Here's to some even BETTER days...

The 13 year old girl on the left entered 8th grade today, after 3 hours of debate over her schedule.

The bear stayed home with Payton and I. The house was calm and quiet for 5 hours.

The 7 year old girl on the right entered 2nd grade and declared it, "AWESOME!"

So, raise your glass and "clink!"

Who are the Awards for Anyway?

This is the first year that Kyra has been at a school that gives awards, rewards, and even grades for that matter. It's the first year that the word "honors" has come up. The first year that placement in classes has been an issue. Testing has been stressed, achievements have been noted, and goals were being set. Now, fortunately for us and Kyra, she has excelled in these areas and hasn't stressed out over any of it. Is that just who she is, is the work not hard, or does she rise to the challenge?

I went to the 7th grade Honors awards today and chased Payton around the gym and outside for an hour and a half. I was very impressed with the cheering and kind attitude most of the students had for one another and for their teachers. They were attentive and really seemed interested in what was going on. These were all the kids, not just the ones receiving awards. In fact, it seemed like most of the students getting awards were coming from one side of the gym and I was on the other. My side was doing all the cheering. It really was quite impressive. Even the final awards, the ones based on GPA, were receiving quite the applause. I say "even" because that is available to all students who work to receive the grades. The kids that didn't get the grades were proud of and cheered for their peers that succeeded. Would adults be that kind to one another? Would we cheer our neighbor without making excuses for our lack of success?

It got me to thinking... who are the awards for anyway? As they called Kyra's name, I was astonished at how successful she had become in one year at this school. I was proud. I started to look at the program and compare my child to the others, but then I stopped. The question I had to ask myself was, "Why now? This is who Kyra is, she didn't TRY to earn these awards, she just did. Why haven't you been this proud all along?" Why does it matter to me or anyone else how she compares to other students? But then the flip side is, shouldn't she get recognized for going above and beyond? If a teacher looks at all his or her students and selects one that has excelled over the past year, isn't it a good thing to reward them? And isn't a little healthy competition, well, healthy? But then again, if you didn't know you were competing, did you really earn the award? If you just did what you thought you should do, do you really need the reward? Should self-satisfaction and self-appraisal be enough? And isn't that the ultimate goal, being 'proud' of yourself? Really, just having confidence in yourself and your abilities, knowing you've done the best you can not based on what anyone else can do should be what we teach our children, shouldn't it?

I don't know the answers to all these questions. They are the ones swimming through my head as I weigh the options of school choices for the next several years. Ugh, when did being a parent become so difficult? That's the real question!

Curriculum Night at McKemy

First hour: I was nervous. I didn't know anybody.

2nd hour: A parent asked a question and I recognized her voice. I turned around and sure enough, I knew her. Kyra and her son played together when they were about 3 years old. Small world.

3rd hour: Recognized a different parent (Lisa) from 2nd hour and discovered that it was both of our kid's first year at McKemy.

4th hour: Can't stand the teacher. She made good cookies but the 10 minutes I spent in there was about 9 minutes too long.

5th hour: Lunch. Joined the PTSA.

6th hour: Science. Saw Lisa again. That's 3 classes our children share, and they have the next 2 together as well. We walk to 7th and 8th period together and discover:

• we both went to THS
• both are learly of sending our kids there
• both feel like traitors if we send them to McClintock
• we live about 3 blocks from each other

7th hour: While exchanging phone numbers with Lisa, we got shushed by the parent that I knew from 2nd hour. Odd. The teacher explains that the 2nd quarter they will be reading The Outsiders. Hello?! That was only my favorite book of all time as a youth! The teacher explained that she didn't like reading as a child until she read this book. She read it over and over and then all the S.E. Hinton novels. Hello again! That is my life story, right there sista! I told her so.

8th hour: Volunteered to edit papers at home for the teacher. She loves me. She's also the one that gave the kids extra homework this evening because they complained about the 4 sentence homework they had. Awesome. I love her too!

Kyra's been happy the past few days and things have been going smoother. I've had my doubts, like any parent does when helping their child adjust to a new place, but it all came together tonight. I sat on Kyra's bed all giddy and silly telling her about the friend that I made. She laughed at me but was smiling the whole time. It's going to be OK. We're gonna make it.

2 Sweets and No Sour

We play "Sweet and Sour" at our house on occassion. It's an easy and fun way to assess how your day has been. Hopefully the sweet point is easy to come by and the sour point is difficult or not so sour. At the dinner table, the sour point is usually the same for at least 2 people (meaning they had a fight, and by "they" you know who I'm talking about).

Anyway, today was Kyra's first day of middle school. It could have been traumatic. I realized at some point that she really didn't know anybody for sure and was going to eat in a cafeteria for the first time in her life. Do we say something or just let it sneak up on her? We talked a little about it (Bill mostly). We discussed that everyone in her 4th hour class would have the same lunch hour and if she knew someone there she could just follow them in and sit by them. I also assured her that lunchroom antics in a real Jr. High were not at all like those on TV. She giggled at that, probably thinking of the scene in High School Musical where they all start singing and dancing on the tables.

As most of you know, Kyra is not much of a talker. Apparently, on occasion, she can stick her nose in a book and ignore you the whole drive home and you have to shout, "Bye Kyra!" as she's getting out of the car. (Not that that ever happened before!) After a long day at school you never really know what you will get from her. If it's been a trying time she can come unglued and let it all out: either by shouting, crying, or fighting. Other times she's a giggly schoolgirl. First day of school? I didn't know what to expect so I braced myself.

After she settled into the van and I finagled my way out of the parking lot, I hesitantly asked, "sweet and sour"?

She shot back immediately with, "my sweet was when Aiden came up to me and said 'hi' to me right before lunch". Phew, lunch fear is over. They also sat by April, another girl from camp, and their other friends from school. Then she added, my other sweet was when she saw another girl she knew and went up to her.

When we were leaving DMS, a parent there told me that this age was all about friends. For the kids, this is obviously true. They need to have friends to feel secure and have fun and enjoy their time at school. For the parents however, school demands a little more than that. Now I can just hope that McKemy fulfills the academic and athletic portion of schooling that we've been missing over the years. Socially, I think she'll be fine.

Elvis is in the building

I have been in many a lively online discussion about Waldorf schools as of late. I would like to say that I am full of infinite wisdom on the subject, but I'm just not. My daughter Kyra just started attending Desert Marigold, a Waldorf "inspired" school, this year (DMS is "inspired" because they don't make us pay tuition and therefore don't have the complete Waldorf stamp. Yipee for no ginormous tuition!). I've been hesitant to throw myself into the school community, just because I need a break from being super involved and I want her to get her own sense of who she is. This was a big deal for her this year. She had been at one school, with one class for 5 years and I could not have asked for a better beginning. But I digress, back to my Waldorfness.

I think I have come up with some randomly brilliant answers to some questions and concerns that have been raised about Waldorf schools and Waldorf philosophy. It must be my alter ego playing out or something like lack of sleep makes me smarter, especially since one of my replies was done at 1 in the morning. I feel a bit like Elvis: fabulous right now, but it won't last. Hopefully my momentarily brilliant legacy will follow me beyond the grave. Here goes...

A question was raised at the DMS open house: "What does the school do about gifted kids or kids who are struggling? (They didn't quite know how to answer her.) She then clarified and said 'well, what do you do with a kid in kindergarten or 1st grade who can already read?'" This is an excellent question and one that most parents want answered. It is also a question that Waldorfy people won't comment on because they don't label kids as gifted or challenged. Here's my answer: As far as the reader in Kindergarten... that's a mute point. They won't be doing any reading in Kindergarten so there is no way that they would need to be challenged in that area. The challenge will be in storytelling and memory recall. When they start learning letters in 1st grade it is done through art. So again, the challenge will be in art, not the knowledge of the letters which a child may already know. Numbers are done through chants, rhythms and rhymes. The challenges for "gifted" students might very well be in the artistic medium that the factual knowledge is being presented in.

OK, that wasn't as brilliant as I thought it was but I'm going to keep it in because it touches a little on the reading. I could (and probably should) do an entire post on the reading. Maybe later. Last night Rachel sent me this link:

Gnomes and Critics of Waldorf Schools

I must have been in a bizarro funk last night because I didn't get upset at the stupidity of the article, nor did I feel like I had to blast the author. I actually got a "yowsa" and a "that's the most amazing response ever" from 2 pretty amazing women that I respect. So now I'm glowing, bragging, and posting it for the world. (Seriously though, my head has become less and less inflated as I have typed words like "bizarro", "ginormous", and "Waldorfy". Clearly I've lost my Elvisness.)

Here are my thoughts from the article (Italics are quotes from the article, the rest is me):

“How many parents even know that Waldorf teachers study Steiner’s occultism in order to teach at a Waldorf?” Well, I think any parent that has seriously looked into Waldorf education understands that it is based on Steiner's teachings. I wouldn't call his teachings "occultism", but yes, any teacher at a Waldorf school would be very well versed in his views on child development and education. Waldorf schools follow what Steiner created as the best teaching model for children.

“I’ve encountered a claim once that Steiner’s writings are troubling...I examined it, and found the concern to be without merit.” Are some of the things that Steiner suggest outdated? Yes, I think they are and I think that the way people thought back then is drastically different than we think now in our politically correct society. He wrote and lectured in 1904. I am impressed with how much he knew at the time and how very accurate he is when looking at child development, but of course his language is going to be off because his teachings are over a hundred years old! I would say that his philosophies on teaching in the classroom could and should hold up, even in this modern day. The things that are lacking in Waldorf schools are things that can and should be supplemented at home (i.e. computer technology).

Another aspect of the Waldorf approach is its rejection of traditional medicine in favour of the Anthroposophical herbal remedies that are often sold in the schools. I think a lot of people these days are shying away from traditional medicine, but that isn't really my point. The more you involve a teacher in your child's ailments, the more input and influence they will have on how you treat your child. Some parents are going to turn to the Waldorf teacher for their Anthroposophical wisdom, but others are going to treat their child on their own. It is just like any other school, how much influence the teachers and staff have on your child is exactly how much you give them.

While Waldorf supporters see delayed reading as a positive step in a child’s development; others are not as impressed. As a reading teacher, I could go on and on on this subject, but I won't. I can say that Sweden doesn't start teaching reading until age 8 and their country is full of bright people, with a very low illiteracy rate. I can say that many students are not ready to learn to read until age 8, while others are completely competent by 3 or 4. What do you want a school to do, teach to the younger crowd and leave the rest to fend for themselves, or wait until everyone is ready? I will say that the way in which Waldorf teaches the early letters and numbers encourages the "bright" student (or the one that may already know these things) to use senses that might not be as fine tuned as their rote memory is. (i.e. while learning the letter "m", students will create a picture of a mountain with the 2 bumps of the letter. They use paint as a medium and skills that are often less fine-tuned in a child that reads and writes at a young age.) I see delayed reading and writing, with the inclusion of artistic, musical, and rhythmic expression to be an advantage to any student.

As far as the school is concerned, I don't know anything about alchemy, secret societies (they must be really secret!), or reincarnation. Eurythmy is beautiful. If their hand gestures are speaking to another spirit world, I imagine they are saying something nice, because it is very peaceful and calm during their performances and no lightning has ever struck that I know of. OK, I'm getting a little sarcastic here now so I better quit. I will say that I have had a few concerns about some of the celebrations that they hold, but nothing drastic. I would just say that sometimes it feels like they have replaced God the Father with Mother Nature and that is more sad to me than upsetting. No worries from my end.

Good luck to your friend in her school search. I would encourage her to visit the schools she looks into and go more by how she feels than anything else. I knew, and my fifth grade daughter knew, when we drove onto Desert Marigold campus that this was the right place for her. Ten years earlier I had been convinced that a Montessori school was right for her, until I toured the school and met her teacher. (I found a different school for her for K-4) I really believe that you can know what is right for your child, and it might even be different for each of your children.