Monday, August 16, 2010

Ugh. What If I'm Really Just Not a Morning Person?

"Early to rise and early to bed..."

BLAH! Makes me want to puke. Or at least stay up late eating ding dongs and chips and salsa and watching scary movies so I'm sure to have nightmares, thus rendering me useless come dawn. I thought some of this attitude would change when I became a mother and had responsibilities. So far, four responsibilities later, no change. It's nearly 11pm at night and I'm just now getting around to opening a school letter that apparently came last week some time. Why would I open it in the daylight hours? All the chattering, hungry, filthy responsibilities are running around at my feet and in my face. I can't get anything done or concentrate with all that jibber-jabber going on.

In my welcome letter the teacher writes, and I quote:

"Your child's educational experience begins upon waking...Try to make your child's waking, readying, and travel to school as pleasant, consistent, and rhythmical as possible, for a child who is awakened gently, has a consistent and timely morning ritual of washing, dressing, etc, and who receives a warm, nourishing protein-filled breakfast, is a child who is ready to begin a day of learning."

See now, if I had read that last sentence in the morning it would have made no sense to me at all. It makes perfect sense to me right now but that doesn't mean I can do it. Well, I could do it if I could start the morning off at 11pm at night. OK, I realize I'm coming off as joking about all this, but I really am sincere. I've tried to be a morning person but it's just not in me. I've met morning people, and it just doesn't rub off. I've even had a stint of a couple of months where I woke up at 5am every day and I tell ya, still not a morning person. I'm perfectly capable of doing stuff and thinking and whatnot, but please don't ask me to interact with people in a "pleasant, consistent and rhythmical" manner. When I was teenager I actually told (maybe screamed) my mom, "can I PLEASE just have a shower before you bombard me with questions?!"

The letter goes on, assuming that you have had a peaceful morning ritual in your home and not the draggingherbuttoutofbedandeatingoatmealinthecarwhileputtingonhershoes experience that is more typical of last year, and says:

"Sometimes travel makes it difficult to sustain the peacefulness of a morning ritual. Please make every effort to let your child's travel to school be as hassle free as possible. Young children especially, need not be exposed to audio book tapes, electronic hand-held games, news, music or inappropriate conversation while traveling to school. parents are encouraged to discuss their expectations with any carpool drivers in order to reach a common understanding."

Double ugh. Tell me now: how am I supposed to drive to school with out some head thumpin' music to drown out the children's inappropriate conversations? Huh? Huh? Answer me this question please! I'm trying very hard to figure out if I'm turning onto Priest or 48th street, I can't redirect conversation amongst elementary school children. If they want to talk poop and pee or Pokemon then that is their business. I can't maintain a coherent thought in my own head, much less come up with appropriate 6 and 7 year old conversation over the whines of 9 month old. Music I tell ya, music is my saving grace. Sorry carpool buddy, this is the way we roll.

So, I'll try with all my might to entertain these values. But, at the end of the morning, I'm going to be happy if Tasha made it to school dressed, 2 unmatched socks, unkempt hair, and a few spoonfuls of oatmeal that she ate while singing, "I am a rock star, I got my rock boots, and I don't need you tonight." It's alright. School will go on and learning will commence.


Moke, Mom and Dad - The Lightburne Family said...

Rhythmic mornings? Gentle awakenings? WTH??? I am definitely NOT a morning person - in fact half this household is that way. The other half...have learned that two of us will sit in a corner for an hour and to LEAVE US ALONE! There. 6:15 - They are 'gently' getting themselves up! I've over here with 'that look' and so far no one has said or done anything aside from waving good morning. On with our day.

H said...

Ya baby! Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! And I always thought Sue was a morning person...

Monique said...

I would love to have gentle rhythmic mornings...but my children won't let me help them have these kind of mornings. So, we are stuck with the regular routine, and go for as rhythmic as we can. My kids are gentle with me.

Monique said...

Should read...they are NOT gentle with me. LOL

April said...

We are so the same person. I hate the mornings. Luckily my kid is self sufficient (I taught him that on purpose). And now that I have a carpool buddy (no worries about the music, I gave it to you silly...) I can wake up at 7:30 make my kid's lunch put a hat on his head, kiss him and send him off by 8am, all with only about three sentences said on my part. That's about all I can handle. My mother knew growing up that you just don't talk to me in the mornings. you don't ask me questions, you don't tell me things. it's not necessary. I can do what I need to do and I don't need anything so shut up! I allowed her to read scriptures pray, but that was it - and only because the prophet told me to. I hate mornings, period. But night, night I love. I am the girl at walmart at 1am because the timing is perfect to paint the laundry room that I just reorganized and cleaned and it just has to be blue now. We'd make a a good team, but of course there would be no talking in the morning. And, not really any looking either because that's just annoying! Great post!