I'm a Beet Farmer!

Notice anything similar about these 2 people?

Well, apparently they are both beet farmers. They hide behind the facade of boring Office employee and mother/teacher, but really they have a passion for beets. So, for all you Office fans you can laugh hysterically as Dwight here makes a big nerd of himself and think so fondly of your good friend that has so much in common with him.

Beets are the only thing I can grow. Or maybe they are just the only thing that no animal or bug wants to eat from my garden. Whatever the case, I've got beets and so does Dwight. I'm embarrassed to put myself with this guy, but what the heck, I'm growing something!!!

FHE: 8 down, 44 to go

I better post this before the feeling of euphoria leaves. My husband rocks, my family gets it, and this FHE thing really can work. I requested that Kyra give a lesson on testimonies because last testimony meeting Tasha wanted to get up but didn't really know what to do. When Bill got home from work I sent him outside with Kyra (yes, outside because it isn't blazing hot) to discuss what she might say. Tasha and I stayed inside to prepare the "treat". We had decided to have dinner during FHE this evening and made mini bagel pizzas as the treat. SUCCESS!!!

Bill stepped up to the plate, defined our evening and lead with the opening prayer.

Tasha lead the music. Yes, she lead it. Right after the prayer she said, "OK, for our song tonight we are going to sing 'Tell Me the Stories of Jesus'". I was bustin' a gut inside because she was so formal. Then she waved her arm back and forth with the Children's song book open in front of her. (While I was finishing up dinner she had gotten the book down in search of a song. She had chosen about a dozen obscure songs that I didn't know before she found this one from our Primary Program.)

Then we ate while Kyra and Dad lead us in a discussion on testimonies. We practiced giving our testimonies and then Bill did it. He challenged us all to bear our testimonies in November. Yep, all of us. After the kids got up I looked at him shaking my head and said, "Where did THAT inspiration come from?" No explanation was needed, he knew EXACTLY what I was talking about. His answer? "Well, it could only have come from one place and I'm not going to deny it."

So ladies, beware when you beg, plead, and pray for your husband to lead your family in righteousness. You never know what is headed your way.

Dear Jensen Family,

I love your blog posts. I love to read them. I love to comment on them. I love to read what other people comment on your blog. I love what Rachel says. I love what Davey says. I love to watch videos of what Sophia says and does. I love the links you post. I love the crazy Youtube stuff you find interesting. I love the list of "things that Davey finds interesting". I love the slide show of your family.

I don't love that I can never access all of these things at the same time. I can't bring your blog up on my computer. I have to to read individual posts through bloglines and then click on only that post to comment. If you have 11 posts in bloglines (like you did tonight) and I can't get to them all for whatever reason then I lose them. They are gone forever, and I am really, really sad. Does anyone else have this problem? Is my computer, or rather, are my computers the only ones that have this problem? After you took off the cost of the war things seemed fine, but then you added the fabulous slide show with all those pictures you must have scanned in because they have to be pre-digital camera age. I have other friends with slide shows and their blogs work fine. My only other thought is that it could be your PYzam flower background, which is totally cute and I don't want you to get rid of, but what good does it do if I can't read your stuff?! Aaargh! Maybe Satan just doesn't want me to be enlightened by you and has cursed my computer connection.

SO, sweet Jensen family. I had 11 posts to read. I got to "Stuff" with the crazy yo-yo guy and the great link to what is too sacred to share, but then I got booted off. I clicked onto your site by accident, the computer sent an error report and then shut down bloglines too. Please send links to the remaining posts so I know what you are up to. You know, what you are doing besides sending Sophia toppling down the stairs and praying for her sweet dreams.

I miss you all! I miss New York! Can't wait for you to move back...to Tempe...to our ward...to buy a house...and send Sophia to Desert Marigold...and live happily ever after.

Love,
H

HUH?!

I wanted to title this post, "What is REALLY wrong with our education system" but that would be rude. I posted earlier that I have been in contact with the AZ Teacher Certification program. In order to obtain a Provisional Elementary Certificate in this state you must have had state approved Structured English Immersion (SEI) training. Fine. I had an ESL endorsement on my original certificate because I chose BLE/ESL teacher training for my final 2 years of schooling. I explained this in the second email that I sent to the certification unit and this is the response that I received (4 hours later, because I think it took a lot of thought):

"You have to apply and allow us to provide you with an evaluation, if your classes don't meet the SEI requirement then you will need to get them prior to applying as they are now part of the requirement to get a Provisional certificate. If you qualify for the full ESL you right you do not need the SEI but, we won't know that until you apply."

So let me see if I've got this right: I have to apply to know if I need the classes but I have to take the classes before I apply. Furthermore, I have to apply to know if I get the full ESL endorsement but I can't do that until I know if I need the SEI which I have to complete before I apply.

Does anyone wonder what is wrong with the public school system? Maybe I'm being too logical.

Tator Tot Floaties

What do you do when you get too many freezer items and you have no place to put the frozen tater tots that you bought for a recipe you are going to have Kyra make later this week? Well silly, you throw them on top of the ice in the ice maker that doesn't make ice, but that still aparently mixes the ice up well enough when dispensing it that it can suck the bag of tots down into the dispensing mechanism. If this happens it will jam the ice dispencer and your husband will graciously disengage the plasic bag from the metal twisty thing, all the while giving you the look that says, "are you really annoyed with ME because YOU jammed a bag of tater tots in the ice?" After you assure him that when you yelled, "BABE!" to get him to come fix this problem your anger was not directed at him, but more at the stupidity of the situation, you both laugh as you look into the ice bin. The tot bag ripped and some fell out. With the fall out came some yummy flakes, all of which could not be salvaged. Your husband fishes out what he can and says that maybe the rest will just freeze to the bottom and we can clean it out later.

HOBY! (I'll get to this later, but since it hit me I had to write it down. Plus it is just a funny way to stop what I was saying earlier and make you realize that I am switching gears now and it is the next day.)

Tasha's home now and happily water painting away. I heated up some leftover homemade chicken noodle soup from last week that really looks and tastes more like a stew even though I added at least 2 more cups of water than Crystal said to add. Oh well. I got a glass of water to drink and just laughed at the light-brown floaties BEFORE I took a sip. It would not have been funny if I had drunk any of the floaties. So much for the freezing idea. G.R.O.S.S.

Now I realize that even after a GNO and plenty of good conversation I am desperate for witty people to talk to. Where are you people?! Can't we all just live in a commune or something and get absolutely nothing done but be quite happy? Crap. I'm never going to move, who would ever understand and love me like my friends right here in PPark ward?! No one I tell you, NO ONE! Anyway, I'm desperate to talk to somebody so I try my preschooler. All I get is this:

T: What is that rabbit's name on Rapunzel? (the Barbie version which is nothing like the real version)
Me: I don't know.
T: I always call him "Toby"
Me: Yeah, that's not right but I can't remember what his name is.
T: The dragon is Penelope.
Me: Yep. Maybe we could look it up in the book. (yes, I have the book version too)
T: Yeah, go do that.
Me: I don't think so. You want to know, go look it up yourself. I'm busy. (busy heating up chicken stew and fishing tots out of my ice, eww)
T: OK. Maybe I can look in the book when I'm done painting or you can when you're not busy.

Well, I guess blogging really isn't being busy and my stew is cold again. She just finished painting so we should probably look it up together even though I figured out his name was Hoby. She's so sweet, she just showed me how she cleaned out the paint water and she has blue paint all over her arms and a splotch under her nose that looks like a booger. She looked in the mirror, came back and said with a chuckle, "I'm going to wash off the booger."

...oops, it is spelled "Hobie." We're going to go read now.

3 and a Half Hours later...

Tasha leaves for preschool at 8:30. The bus comes to the house and I can just stand at the door in my pajamas and watch her trot to the welcoming hand of the bus driver assistant. Aaah, sweet bus! But then what do I do with my time? Hmm, let's see:

• Start a load of laundry
• Send email to my husband requesting classes at UoP for re certification
• Pick up current email
• Get prompt response from my husband and immediately visit the AZ State Teacher certification Unit. Find what I believe to be the correct form and decide to call because I have some questions. While on hold (for 29 minutes and 58 seconds), re-read requirement form, respond several times to my husband's witty correspondence, open and compose email to the state department with specific questions related to my situation, hit send, and then hang up the phone.
• Compose a blog post on requirements to be a teacher, how the requirements are silly but necessary, and decide that I probably ticked off a bunch of people but I don't really care. Also hope that no current or future students read said post because I called a student whiny and although it is true of many students it isn't really professional to use such a term and I should just shut up now before I get into deeper trouble.
• Visit UoP website, check classes offered, and print out courses. Briefly check financial link but decide I don't really have time.
• Get prompt, yet automated response from the Teacher Certification unit. Reply in an email, quoting the requirement form and requesting a specific answer to my specific question. (a little more eloquently than that though because I don't want my file flagged and thrown into the circular file never to be seen again)
• Finish harassing my husband through email.
• Hang up laundry that buzzed well over an hour ago.
• Replant a few bean plants, pull some weeds off the perimeter of the garden, kick both dogs out of the garden (Are you kidding me?! Hello! Get the @*&# off my plants you stupid animals!), and throw a few more misc. seeds down just because I have a bunch of gaps where there is just watered dirt and no sprouts.
• Water under the swing set by hand and start the sprinkler by the tree
• Get in the shower because I am pea-you-suh, all the while composing this blog post in my head in an effort to avoid any revelation that the Holy Ghost might give me because I already have too many assignments to do.
• Get dressed, brush hair, but don't blow dry it because although I do have to go out to meet Tasha at the bus this time, I really don't think the bus people care what I look like. They can think I'm a bum who just barely got off the couch and showered after a leisurely morning of eating bon bons and watching TV.
• Check email. Harass husband again. Be annoyed at the state dept.
• Type up post that I was composing in the shower and frantically hitting "publish post" before the bus pulls up at 11:55-ish, but only after using spell check to find out that I don't know that swingset is actually 2 words and "ish" isn't really in the dictionary, but also proud of myself for knowing how to spell leisure.

Self Proclaimed "Specialist"

I wonder what it really means to be a "specialist" in a certain area. What really is a "consultant"? Crystal cracks me up because on her blog profile she lists consultant as her occupation. Why does this crack me up?! Because it is so stinking true! You can consult Crystal about just about anything and she usually knows more about it that any specialist.

The reason I actually thought about the specialist title was because I am currently in the process of getting my teaching certificate back. YIKES! That is a whole other story. Just for kicks I clicked on the requirements for a Reading Specialist Endorsement. Here are the steps (a bit abbreviated):

1. A valid AZ fingerprint clearance card.
2. A valid AZ teaching certificate.
3. 15 semester hours of courses to include decoding, diagnosis and remediation of reading difficulties and practicum in reading.

First of all, in order to get requirement #2, you have to have submitted requirement #1 so I think that is a little redundant. Leave it to the state to confuse that issue.

Next, 15 semester hours. That's 5 classes. Hmm. Do you think that 5 fulls days of training in a specific program that proves to work with virtually every student should count? Maybe 9 years of working with these students should. I think I definitely have the decoding and practicum part down, but what about the diagnosis? Hmm. Let's think. Can the student read? NO? Then they are diagnosed, end of story.

I know, I know, I'm mocking people that really are trying to set some standards. The problem is that when you set certain standards and make them a requirement you really set yourself up to lose a lot of really good applicants.

When I graduated from ASU I thought I was ready to teach. Boy was I wrong. There was a whole world of knowledge that only comes from actually being in the trenches. For me it wasn't book smarts, training, or diagnosis that was holding me back. It was actually working with kids that I was lacking. Fortunately for me I had an assistant that was a mom. She was so much more qualified to teach than I was, but also the absolute best help I could ever have asked for! I encouraged her to get her degree because she would have been the best teacher EVER! So much of teaching is based on child development and that just really can not be taught anywhere but with children. Sure it's in the books but until you actually experience it, in all it's screaming, laughing, and oh-my-gosh-did-they-really-do/say-that glory, you just don't get it. I had a mom of a student try to tell me something once, insinuating that I was young and just didn't get how to deal with children. I was so offended and knew that I was so right. Boy was I wrong. I'm sorry dear parent, oh brilliant protector of the children. I bow down to your infinite wisdom and knowledge, but am still grateful that you withdrew your pain-in-the-neck-whiny child from my enrichment program.

Yes, this is what teachers are thinking. Only much, much worse. And yes again, I want to go back. I want to make a difference. I'm going to redefine reading instruction in the public school system one school at a time! And dag-nab-it, I am a "Reading Specialist", self-proclaimed and soon to be official. (I should probably learn how to spell defiNATEly though...and lose/loose)