so much until tonight. That couple is so us. They are nuts and they joke around and poke fun at each other. They get each other and so do we. Even better, Kyra gets it. She sat in the chair tonight giggling when she knew what was going to happen. I've caught her giggling at us as I call you a jerk and you demand something from your woman. I've found myself telling her quite often lately that her parents are nuts. Again, she giggles and tells me that she knows. I believe she likes that about us and so do I. Thanks for not taking life too seriously, it would really be a drag.

I don't remember when I changed from saying, "love you" to "love us". It was probably shortly after I responded to your "I love you" with a resounding, "shut up!" Anyway, Happy Anniversary Babe. Seventeen years and counting. We should throw a party at 20!

Love us,

H

Shameful, I Know

In order to switch the laundry, fold the clothes, put them away, hang wet jeans on the line, heat up and eat my breakfast, and check my email...I plopped Payton down on the bed with his basket of "toys" and a Baby Einstein video. Yeah, TV at 6 months, I know. Shameful.

Ya gotta be impressed with his unique toys though: a tube of lotion, an empty lemon juice container, saline nose drops, a pretty green plastic party cup, a spoon, and an oxygen mask.

Of course you know why he's naked, right? His diaper leaked. Again. His clothes were washing.

"Hooray, no spam here!"

That's what my computer told me today when I deleted the 99 messages in the spam box. The 99 emails that were trying to sell viagra, sex pills, and fake watches. Nice combination, huh? I don't empty that folder very often but now I will. I like it when my computer cheers me on.

"Hooray!"

Some Things are NOT Bloggable

That being said, these were the players:

• a mom
• a 6 month old
• automatic flushing toilets
• automatic air hand dryers
• poo, cloth diapers, and a sling
• the itsy bitsy spider

Use your imagination. I'm sure your story is a lot funnier and entertaining that the actual truth.

Hope you have a happy Monday!!!

Breakfast for Dinner

On Sunday, when I'm at a loss for what to make for dinner I usually end up with breakfast. We've had a late lunch and possibly a nap anyway. After you wake up, you need breakfast, right? I'm not really a fan of breakfast for breakfast, especially not anything sweet, and definitely not blah pancakes. I like some umph to my pancakes, no syrup, but still a little fluffy. Allrecipes did not fail me and the key ingredient, orange juice, was growing in my backyard.

Orange Whole Wheat Pancakes

In a blender combine until smooth:

3 egg whites

1/3 cup applesauce

1 cup of orange juice

1/4 tsp lemon extract

In a bowl mix up:

1 1/4 cup whole wheat flour

2 TBL sugar

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

Mix 'em both together, just until moistened. Put 2 TBL at a time on a hot griddle coated with cooking spray. Flip and cook like typical pancakes. (Do you really need instructions on this?!)

Umm. Yumm.

White Cheese Chicken Lasagna I made this when my fridge broke and I had spinach, chicken, and mozzarella cheese defrosting. I actually had ricotta and fresh parsley in my fridge, which is very odd. The cooking gods must have known appliance failure was in my future. I used spiral noodles 'cuz I don't do lasagna. Lots of cream and butter in this baby- a heart attack waiting to happen.

Chicken Scampi Silly chicken, scampi is for shrimp! Well, not in my house. This was made for dinner twice in one week, I believe. I subbed shrimp in a couple times when I made it for myself for lunch. Serving it with quinoa is OK, but noodles are better. I also cut the chicken into pieces instead of strips- it pains me to watch my little yahoos try to cut meat sometimes. (My big yahoo does fine!)

Steak Diane with Rosemary Potatoes works great with beef strips as well, 'cuz I'm afraid of steak and don't like to pound it out. This has many of my favorite ingredients: butter, cream, rosemary, worchestershire sauce, and mushrooms. Yum.

Buffalo Style Chicken Pizza I went through a buffalo wing sauce phase there for a while- putting it on all types of chicken, including the nugget form before I cooked them. This pizza was delish. Use whatever pizza crust you like, spread the dressing (ranch or blue cheese) on like you would sauce, and you can just drizzle the hot sauce over the chicken if you don't want to dirty another bowl like me.

Four Cheese Margherita Pizza You know I made this just because it has "margherita" in the title. Actually, I'm not a big fan of regular pizza pizza, especially not with red meat on it. I'm always looking for the non-red sauce, veggie, to-die-for recipe for pizza. The big hit on this one are the fresh tomatoes and basil, and feta cheese. Can't go wrong there!

Rosemary Chicken with Sausage and Potatoes We had this for dinner tonight and before they tasted it both Bill and Kyra said, "this is a keeper." I used a keibasa sausage and chicken breasts cut into pieces, along with the 5 potatoes I had left. This is basically a no-measure dish- my kind of cookin'. I also put it out on the grill to cook 'cuz my oven is done broke.

Green Onion-Parmesan Mornay Sauce I don't know what "mornay" is but we licked the pan clean on this sauce. I served it over noodles and chicken.

So, there you have it. That's what I've been doin' for a while now. The other night I made some chicken in the crock pot and I usually shred it into the broth that I cook it in. It then makes for a fairly dry topping for noodles. This time I pulled out the chicken and made a sauce with the liquid. Oh yeah. I'm good. I'd give you the recipe, but I made it up and I doubt I could duplicate it.

That's right folks, she can cook! It's a miracle.

Not really. I just have to WANT to cook. It's happening more and more these days.

R.O.F.L.

Rolling On the Floor Laughing (for you non-texters)

I'm a fan of allrecipes.com. I can search for anything and find it. I can list ingredients and get something for dinner. I can list ingredients I don't want, and not have them. Whatever. I like it because they send me a recipe every day which makes me think about dinner, which, in turn, gets me to cook dinner. Allrecipes.com has gotten me to cook. Thank you.

I sort of like that there are many takes on certain foods. Take, for instance, a search for "tuna casserole". How many ways can you combine tuna, noodles, and a cream soup? Apparently 56 different ways. Some have cheese, some veggies, some crushed potato chips, and some have french fried onions. How do you pick? Well, I'd not pick one with peas if I don't like peas. If I don't have potato chips, I don't think I'll pick that one. Seriously, with 56 recipes, I can be picky.

So I read the reviews. Ugh. The reviews. But you kind of have to read at least some of the reviews because they are helpful and sometimes there is a drastic mistake in the original recipe. (I read several comments on a chicken recipe that said the chicken was burnt...apparently the original directions said to cook it at 450 for something like 45 minutes. Yeesh. It was a typo, should have been 350.)

But here's where some people crack me up. (Bear with me, I'm almost there.) These are the first 2 comments on the Easy Tuna Casserole recipe I decide to go with:

Reviewed on Jan. 14, 2008 by ChgoFoodieGal
The recipe's fine as is. I don't understand the need on the part of some to completely re-write the recipe. If you do that, you've created a NEW recipe, so why bother rating this one, as is? (Am I gonna be banned/kicked off the recipe.com site now for pointing out rudeness?) Just curious. :) This is a new take on the tuna casserole recipe. You either like it or you don't. I think it's fine, as written. Thank you to the creator for posting their creation.

Reviewed on Oct. 23, 2008 by Bennybbc
Great recipe but I'm completely in agreement with the review and comments by, "ChgoFoodieGal". And in that spirit I made some changes to the recipe. For the macaroni I substituted flour, baking soda and baking powder. For the tuna I substituted eggs. For the onions I substituted oil. For the cheese I substituted buttermilk. I ended up with a batter that I cooked on a hot griddle and ended up with pancakes. But it was a great tuna casserole recipe! ;~} Honestly, making a minor change to a recipe you're reviewing is one thing but most of these reviews have changed so many ingredients that I don't see why they bother to review it. It kind of misses the point of posting recipes with specific ingredients, doesn't it? This recipe is either good as it is, (or with a minor modification) or it isn't.

That being said, my noodles are cooking, I'm subbing cream of mushroom for chicken and possibly adding some corn or peas. A-HA! L.M.A.O.

Enjoy Your Mother's Day!

I love the spirit of you...

the grace with which

you welcome each challenge,

the childlike wonder

that still colors

your days.

I love the originality of you...

your willingness

to stand out from the crowd...

your unique perspective on what's happening in the world

and in your life.

I love the wisdom of you...

the way you trust your intuition...

your unfailing commitment

to doing the right thing.

And most of all,

I love the heart of you...

the genuine compassion, empathy,

and friendship

you offer to everyone you know.

I guess it's pretty clear...

I love everything about you.

-Hallmark expressions

NTS: Do Not Read Ingredients on Unknown Meat

Especially just before cooking.

Especially on foreign meat products.

Especially if said meat product comes in a "casing".

It could ruin your whole breakfast.

Ah, Sweet Non-Driving Bliss

I can tell I will sleep better tonight, even though I really won't need to. Tomorrow I do not have to drive to school at all. Not once. AND, the girls will be going to school. Sweet bliss. I think I will stay in my PJ's all day. Maybe I'll pop some popcorn and watch a morning movie. Oh, the possibilities!!!

Not once. Did I mention that? Not once will I have to enter my vehicle with any children in it. I'm sure I won't need to go to the store or do any other normal mundane tasks that involve driving. Ahhh. This is as close to a day off as I'll get, I believe. I think I deserve it though, I've driven to school 6 times in the past 2 days. Heck, my car deserves the day off.

Ahhh, the sweet, non-driving possibilities are endless.

(Oh, and April, I took a shower this evening to combat the "my hair is too greasy to skip a shower Friday morning" problem. I'm so smart! PJ day, here I come!)

WW: (oops, spoke too soon- felt the tooth this morning!)

WW: Round 4 of "Teething" is Over...Still.No.Teeth.

Really? Do I Look That Dumb?

I was standing around waiting for Tasha one day holding Payton on my hip facing out. I was chatting with a friend and swaying back and forth to keep the little man happy. Tasha ran up, said hi, then oogled over her baby brother. And by oogle I mean she said, "hi buddy" and pulled on his legs and hugged him and practically pulled me over in the process. Then, she notices his boogies and proceeds to pick them out of his nose for him. He fuses, a little, but nothing like he does when I try to do it. She has little fingers.

I chuckle and explain to this mother how Payton puts up with the boogie picking better for Tasha than he does me. I cracks me up that she does this and it's a great help for me. Then my friend says, "You should try putting him in the shower. The steam from the hot water really loosens that up and the water washes it away." She said it in that really sweet, supportive type of way, that is meant to enlighten and help me in my quest to be a super mom.

Really? Do I look stupid, to you? I'm 37 years old, mother of my third child, and you don't think I know about the shower trick? You don't think I've used the shower trick? Seriously? Do I look THAT dumb?

I just love it when people impart their wisdom on me. It makes me chuckle.

"I know who I am...I am a nobody."

These are not my words, they are a quote of a quote of a quote. What? In stake conference today, President Clegg said them referencing a conference talk by Elder Andersen in which he quoted Boyd K. Packer. I'm not sure that makes much more sense. Anyway, you can read his conference talk here:

"Come unto Him." by Elder Neil L. Andersen, but here's the exact quote:

As (President Packer) addressed the congregation, he said, “I know who I am.” Then after a pause, he added, “I am a nobody.” He then turned to me, sitting on the stand behind him, and said, “And, Brother Andersen, you are a nobody too.” Then he added these words: “If you ever forget it, the Lord will remind you of it instantly, and it won’t be pleasant.”

I think I am understanding what this quote is supposed to be suggesting, but it seems contradictory to everything I've ever been taught and tried to teach. It's talking about humility. He's trying to instill in us that we are not the great ones, the Lord is. He's trying to teach us that if we are prideful we will be struck down. I guess I just don't like the wording because some people will only hear, "I am a nobody" and that is what will stick with them. This wouldn't be the first time I've had an issue with the way that President Packer has said something. Maybe that's what keeps me humble. Maybe that's what makes me a nobody. (See, it doesn't sound good, does it?)

Elder Andersen talks about how we share a faith in Christ with many people in our communities and around the world and that we shouldn't minimize other people's faith just because they do not share our exact same beliefs. People all around us believe that family is important, they continually do good, they make sacrifices, they are unselfish, and they prayer to the same Heavenly Father that we do. And, Heavenly Father loves them just as he loves us. And by "them" and "us", I mean you and I, people we know and people we don't, people all around.

But how is it that we can be beloved children of God, children of a divine birthright, and nobodies at the same time? I'm just trying to figure out how to teach this to my children and the young women while at the same time convincing them of their individual worth. I worry about the wording because it can be misunderstood. Many people walk around their whole lives thinking that they are nobodies. They think they don't matter, don't make a difference, and don't have a say in what happens to them. That is the complete opposite of what we know to be true in the eyes of God. Every spirit matters to Him.

Any ideas on how to teach both concepts? Do you teach one before the other? Is the lesson on humility only important to those that become prideful? HELP!