Dear PT,

I am not:

• a stepping stool
• a chair
• a towel
• a tissue
• a jungle gym
• a punching bag
• a Stretch Arm Strong
• a balance beam
• a trampoline

Please stop treating me as such.

With sincere love and care,

Mom

If Looks Could Kill

The morning didn't start off great...

Kyra couldn't find her ID and thought waking me up would help. It doesn't, because I don't know where it is. So I lay in bed praying (seriously) that she will get it together, retrace her steps and find it. She doesn't, but comes in to cry to me. That REALLY doesn't help because that just makes me mad. I get up, yell, send her out the door without it. Because I yelled, PT and Tasha now get up, which is fine because I want to get into the shower.

After my shower, my head is clear and I can think clearly... I ask Tasha if she's seen Kyra's ID and she said yesterday she was wearing it. A-ha, a clue! She was wearing it yesterday when Tasha came home. She was playing with PT in his room. Is it possible that PT got it? And what would PT do with it? Yep, the same thing he does with everything these days...he puts it inbetween his bed and wall, which means it's under the bed with the bickit. I send Tasha under and she comes up with it within seconds.

I call Millie (she drives K to school), she says Kyra was worse by the time they got to school (mainly because they discussed what would happen because she didn't have her ID- a normal child would calm down at this discussion, but this is Kyra we're talking about here), and she even said she felt sick. I imagine she did, being Kyra and all, feel very sick to her stomach. Anyway, I decide to take the stupid ID down to the school but determine that this is my one trip to school today so Kyra can ride the bus home. I don't know where her bus pass is though, so I take Tasha's, hoping they don't check it on the bus.

I call Glenda so I can pick something up, drop Tasha off, forget to pick up the stuff from Glenda, and drive to Kyra's school. I spend 15 minutes in the office waiting for Kyra to finish taking notes on 3 slides in LA (as instructed by her teacher). This would be fine if I had a book and no toddler, but I don't and I do. After searching AZ Parenting mag for balls, flowers, babies, and (woohoo!) Buzsh, and pulling him off the chair that leads to the alarm on the wall, I head outside. BIG mistake because it's stinkin' hot outside. FINALLY Kyra makes it to the office and we take care of business. She's better but now I'm pissed. SHe has a sticker on her shirt that says, "I don't have an ID tag today". Seriously? They branded her! This from a school that has a no bullying policy. UGH.

We leave school and go to SUnflower and this goes well. PT likes to throw the fruits and vegetables into the cart and they hardly get bruised.

I forgot to ask if they sell stamps at Sunflower, so I go to the post office where they apparently don't have stamp machines anymore so you have to wait in line with all the folks mailing packages to purchase said stamps from a super helpful, and cheery post office worker (snicker, snicker). I walk in the door, shift left, then right on past the 2 people at the end of the counter bickering over what to do with their stuff, and get at the end of the line. Apparently the bickering people WERE in line because the lady gives me a look. Yep, THAT kind of look. The kind where you should be visiting me at the morgue right now because I'd be dead. She pushed the man down to be right behind me as they continued to discuss their papers and she continued to give me the stink eye. Whatever! PT and I move to stand right behind her. I consider letting him dance all over the counter and stomp on her stuff, but I take the high road. By the time we make it to second in line (only behind stink eye lady) one of the three post office workers decides to close her line. Now there are 2 workers and a line of people, nothing new. 5 minutes later, I walk out with my stamps in hand and letters deposited, while stink eye lady is still working out her problems.

"Bickit"

We've been wondering for months what "bickit" means. We've repeated it, questioned Payton, and looked around wondering. I FINALLY figured it out! He has said it in every room of the house, except the kitchen.

1. Yesterday morning Payton wakes up to nurse at 5:30, finishes, rolls over, "bickit" and falls asleep.
2. Last night I'm carrying him past the crib full of all kinds of stuff because he doesn't sleep there. He's just showered, points to the crib, "bickit", and we continue on to get dressed for bed. No cries or concerns over whatever bickit is.
3. He takes me to his bed to nurse this afternoon, looks under his bed, "bickit". He follows it up with a "oh no" and a "ah gone", shaking his hands because the bickit is all gone. He crawls up on the bed to nurse because milk is way more important that whatever this bickit thing is. (at this point I think I've figured it out but I'm distracted by something and forget to look under the bed)
4. I'm at the computer in the livingroom. He points, smiles (I kid you not!) and says "bickit". Yup, that's a bickit and it's exactly what I thought it was. There's more than one in this house and the one in his room is gone, best I can tell. It probably is under his bed.

What's YOUR guess?

Payton Speaks

Payton will repeat just about anything you say to him, ask him to say (if he's in the mood), or wish you never said and he never repeated. Most of the time it's stinkin' cute, but sometimes he can be a trouble maker. Here are a few of his best moments:

(of course, we all have names) "mom, mommy... dad, daddy... Tash, Tasha... Keya... Bee-y" my favorite are when he wants his sisters to do something or they aren't paying attention; "taaa-SHA!" and "Keee-YA!"

(repeating you, one word at a time) "I...wuf...mommy" he won't say "you", won't even try. He'll repeat any family member's name though.

(more affection) "hoe chew" with his arms up, dancing in front of you to pick you up. It's only sweet if it is followed by "hug", which is rarely.

(a few of his favorite foods) "peeza" was originally his word for all food. "oh-gurt" which he now just likes to get out and smear anywhere he can before I take it away. "eg" is his favorite breakfast food, he'll eat an entire serving of them at IKEA. "ap-oe" he's still mostly biting it to pieces and spitting out all the skin, but it entertains him for quite a while and is fairly easy to clean up. Sometimes he'll even spit the skin into my hand, lucky me! He has a word for ice cream but I can't figure it out yet.

(usually done while pointing his finger) "Bickit!" We have no idea what this means.

(any time the water is running) "showuh" He mostly likes to drink water from the shaving cream lid and doesn't like to get clean. Typical boy.

(while looking in a mirror) "paytin" SOOOOO CUTE! The first time he did this I squeezed him and teared a bit.

(when he was ready to leave) "mom...van...go"

(a declaration) "dun!" or "ah dun!"

(he agrees) "hoe-kay" usually said with a sweet little smile, a jump up, or a cute little run in the right direction. I like it especially when it is "hoe-kay, mommy".

(he doesn't agree) "NO!"

(he really doesn't agree) "NO-wAH!"

(polite manners) "tank oo" and "peas"

(to get under his sisters skin) "Nya nya nya nya naaah!" said with an awful face, hands on hips, shifting his weight back and forth. I'd get upset but he totally got this one from Tasha. Tasha gets really angry, almost cries, and screams "shut up" to him. This, of course, is what he wants.

(a variation of the above) "Nya, nya nya... shup!" This is him acknowledging that he's not going to make anyone upset but wishes that he could. I try hard not to laugh.

(he's now, officially, a Toy Story finatic) "Moo-ee?...Buzsh?" We watch one a day, fortunately there were 3 made. Again, he's cute, I just can't resist. I'm so in trouble with this little boy. I bought him a Buzz action figure and he lost it. We searched and searched. When we came back into the living room he kept saying "ar, ar, ar..." I thought he'd seen something on TV. Then it occured to me that he was asking me to check in his ear for it. Poor guy, mom doesn't find stuff in your ear to pull out, only dad does that. I held him close and almost cried.

(with a wave) "bye bye...balaLAla" see you later.

Here's to some even BETTER days...

The 13 year old girl on the left entered 8th grade today, after 3 hours of debate over her schedule.

The bear stayed home with Payton and I. The house was calm and quiet for 5 hours.

The 7 year old girl on the right entered 2nd grade and declared it, "AWESOME!"

So, raise your glass and "clink!"

Blah, blah, blah...

I bought a 4pk of Romantic Comedies at Target for $5. Bill was going to bed so I quizzed him on which one he absolutely wouldn't be watching so I could plug it in. Michelle Pfeiffer was in, as was "the Spiderman chick" (Kirsten Dunst), so I was down to 2 flicks: a PG with Hilary Duff and one with Freddie Prinze Jr. Yeah, I don't think Bill can handle Freddie, even if it has a bunch of supermodels in it.

You can plug an iPod shuffle directly into your stereo system if you have the appropriate jack. The jack costs $20, which makes birthday shopping for Kyra super easy this year. I'm glad the kid knew what she wanted.

I was trying to figure out why I knew the actor Paul Bettany. When it occurred to me what he had been in I explained it to Bill in this order: he was the naked guy, in that movie, you know- the naked guy, umm- with Heath Ledger, he yelled a lot. At this point Bill jumped in and saved me, knowing the movie and agreeing that he was "the naked guy" even though neither of us came up with the name of the flick.

I went to Changing Hands to purchase a gobbler game by Blue Orange. They didn't have anything by this company, even though Blue Orange said they were a retailer. Apparently Changing Hands traded up, or down. All their toys were by Melissa and Doug. I hate Melissa and Doug. Mostly because they didn't have my game.

Only in AZ would someone consider a lightening storm reason enough to gather their family into the hallway for protection. Yes, I know her, we laugh about it, and I love her anyway. Do we really consider monsoon season having "weather"?

Payton is now the kid who will repeat anything that you say. Watch out. You wouldn't want to be the one that taught him some inappropriate phrase now, would you?

We went to Kyra's meet the teacher night. First hour, good. Second hour, not-so-good. She is signed up to be in a Men's Chorus. It was just downhill from there. I'm sure I'll be spending an eternity down at the office tomorrow trying to straighten this out.

Is there anything better than chicken, hot sauce, and blue cheese?

Well, maybe this Caramelized Nut Trio from Trader Joes.

I just read that during menopause a woman's body will suck fat cells from her butt and move them to her stomach to make up for the lost fat created by missing estrogen. (or something like that) Seriously? It's not bad enough that our hormones go out of whack making us mental patients on most days, we now get a saggy butt and something much more than a "muffin top" to go with it. I don't think those are the kind of curves we really want.

I'm going to be 40. Not someday. THIS YEAR! It's awesome. I have an idea for a celebration, but am looking for alternative suggestion. Give it up folks!

I'm thinking of adopting a new motto: "Think Less. Do More. Live Simple."

Yup, you heard it here first: I'm going to try to stop thinking so much. Of course, that was several days ago and here I sit, blabbering my thoughts to a keyboard.

What are the Chances?

Kyra and I exited the Credit Union and walked to the car. I tried my key in the door and it wouldn't open. I jiggled it, I tried to lock then unlock it, because sometimes that helps, and I pulled it in and out repeatedly. Kyra was loosing patience and told me to jut toss her the keys. Yes, sometimes that helps. Sometimes the key only works on the passenger side door. She tried and tried and it still didn't work. I bammed on the window and yelled at the stupid car because that helps. She tossed the keys back and I tried again, to no avail. This is why I don't drive this dumb Nissan.

Then Kyra said, after peering in the window, "MOM! This isn't even our car!"

What are the chances of there being 2 faded maroon Nissan Sentras with chipping paint and missing hubcaps in the same parking lot with less than a dozen parking spaces?

A Forgotten Birthday Greeting

As most people know, I am really bad about remembering birthdays. Out of nowhere I texted a friend this afternoon...

Me: We haven't gone to a movie and summer break is over this weekend. Blah!
Friend: Where's my happy birthday?
Me: That was my intro :) wait for it...
Friend: K. Lol

it took a few minutes to have Tasha help me pick out all the cute faces to add to the text...
Me: HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! From (dude with glasses face) Bill, (laughing girl face) H, (winking gal face) Kyra, (chica with shades on) Tasha, and (winking dude face) Payton.

then it took a few more minutes to gather the family for the birthday greeting yell...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, from us!

Friend: It's very cute. Thank you. We are gonna swim at my parents house. After, are we going to a movie with hot guys in it?

Me: U asking me out 2 c hot guys on your birthday? I'm in:) tell me when and where.

So that's how we do impromtu birthdays around here. We had a good time and saw Ryan Gosling's hot, hot bod (not photoshopped). Wow, it could have been my birthday too!