Ugh.

I reread that last post about pie and a few things came to mind:

1. I should not post or read posts about food while hungry. It just makes me hungrier.
2. There were so many grammatical errors and weird sentence structures and wrong verb tenses that I don't even know where to start to fix it so I'm going to leave it. (I' m pretty sure this last sentence was a good example of what I'm talking about.)
3. I may have lost my ability to write.

Ugh. What happened to me? Will I get it back or am I ruined for.e.ver?

NTS: All Pie is NOT Created Equal

I am not a pie baker. That's my mom. She bakes pie like it's no body's business. I once made an apple pie that her husband raved about and I was completely embarrassed. I had used a frozen crust that I'm sure had expired over a year ago and I kind of miss-matched the ingredients from a Lion House recipe because I didn't have everything on hand. I never could have duplicated that thing. I like berry pie and made a decent cherry one once, but I had red stained fingers from pitting all those dang things. In my opinion, the only one I've really gotten right was a simple triple berry (yep, from the Costco bag), store-bought, fold out, Pillsbury crust. Yum. Serve it warm with a little real vanilla ice cream.

Best pie I've ever had? Mom's currant pie. 1990. She used the last jar of currants that her mother had canned. I believe my brother and I cried while eating the last slice. We've tried to find good currants since, but just can't.

Best pie I've ever eaten out? Pie Town, New Mexico. Anything they serve.

Best pie this time of year? Pumpkin. From Costco. Don't even waste your time trying to bake one, and accept no substitutions. Well, I imagine someplace like Marie Calendars or something makes a good one with incredibly overpriced tag, but you get more bang for your buck at Costco and you'll need to share it with some friends.

Why am I writing this post? Because I tried to accept a substitution. Fry's had their pumpkin pie on sale for 6 hours only today, while I was there. I bought 2 'cuz they looked just like the pie I love. They are not. It is not even close. I repeat, accept no substitutions because all pie is NOT created equally.

"Men Are Such Pigs"

Bill uttered these words to me after recounting the lecture they received at work on how you are not supposed to put your gum in the Sharps container in the bathrooms. Really? Duh. What moron would do that? Here is Bill's answer:

"It's probably the same idiot that takes a dump and wipes his boogers all over the stall door, then washes his hands so he can get a paper towel to drop on the floor before he sticks his gum in the small hole of the Sharps container to clog it up."

This is also probably the same guy that got binoculars banned from the University of Phoenix building. Yep, you're not allowed to take any magnifying device of any kind onto the premises. Parking lot included. Why? Some idiot was oogling someone in the parking lot with some binoculars.

"Men are such pigs." (a woman never would have been caught!)

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results."

(Rita Mae Brown "Sudden Death," 1983)

"Time of Your Life"

"Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)"
by Green Day

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Thud!

That was me falling off the bed at 3am this morning.

Who does that? Who actually falls off the bed?

Stupid boys taking up the whole bed! It's a good thing they are cute.

What is is About Engineers?

Is there something in the mind of an engineer that makes it physically impossible for them to leave the world in the state of unbalance? Something is a bit tippy, they have to fix it. They do it without question and without even knowing they are doing it, I believe. Is it a compelling need to balance things? For example:

• I was sewing on a table and an engineer noticed it bobbing up and down with the rythm of the machine. I had gotten used to it and kind of found comfort with the bounce, bounce and hum, hum of the 2 items working in unity as I completed my project. He quickly lifted the leg of the table and adjusted it to level the playing field. Sucked all the joy out of my sewing.
• A card game was completely put on hold as an engineer got up to go get his tools to fix the chair he was sitting on. When questioned he didn't even realize that it could possibly be in conflict to those around him. It was something that needed to be done. Then he fixed all the other chairs that had screws loose.
• Payton was happily rocking a table outside of Einsteins when an engineer joined us. Before sitting down, he folded up a napkin, squatted down to the cast iron leg and carefully placed the napkin under the foot. Poor PT, his fun was over. Onto eating the rocks on the ground.
• It's impossible to play cards with any of them either. Watch them. Their eyes are searching the numbers in the memory banks of their heads to determine who played what and what is left out there. Really? Just play a *&#@ card, you're going to lose anyway!
• And then there's the one that I haven't actually seen physically balance anything. But we've had group conversations and he'll tip his head to one side and get a squinty look, sometimes asking a question or clarification on something. I know what he's doing. He's trying to balance things out in his head, make sense of the chaos that is human nature. Poor guy.
• Oh, and let's not foget the one that really hopes/wishes/believes that people in the world should be able to get along. They should be able to respect one another's needs and desires, while at the same time having their own needs and desires. There is a solution. Balance. He'll search for it all day and night via the internet, blogs, articles, podcasts, etc. More power to him. God speed the way!

Don't they teach these guys in engineer school that the world is not balanced and it's OK? This is clearly why I dropped the thought of becoming an engineer myself and went into teaching. Well, that and the fact that a good 75% of the ASU engineering department gave me the creeps. I'm sure it wasn't any of these fine, outstanding engineers that I personally know now, however.

"Don't Give A Crap"

This was the wise advice that my chiropractor had to offer me last week: "Don't give a crap."

Our family actually missed a night of camping because I was fighting off a migraine on Friday. I was supposed to go into the chiropractor at 1, but that required Tasha to watch Payton while we were there, and her moaning at the idea was the last straw for me. I lost it, whined like a baby, pouted and said, "Fine. I'm not going camping. You can ask your dad to take you." And that was it. I got Payton to sleep, picked up Kyra, whined some more, and told Bill I couldn't get it together to leave that night. Mom was a big flop and life sucked.

Then Bill got home and I could get out for my massage and back/neck cracking. Oh, sweet painful bliss! There is a spot on my left shoulder, at the bottom of what feels like a steel rod of a tendon, that has a knot. The knot should not be there, but it comes and goes with stress. When that therapist pressed down on that spot (with her elbow, mind you), oh sweet mother of all things painful (!) the pressure in my head disappeared. Nothing ever hurt so good and managed the pain so well. She worked relentlessly on both sides of my shoulders finding 4 separate knots and then moved onto my neck. Ugh. That hurt. But alas, the pain, the migraine, and the strained eye-sight was gone.

Then Dr. Lee popped my back. He snapped my neck. He pulled on my head. We discussed the migraines. After eliminating other possibilities (for this one at least) I told him, "I know this is stress induced. There's no doubt about it. This week has sucked. What do I do about that? How do I prevent stress?" Then comes the brilliant answer. The worst, best advice I've ever gotten. Or is it the best, worst advice? I don't know. Either way, I know I can't really follow it, but I can laugh about it and that helps a little.

So if you see me stressed out, popping a vein in my forehead, or worse yet- rubbing the base of my head and squinting my eyes, just repeat the wise advice of my chiropractor: "H, just don't give a crap."

WW: Any Guesses on Where to Find this "Googly-Eyed Monster"?

WW: Really? This is What You Get for $5.95?

Notes from General Conference:

• Priesthood keys
• Be grateful
• Kids, take my hand
• Priesthood keys
• Repentance
• 14 Fundamentals of following the prophet
• Teach with the spirit
• Priesthood keys
• Pornography, bad
• Something about a stupid cow
• Family Proclamation
• Priesthood keys
• Freedom of choice
• 14 Fundamentals of following the prophet, revisited
• Trees are like airplanes and have turbulence :)
• More keys
• More priesthood

It was a good thing I had these: (Thanks, Diane, for the cute idea!)

Naw, in all sincerity, I had a very enjoyable conference weekend. I chuckled each time a speaker said something about the priesthood keys, and was actually quite inspired as Elder Oaks devoted his whole talk to receiving personal revelation, and revelation through your priesthood line. He's quite the man. So was President Eyring as he taught to trust in the Lord.

All good stuff I tell ya. Can't wait 'til I can have it in print. Seriously.