Just Because...

I was reading about healthy ways to cook quinoa and found this in the comment section:

Comment #1: I make a pot of it at the beginning of the week and eat it for breakfast throughout the week...topped with almond milk, unsweetened shredded coconut, and raisins, zap in the microwave...it's AMAZING!

#2 microwaving food kills the enzymes in the food [FYI]

#3 urban myth. Studies prove otherwise.

#4 There are actually studies to prove that microwaving food is detrimental.

#5 i have read a study that states studies may or may not be beneficial. just sayin...

#6 I read a study that one day we are all going to die.

I don't know why I think this is so funny, except that the last comment really brings the whole discussion to a close. "just sayin'"...

Happy Birthday Gramms!

Chex Caramel Crunch

"At the end of the day it's nice to know..." that when you add brown sugar to butter and corn syrup you get caramely goodness that you can pour over popcorn or Chex mix or probably many other things.  What's better than that?

And, because I can't seem to find the yummalicious recipe that has been given to me on several occasions, here's what I've got so far...

8 cups Chex mix (I used 3Corn/3Rice/2HoneyNut)
1 cup shredded coconut
3/4 cup brown sugar
6 TBLS butter
3 TBLS corn syrup
1/4 tsp baking soda

1. Mix up the cereal and the coconut in a big bowl.
2. Put the brown sugar, butter and corn syrup in a 2 cup measuring cup.  (Don't use a 1 cup one because then it will all spluge out on your microwave floor.  I know.)
3. Melt it for a minute, stir.
4. Melt if for another minute, stir it up.
5. Add the baking soda and stir it up quick.
6. Pour it over the cereal mix.
7. Put it out on some wax paper to cool.

I know there are supposed to be some other ingredients in this like craisins and probably some nuts, but I'm not sure what they are and I don't want to ruin the caramely goodness by adding the wrong stuff.  If you know, do tell.

How to Eat an Ice Cream Cone

-by PT
 

"Yes!" My Favorite Christmas Present

One frustrating evening I told my kids, "You know what I really want for Christmas?  I want you kids to just be agreeable.  Just once a day I want you to tell me 'yes' when I ask you to do something.  Give me a bag of 365 'yes's' for me to use throughout the year."  And you know who did it?  Tasha.  She wrote a page up, copied them, cut them up, stuck them in baggies, and put them in my stocking. 

Individual Ornament Boxes

Every year we have the same argument as the girls set out to decorate the Christmas tree.  Even if I sit there doling out the ornaments, there is a heated discussion on whose ornament is whose and who gave what to who in what year.  It is seriously my worst Christmas nightmare.  I'm pretty sure that's why we didn't put up a tree one year.

Payton and Snoopy's butt
 

This year I vowed that would not happen again.  Somehow I banished the kids from the room, set out 3 boxes and divvied up the ornaments into the boxes.  I handed them each their box and it was sheer bliss.  No harsh words.  No pulling on ornaments.  No crying.   


At one point Bill was trying to get Payton to place the many Pooh bear ornaments on different branches instead of all on one.  He also wanted the ones with faces to, well, face out.  How silly is that?  Wouldn't the snowmen and Snoopy want to see the tree?  I assured Bill that I would fix things once the kids went to bed.  Then I didn't.  It was cute and made me giggle.

 

Well, I don't imagine that things will go that smoothly 2 years in a row.  It only made sense to pack those ornaments up in the boxes according to who should put them up.  The thing is, I don't typically do what I want to do and the tree stays up into the new year and I'm so frustrated that I don't care any more.  This year however, thanks to IKEA, things were completed.  I'm in love with their clear SAMLA boxes.  I'm also in love with pretty colorful tissue paper.  Here's what I came up with:

Happy decorating next year!  Hoo-rah!

Carols by Candlelight at Clark Park

Inspired by an Australian Christmas tradition I found via Pinterest and this Australian mom's blog site, I bring to you...

Carols by Candlelight at Clark Park
This Sunday, December 23rd @ 7pm

Come one, come all and join us in song as we gather to sing Christmas Carols at Clark Park.  Dress warm, bring blankets or chairs, and have a candle, flashlight, or the glow of your cell phone to illuminate our park with joy.  Neighbors, their friends and family are all welcome!

 

"Happy, Happy Christmas!"

They're kind of cute.  I think I'll keep them!

Catching a Break

I went to TMobile this morning because my phone was stuck on it's home screen.  I had actually tried to reboot the thing myself to no avail (thanks for trying google, YouTube, and some Q&A dialogue in the comment zone).  The customer service guy was actually impressed that I had done as much as I did and then said we'd have to replace it.  He looked up my contract.  The warranty on my phone expires on December 26th.  He was shocked and said something like, "that almost never happens.  It is always right after the warranty is up that a phone breaks."  That kind of sounds like a cell phone breakage conspiracy, doesn't it?

Anyway, I'm awaiting my new phone, without a working old phone.  Life is quiet this day.  Probably the next day too.  He said it should be here tomorrow, but the text they sent Bill said the 29th.  YIKES!  That's a LOT of quiet in my future.

That might be nice.

Does anyone know how to "break" a 3 year old's voice for about a week?  That would REALLY make things quiet.

Oh, and thanks to google, YouTube, and more Q&A dialogue, I can confidently use the words SIM card and factory reboot.  Go ahead, laugh away.  The problem is I still am not capable of finding the pictures on that dumb card when I plug it into a Walgreens picture kiosk or the dumb computer at Costco.  My picture life sucks and I have some really lame Christmas cards to prove it.  I did get them at 40% off though.

Homemade Cream of Mushroom Soup

I didn't realize that cream of mushroom soup was a comfort food until this past Thanksgiving.  I was making a gluten-free potato dish that called for a can of cream of mushroom soup, and of course, regular Campbell's is quite glutenous.  It was about 1pm and I realized I had not eaten yet, due to the number of dishes that I was preparing for dinner later that evening.  As soon as they were all prepped, I prepared another bowl of this yummy soup and sopped some up with one of the whole wheat rolls that didn't quite rise like it should have.

I started with this recipe , but simplified it because I don't always need it to be gluten-free or dairy-free.  All I know is that it is just plain yum!  The following will substitute for one can in a recipe.  I'd use chicken broth in place of the milk (and omit the mushrooms, of course) if I needed a can of cream of chicken soup instead.

 

Melt: 2 TBLS of butter in a small pan
Add:  1/4 cup of chopped mushrooms

Cook until the mushrooms are soft and season with onion salt, if desired.

Add:  1/4 cup of flour

Whisk it in and cook slightly so the soup doesn't have a floury taste.

Add:  1 cup of milk

Whisk it in slowly so you don't get lumps.  Cook and stir constantly until desired thickness.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.

PT's "Ball Patch"

I saw a fun idea on Pinterest and pinned it to my "for PT" board.  I found it while searching for things to do with cardboard over at the babycenter.com.  The thing is, sometimes PT sits up in my lap while I am on the computer.  More specifically, he sits in my lap and looks at what I am looking at while on Pinterest.

"Wait mommy, wait!"  he jumped and pointed to the computer screen.  "Go back."  He's now learned how to work the arrow keys to get to the pictures that he wants to see.  Oh, this sweet kid kept longing for that cardboard ramp for some balls to zoom down.  He was begging, but not in that annoying-no-way-in-heck-will-I-do-this-for-you way. So, I found this giant piece of cardboard at Costco, took it home, grabbed some extra cardboard and duct tape and set to work.  Then I called in my 14 year old back up because my husband refused to be a part of something he didn't understand.

It's been fun, for about a month.  I can't wait until Santa brings his next Pinterest creation and takes this big cardboard contraption with him.

"What I Just Did?"

To play Chutes and Ladders with Payton is not a game of numbers and counting.  It is a game of being good and bad, and doing stuff.  EVERY SINGLE space that Payton lands on he asks, "what I just did?" to determine if he has broken a cookie jar and has to slide down the chute, or if he has helped a woman find her purse and then gets to go to the movies.  No, I didn't have to look that up on the game board.  I know them.  I know them ALL.  Don't skate on the ice, it'll crack and you'll fall.  Bake a cake and you can eat it, climb that ladder!  Saving a cat from a tree gets you a big reward and you climb a huge ladder.  But to win the game the easy way you get first prize in the pet show.  This is so like real life, isn't it?  Anyway, between my moves and Payton's moves and the "what I just did?" and "what you did?"'s I was going crazy by space number 35.  There isn't anything on space number 35 and he just doesn't accept "nothing" as an answer.  "I DID NOTHING!  THE SPACE IS BLANK!  SEE... NUH-THING!"

I really wish we had played Blockus instead.

And I Thought I Was High Maintenance...

(...says the woman who won't drink milk from a plastic cup, and thinks that water is better with ice in a glass glass)

This morning Payton saw that I had packed a bagel with cream cheese for Tasha to take to school for lunch, so he wanted one for breakfast.  Not only did he want to eat it, but it had to be wrapped up in aluminum foil and placed in a bag in the refrigerator, just like his sister's had been.  In the process of preparing his food, I cut his bagel in half, just like I did Tasha's, only he did NOT want it cut.  He had a complete meltdown- he fell to the kitchen floor crying, "no,no,no, I no want it cut!  Noooo...." He sat there, head slumped into his hands, lamenting over the cut bagel, while I wrapped it in foil, placed it in the cloth Zabar's bag I bought the last time I was in NY, and placed it carefully in the fridge.  I cleaned up, reaching over him to place the knife in the sink, and sat down to eat my own breakfast.  A good 15-20 minutes later, he retrieved his bag and happily ate his breakfast, realizing it was exactly like Tasha's and tasted the same cut as it would have uncut.

Of course, he needed a drink to wash the bagel down.  The drink was "in the blue cup, not the wed one," with ice, and poured from "that jug" (opening the fridge and pointing), not the pitcher of water just next to the jug.

The Shack: Respite to the Weary Human

There are times when I think that living in the desert of Arizona has it's drawbacks.  The obvious virtual non stop heat for 4-6 months of summer is only one factor, albeit a HUGE factor, that leads me to the dismal conclusion that I live in a wasteland.  A h.o.t. wasteland.  That is not, however, why I sat down to write this evening.  I try to not write about the heat because it is just depressing.

It's storming tonight.  A really good, solid storm.  Often times it just threatens to storm:  dark skies, muggy air, crazy wind, lots of dust, lightning and even thunder come, but no rain.  I've been through so many rainless storms that I sometimes forget the power that rain has.  There is a cleansing power to rain as it washes away the day with all of it's trials and sadness.  The confrontations, disappointments, and unexpected or expected challenges can all just zoom down the gutters and off to some unknown water plant or sewer system to be forgotten.  God bless the rain.  I mean it.

I've been sitting by this window debating if I should just go stand out in the rain and let it drench me from head to toe.  The cleansing power of rain could do me some good.

The storm also reminds me of a quote from The Shack...

“There is something joyful about storms that interrupt routine.  Snow or freezing rain suddenly releases you from expectations, performance, demands, and the tyranny of appointments and schedules.  And unlike illness, it is largely a corporate rather than individual experience.  One can almost hear a unified sigh rise from the nearby city and surrounding countryside where Nature has intervened to give respite to the weary humans slogging in out within her purview.  All those affected this way are united by a mutual excuse, and the heart is suddenly and unexpectedly a little giddy.  There will be no apologies needed for not showing up to some commitment or other.  Everyone understands and shares in this singular justification, and the sudden alleviation of the pressure to produce makes the heart merry.”  (pg 15)

I've never experienced this kind of "corporate" experience since we don't really have the kind of weather that shuts things down here, but I do get a little giddy at times.

When You Thought Life Couldn't Get Any Better

Your son pooped on the potty.

You took a picture of the IKEA plates that you put in the dishwasher in rainbow order.

Later, while playing Mastermind, you put the pegs in rainbow order to take another picture.

Cheetos.  The fat puffy kind.

You realize that you are grateful that a phase of life has ended...you will no longer buy diapers for your children!

You read a book in a day to find out what evil things teenage girls will do and say to each other to be popular and are grateful that you were never one of those girls.

School starts and everyone is starting something new, except you.

You think giving key word ideas to someone elses pictures might be a fun thing to do even though you have plenty of organizing of your own pictures to do.

You contemplate getting a facebook account just so you can have a pinterest account to store all the craft ideas you won't do.

You surf pinterest knowing you don't have anywhere to store the great ideas you find!

4 vehicles parked somewhere on your property:  only one runs without problems, it's not your truck, and it doesn't hold your whole family.


You finally upcycle a skirt into what you think is a pretty cute outfit and not a single person comments on it.  Not your daughters, not your husband, not even the ladies that knew you started it 6 months ago.  Maybe it wasn't so cute.

You learned the word "upcycle" on pinterest and think you're pretty cool for not only using it in a sentence, but for actually doing it with two items of clothing you were going to throw out.

Finally...you've gotten a little of your edge back (enough so that you didn't write the really depressing stuff), and put up this random list of things that actually did happen and aren't very exciting.

The Higher Law

The Sermon on the Mount

Silly PT

You just never know what will come out of your child's mouth.  Ever.  Sometimes you can figure out why they said it though.

Payton was trying to get Tasha to come over to him and was trying to be authorative with her.  He wanted her over there, dang it, and he was going to get her there.  He even has a forceful voice that he uses- not mean or yelling or whiny, just forceful and demanding.  I wasn't sure what he said at first, but then as it registered I chuckled and told Bill.

PT furrowed his brow, pointed to the ground, and said, "Tasha Thomas, get over here right now."

"Tasha Thomas"?  Oh, silly boy.  I'm still chuckling at your antics.  Sweet Payton, sweet PT, we love you.  But alas, when we've asked nicely and you're not listening, how many times have you heard, "Payton Thomas, get over here right now"?

The Shack: Limiting Yourself

Bill and I were discussing why I thought he was a good teacher in Primary.  Oh shut up, we do talk and yes, sometimes I compliment him!  It took me a while to get there, but the bottom line was that I thought of this idea from The Shack about "limiting yourself".  Here's the quote:

“Remember that choosing to stay on the ground is a choice to facilitate a relationship; to honor it.  Mackenzie, you do this yourself.  You don’t play a game or color a picture with a child to show your superiority.  Rather, you choose to limit yourself so as to facilitate and honor that relationship.  You will even lose a competition to accomplish love.  It is not about winning and losing, but about love and respect.”  (pg 106)

Bill is really good about talking to the kids at their level.  Not eye level, or "on the ground", but at the level of their understanding.  We talked about how sometimes Kyra and I will push that to the next level and how that is good, but we have to be careful not to do that too much with Tasha. 

Last week, the girls had a fight because Tasha tends to "forget the rules" of a game when she loses too many times.  I understand how frustrated she could get, and at the same time I could see where her sister doesn't just want to let her win every time, she wants to challenge herself.  With this quote in mind, the argument seems pretty lame.  That's because I want them to have a relationship based on respect, but I'm not them and they are still young.

I think to "limit yourself" is to stop thinking/looking/feeling things from your perspective, and to start doing it from another's.  Some might call it empathy, but it doesn't even really have to go that far.  Say that you don't want to give a homeless person $5 outside of a fast food restaurant because you know the money would go further and be spent better at a grocery store.  But that's your broad perspective of what a person with a home, fridge, shelf, car, etc. has to work with and plan for.  What if you limit yourself and think that you really don't have any idea where you will be headed after your next meal, when you might eat next, who will be with you, if you have a place to sleep, etc.?  You're hungry and this is where you are.  You want to fulfill a need, one that maybe you haven't fulfilled in a long time. And maybe you stopped thinking long term or next day when you lost hope in that idea for whatever reason.  With that $5, you can spend a while indoors with air conditioning as a paying customer, get a meal and an ice cold drink that you can refill an take with you.

I'm having a hard time limiting myself as to where to stop the flow of ideas on this subject.  I think the main idea I want to come away with, especially when it comes to helping and serving others, is this:  the solution to their problem lies within themselves and how they are capable of handling it.  It doesn't matter what I would do because I'm not them.  It's my choice to help or not to help, serve or not to serve. 

The Shack: Trust and Love

I've been discussing with different people on how I've been using this book to learn how to parent better.  We were created in the image of God, and sent to earth to live in families so we can learn to be like God, so it seems like we should try to parent as God parents us.  Of course, when I mentioned that to a friend they immediately hung their head in disparage and said something like, "oh no, I don't need THAT!"  I wasn't really able to clarify then, but maybe this post and quote will make it sound a little less impossible and a little more hopeful!

Like many people, the main character (Mack) has problems with God because He lets terrible things happen to people on earth.  He doesn't know how a loving father could let that happen.  There is a lot of discussion on pages 124-125 on why God is good, why there is pain in the world, and how He tries to use that pain and evil for good.  It's at this point that Mack kind of admits that he does not really trust God.  This is Papa's* response: (*"Papa" is the name that the author uses for God.  I'm going to use it from here on out because it helps me recognize that this is a conversation between the characters)

“You cannot produce trust just like you cannot ‘do’ humility.  It either is or is not.  Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.  Because you do not know that I love you, you cannot trust me…For now I just want you to be with me and discover that our relationship is not about performance or you having to please me.  I’m not a bully, not some self-centered demanding little deity insisting on my own way.  I am good, and I desire only what is best for you.  You cannot find that through guilt or condemnation or coercion, only through a relationship of love.  And I do love you.”      (pg 126)

So there it is, in black and white...no guilt or condemnation or coercion.  Now, none of us will admit that we do those things because in reality what we do isn't at all as bad as any of those words sound.  But aren't I trying to coerse my child into doing something if I say, "I'll get you ---, if you do --- for me"?  If I had a relationship of love with that child I could say, "Hey, you know what, I can't really go to the store for --- right now because I'm working on ---".  An older child might recognize that they could help in some way, but a younger child might need a little more prompting like, "would you like to help me?"  I'm having a hard time coming up with a condemnation scenario, but I think it can  also mimic the idea that your love is based on performance.  After I read this, I started to say things like, "I don't want you to feel bad about that or feel like you've done something wrong, I want to have a discussion about it so we can have a relationship.  I love you no matter what you do or don't do."  I can't believe how positively my kid responded to this statement!  As far as guilt goes, nobody needs that!  I've had to take back some things I've said to my kids, I do it with a genuine apology (not something followed by a "but you..."), and I still sometimes worry that the guilt is already out there.

"...and I desire only what is good for you", is another line that I especially liked.  Seriously, if I keep my eye on that and communicate that to my kids, what else is there? I know I was able get that idea across to my oldest on several occasions, but it has been more difficult with subsequent children. Not only are there more personalities to juggle, but what is best or good for one, might not be the same for the other and we have to make compromises.  That's hard for little kids to understand, and doesn't seem fair for older kids.  What am I talking about here?  The baby that misses their nap or has to sleep in the car because you need to take another child someplace. (not so good for the baby)  The oldest child that can't leave out their projects (be it school related, a puzzle, legos, etc.) because their little siblings will or already have gotten into it and ruined it.  The fact is, as their parent, you want what is good for them, but sometimes it's difficult to find the communitative good for all your kids, all at the same time.  I guess that's when it's important to have those strong relationships of love and trust already built. (Ugh!  Where was this book 13 years ago?) I've found that when I just pause an argument and say, "you know, I'm just trying to figure out what is good for you here," we make progress by listening to each other and figuring it out together.  I've surprised myself by swallowing my pride and seeing that sometimes I need to "cave" into my daughter's request.  (I'm joking with the word "cave" there, but how many times do we stand our ground because we can't give in to what our kids want?)

So there you have it, Parenting 101, from The Shack.  Of course, this could be Friendship 101, Leadership 101, Marriage 101, Teaching or Business Relationships 101...the list goes on.  It really is a good idea to create a relationship based on love with anyone that you want to trust, isn't it?  And don't we want to trust anyone that we want or need to be in contact with on a regular basis?

Payton-isms

"Doen even think abou it" (It's a warning, usually aimed at Tasha)

"Lissen to me-uh!" (You better listen!)

"whaz iz dis come from?" (Where did you get this?)

"Mom, hoel you me, peez." (He wants to be held)

"oh-grit" (yogurt- he and I are both partial to Greek Gods Honey flavor)

"three...four...zero!"  (He's counting down, and then you better do what he asked.  This is the only time he includes 3...typically he counts 1,2,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12)